It's done. Almost.

I still have some touch up painting to do, but it's a bathroom again!

I saved some money by spray painting the fixtures. They turned out better than I thought they would.

I got these two great metal tiles, at Hobby Lobby. Actually I got all that stuff from there, and great stuff for my kitchen too. The kitchen is next, and stupidly, I'm excited about painting it!

Anyway, this paragraph is about how much stuff costs, so if that offends you or bores you, please move along!

The two tiles had this spray paint looking stuff on them, so they were 90% off. I got them both for $5. At the checkout counter, the sales clerk told me it was spray chalk, and sure enough, when I got home, they wiped perfectly clean. Score!!! One is in the bathroom, and the other one is for the foyer when we get that painted. In December. *sigh* Anyway....

The flower picture was also 90% off. It was $6. Who would have paid $60 for that picture?? Oh well, not me! Hee....!

It turned out a little girlie, but I like it. I hope Allen does. He's usually good with what ever, and he's been so busy lately, I think he'll just like the fact that he can use the bathroom downstairs again!

The picture frame and basket are from HL too. They were 50% off. I love HL.

This frame is really cool, and I love this picture. Hayes took it of Laney when she was little. I mean young. She was very chunky. So we have this game we play that Laney really hates. I'm always asking her what happened to Baby Laney. I didn't really get enough time with Baby Laney, and I always tell her I miss her. The 6 year old Laney rolls her eyes and tells me she ate Baby Laney! Sick and twisted, I know. I'm sure it will come up in her therapy sessions later on. I found this picture, though, and I had to use it. Laney loved that it's in there, so that's good. And I'll try to chill out on the Baby Laney stuff. :)

A weird thing happened at the check out, too. HL is a Christian store. They are closed on Sunday, play Christian music and have lots of religious stuff. Anyway, I had a question about one of the damaged tiles, about whether it was 90% off or not. The cashier asked the manager if it was 90% off, and his reply was,
"Why the h*ell not?"

Blink. Blink.

Um, hello????? My KIDS are standing here. In HOBBY LOBBY.

I've had to say a few prayers for that man since then.

Oh well. I got great deals. I got everything for the original cost of the two tiles, and I can't wait for you to see the stuff I got for the kitchen. I'm not starting that painting until Saturday. The kids and I need a break. And I still have paint on my fingers, feet and HAIR. I should probably get clean before I start again! :)

3 Sweet Boys

My two friends and I all have boys that are 2 years old, 7 months old and 3 months old. They are all kinda special-I mean all kids are special, but my boy was after a miscarriage, one boy was after years of infertility and one boy was after 2 miscarriages and years of infertility. I guess that makes you appreciate things a little more. And not take things for granted. Even when they won't stop screaming or keep you up all night. For 2 years.

And they are the cutest darn things you have ever seen. Really. I love them all.

Progress

Well, it almost looks like a bathroom. Almost. I still have lots to do, but the bulk of the painting is over. That could be because the paint all ended up on ME. I heard one time that the sign of whether or not you are a good painter is how much paint you get on yourself. Dad was always mostly clean. *ahem* Not so for his offspring.

The color is called, hilariously, "Neutral." And yep, it is. There are only a few colors I'd paint my walls at this point, with selling the house in our minds, and we were already painting those colors on other walls. With a near brain break down in the middle of Home Depot imminent, Allen chose this color. He did good. He chose the "big" color to go almost everywhere, and did a great job with that too. Who was I to doubt?

The color doesn't show well in these pictures, but the goodness AWFUL pink that I covered the first time I painted this bathroom does. Can you believe that? Ugh. (No offense to those of you with pick bathrooms. Just not my style!)

This room was SO hard because it was so hard. There were a few butt prints on the walls too. You just can't bend or move without hitting a freshly painted wall. Now I only have to paint the fixtures, hang those and clean everything up. I have some cute ideas for decorations for the walls too.

One room down. Eleven hundred to go!!!!

Painting - Day 1 of 1,000

First of all, why did I choose this blue for a bathroom? The color is "Egyptian Night" and it matched my "Cafe Terrace" picture so well. I was going for a twilight feeling, you know. I was also 8 months pregnant and out of my mind, I believe. Do you know how many coats of Kilz it's taking to cover my Egyptian Night? We're at 3 right now. Oh. my. goodness.

I have leaned several things today.

1. I am a horribly messy painter. I have paint everywhere. I even tracked it on the carpet. That may bump up our flooring plans. ( :) ) I have learned to wear flip flops I can slip off. I'm learning.

2. It is SO hard to be OCD and paint. I'm sad because my supplies have paint on them. I know.

3. You must have music in order to paint. Only when David Crowder is singing to me can I paint correctly. Or kinda correctly. Or the Elizabethtown soundtrack. That one worked well too.

4. You have lots of time to think when you're painting. Everyone knows I need more time to think.

5. You need a fan blowing in fresh air into the tiny bathroom so you don't faint from the fumes.

6. Little kids love paint.

7. I am going to be painting a long, long time.

My Dad is a real painter. Yesterday I was thinking that I could go to work for him if I ever needed a job in an emergency.

After today, I'm not so sure. I think I need to read some "how to paint" websites before I progress any further.

I do think this bathroom might be the hardest room. It's tiny, has lots of hardware to remove, was a really dark color and had TONS of cutting in to do. Or maybe I'm just telling myself that so I don't quit now!

And yes, I'm crazy to do this. But it would cost several hundreds to have this done. I can't ask my Dad to help because he has his hands full with my grandparents and I'm tired of our house looking like crap. I can see why some people say this is fun. I'm just not there yet.

I did have lots of offers to help, and I might be calling on you soon! It's too small in the bathroom for anyone else except me, but soon, I'm going to be cashing in on some sweet, sweet offers! Lol... Unless you've run for the hills. And I'd think you were awfully smart if you have done that!

My cutting in skills need some help. I do like the new light fixture, though.

The Joker

Allen and I had a rare, and I mean rare, chance have a date last week. We went to see The Dark Knight. Now I'm not going to endorse a movie here, but we had a chance to go see it, so we did.

I wasn't fully prepared for the range of emotions I would feel watching that movie.

It was mostly Heath Ledger. I wasn't a huge fan of his. I hadn't even seen him in a movie. I knew who he was, of course. And thanks to People magazine, I knew a lot about him. About his little girl.

Watching that movie, though, was like watching a ghost. I kept looking for glimpses of the real Heath. And let me tell you, there were none.

I knew from reading press about the movie that he has a huge chance of being nominated for an Oscar. There has been only one other win for a leading actor by a posthumous actor.

(Okay I am totally distracted by that word - posthumous. I love to say it. I have a list of words I love to say. Cyclical-medicinal-misogynist- I love these words. I have to think carefully when I say them. It's like exercising for my brain.)

Anyway, I was just wrapped up in his performance. It was electrifying. It consumed me. It was amazing.

But I found myself praying my brains out for him.

As I understand it, LDS people pray for their dead. They can even baptize the dead, just so you won't be taken back like I was when I first heard this. I felt a little funny praying for a deceased person. But hey, God is the Creator of the universe. I believe all things are possible with Him. So I prayed.

I've always struggled with the finality of death. For us, for those of us who believe what Jesus did for us, we just step from one life to our other life. That's easy. But how does it go for those that don't believe?

We did the play Diary of Anne Frank in high school. My best friend Amy and I had numerous conversations about how to get to Heaven. She struggled with just the one way. She also happened to be Anne in the play. The play was pretty heavy, for a high school play. After a performance one night, she clung to me sobbing. She said that Anne couldn't have gone to hell, after everything she went through on Earth. She went through hell here. Didn't she deserve heaven? I knew the correct answer, the Biblical answer, but it didn't seem to fit at that moment.

God loved her more than me. Did any of that matter to Him?

So I thought about that. A lot. And kept thinking about it through the years.

I get the only one way to heaven thing. And like Pastor David said not too long ago, if there were 1,000 ways, we'd want just one more. It's not how many ways there are. It's are you willing to do anything to get there?

And my view of salvation had evolved over the years too. It's not just moving from the "hell" line into the "heaven" line. It's a life style. It's a relationship. It's an all consuming desire to know Him. And be holy like He is holy.

But there is this whole "staying out of hell" thing. I wouldn't want to spend one tiny second separated from my Jesus. We're talking about an eternity here. Can you even fathom? I think if we could, we'd be terrified of anyone we knew actually spending an eternity there.

So I thought, "Maybe there's more to it." Bear with me. Because this is not only not Scriptural, it's maybe even blasphemous. I do think that God was a tad bit vague on some things in the Bible. I mean, we have a world that's either 6,000 years old or millions of years. Vague.

So maybe there's more to it. Maybe at some point, in between life and eternity, unbelievers get just one. more. chance.

They missed a life full of a relationship with Him. That's reason to mourn right there. But just maybe. They get one more chance? Before eternity? Before they are separated forever?

I know that we are saved by faith. And I know that faith is the belief in the things unseen. A conviction of things not seen, according to Hebrews. So they have to belive with out seeing.

But if the God of the universe looked at you, and asked you if you believed, would you say "yes."?

I know that the pride of man would keep some from saying yes. But for most, would they believe?

I know that God's mercy is way above my ability to understand. I also know his wrath is mighty too. Maybe He's not interested in one more chance. Maybe He gives all the chances people need while they are still here.

I just absolutely cannot imagine hell. Or going there.

So I prayed for Heath Ledger. That he somehow escaped hell.

Now I can hear you thinking, "Who are you to presume that he wasn't saved?" I'm not judging. Please hear me say that. I'm really not. He surely could have been a believer. I just don't ever hear of a person dying that my soul doesn't cry out, "LORD, let them KNOW you. Please." And I pray that they did. Pray that if they didn't, that somehow, some way, God saved them. Can't He go back, and speak to them in a dream? Can't he make those rocks cry out and speak of His glory? Can't He save them all??

It's free will. I know. It's a love that I just can't grasp. That Jesus died for those who would. not. believe. I just cannot get that love. I would die for my kids. My husband. For someone who hated me? Heh.

And then the question begs to be asked, "What am I doing to keep anyone out of hell?" *sigh* Not much, I fear.

Other than that, I pray for his little girl. She doesn't have a Daddy now. He did an amazing job in that movie, and however tiny. However minuscule. I hope she gets some comfort out of that.

Dog Days of Summer

You know it's hot when.....

How you doin'?

Or "How you doin'?

I miss Joey. Not really. I guess I just think I miss Joey. I've already started digressing.

The Holy Spirit put on my heart lately to call up my girl friends, and ask, "So how are you doing spiritually?"

Um, no. Thank you.

I don't think I'll ever fully realize the gravity of disobeying the Creator of the universe. I mean, why don't I have referential fear? The God who spoke the infinite universe into being, and I look at Him and say "No." There's no quicker way for me to get incensed as a mom than to see one of my kids look into my face and respond to a request, or a command by saying, "No."

And I said "No."

I even listed all the things I'd rather do than ask that question.

I'd rather have a root canal. (I think that one's coming anyway.)
I'd rather clean a public restroom. And if you know my ocd tendencies, that would speak volumes.
I'd rather night wean Zane for a month. Wait, I'm already doing that.
I'd rather give up television for a month. I need to do that anyway.

You get the picture.

It wasn't because I wanted to be disobedient. It wasn't because I wanted to displease God.

I didn't want anyone to think I was being judgmental or holier than thou. I mean, that's kind of a person question. You know?

So I did nothing. And I did it very well.

Then I was talking to a sweet, dear friend of mine. And the conversation turned to spiritual walks. Ours specifically. And she said, "You know, mine really stinks right now."

And I confessed to her that mine was sucking lemons right now too. She needed to share.

WHAM. There it was. God didn't want me to call my friends and question them about how well they were doing. He wanted me to call and encourage. Share my struggles. Confess my shortcomings.

I mean, I love to study. I love to spend time with God. I crave time with Him. I love to talk to Him all day. I love to hear his voice. I love to spread out my Lexicon, my Strong's concordance, my laptop, my commentaries, my notebook, and my Bible. I love to just pour over the Word.

And I haven't been. I can't figure out why.

The great reformer Martin Luther said, “I generally pray two hours every day, except on very busy days. On those days, I pray three.”

It's just the opposite for me. As soon as life gets going, I abandon the thing that keeps me sane. Why in the ever lovin' world??

I know that I'm pulled in every direction. I know I'm busy and tired. But how much of a better wife, mother and friend am I when I am where I need to be with Jesus?

How much permanent damage have I done to the Kingdom because of my selfishness? Whoa boy.

All God wanted me to do was to reach out and check on my friends. I just assume that everyone is fine except me. I assume that everyone is kicking along and I'm the only one struggling.

God's grace is freely poured on my head, and yes, He does know my heart. He knows that I want to spend time with Him, but He also sees how I spend my time and knows that my actions speak louder than my words do.

Pastor David says that spiritual walks ebb and flow. My question is "WHY?" Other than our sin nature and pride and selfishness and all that good stuff. Why is it so hard to do what's right? Why is it so hard to live the life that He died so freely for us to have?

Pastor David is kicking my butt right now, too, as usual. Asking me to freely share my faith. With friends, acquaintances and complete strangers. Do I want to do that? What would I rather do that do that? See the list above. *sigh*

I'm just frustrated with me. Just like with spending or eating or talking. The ways I fail Him and myself each day.

I just want to please Him. And be what He wants me to be. That seems so impossibly impossible and so impossibly easy.

This makes me happy

Jackie's Here!!!!!

Or back in the South, at least! They got here last night, from Washington State. They left last Friday and have been driving ever since. With their yellow lab!!! They are moving to Atlanta tomorrow!!! We got to spend the day with them, and it was so great to see her again. I just kept thinking, "She's really here!!!"

Our friend Shannan came by and Jennifer brought them their most favorite strawberry cake. I can't tell you how much they loved that.

The kids just picked up right where they left off. It's like no time had passed at all. Except everyone is 2 years older! They had a blast playing, and I was so glad to see how much fun they had. We have the best friends in the whole world. Really.

It was hard to see them go again, but I love how close they are going to be now. I'm thinking we can visit every couple of months at least. And I'm not giving up hope that one day, just maybe, they will move back here. And we can get houses next door to each other!

More Zane-athon!

We had a great party on Sunday with family for Zane. Sandy and Van, Nicky, Grandmother and Papa and Mimi and Emily all came to help us eat cake and have a fun party!

So on Wednesday, his actual birthday, I called our friends to come party some more with us! The whole Vines clan met us at Zoe's for lunch. Then we went to Edgar's for birthday happys. James took the kids to the toy store while Jenn and I got to browse the scrapbook store all by ourselves. Well, we had the babies, but they were very good. After that we joined James at the toy store, and let the kids play for a bit, which my kids loved. They could just stay at forever at that place!

Then Allen got off early, and we met at Olive Garden for dinner. Salad and breadsticks. Yum!

It was such a fun, happy day doing things we love to do! Yea, Zane!!!!

Twinkies

My twinkie and her twinkie.

Ahhhh, the goodies!!!!!

Oh. my. goodness.

I love love love love love......

I'll take all of them. Thank you.

Sweet birthday boy.

Allen, I want this cake for my next birthday. Are you listening, honey??? I REALLY want this cake....

It's genetic, this love of cupcakes.

Um, could you open those, please? Really? I mean NOW???

No words needed.

That's part of Jude's ladybug that was on his cupcake which somehow ended up on his nose! Nothing more, I promise!!!

Jenn's gonna kill me, but LOOK at E's face.
"HEY LADY! CAN I GET A BITE OF THAT? A CRUMB? HELLO?????"

Playing at the store where we choose our Grover. A present from Aunt Jodie.

See my Grover???? :)