Wasn't the dust bowl a football game?

I got a bit behind on my laundry, and one night recently, I plopped down to fold several baskets worth. In the vein of finding something G rated on prime time television, I turned on PBS. I figured it would be a pretty safe choice. This particular night, there was a documentary on the series "The American Experience" about the Dust Bowl.

I continue to wonder if I am a product of a broken public school system or if I was just clueless. I made decent grades in school, although there is no doubt in my mind that I didn't apply myself in any way, nor did I perform nearly 1/100th of my potential. I stay continually amazed at how little I know about anything and everything. I had a vague idea of what the Dust Bowl was. I mean, some dust flew around for a bit, right?

Oh my. I had NO idea what these people endured for near a decade in the 30's. I forgot totally about my laundry and just sat, transfixed, watching the horrors these people lived through. They inadvertently raped the land with wheat crops, leaving the earth, the dust and the dirt, exposed and unanchored. The dust storms that would ravage these people reminded me of the clouds of debris that the people of New York experienced when the Twin Towers collapsed. The sky would darken and everything would go black, blacker than night. If you lived through the storm, what you then endured was even worse.

There was dust in EVERYTHING. Their food, their water, *three* feet of dirt in their houses, their beds, in their clothes, noses and they constantly crunched dirt in their teeth even. People, especially children, died in their families' arms because of pneumonia. Their lungs were so broken by the constant dirt. Those who could move eventually did, but most couldn't afford too. They continued to plow the dust and dirt, praying and hoping, for years after years, for somehow some crops to grow. There wasn't even any rain. Just dirt, dust and more dirt. They were poor, hungry and dying.

A decade. Every day. Plowing dust.

Just hoping.

I was blown away. (Absolutely NO pun intended.) I sat there, trying to remember a day, just ONE day, that I had ever lived that was as horrible as the decade these people endured. I couldn't think of just one.

My friend, Matt, who is Godly and wise beyond his years, said one day that all we have are rich man's problems. I thought about that a lot. What problems do I have? Really? Most all of my problems are self made.

Too busy? Stop doing so much. Too tired? The same. Not enough money? Stop spending. Depressed? Bored? Restless? Uninspired? Unappreciated? Angry? Frustrated? Stressed out?

All man made. Even if your health is taken from you, you are going to get top notch care, and not left to die a slow painful death in a third world hospital.

We have no problems. And our only problem should be how do we get the Gospel to the world before it's too late. That should be our only problem.

I accidentally stumbled upon a small phenomenon on Twitter - A subject that rocked my tiny world. People post their "first world problems." The type out "#firstworldproblems," and then express whatever is getting them down at the moment:

"Bought a new oven pan and it won't fit in my oven."
"My Friday night is boring."
"Starbucks got my coffee order wrong."
"There really is an Eggo shortage."

I don't mean that these people's lives are truly ruined because there are no Eggo waffles, but you get the idea. Have we become so self absorbed that we really and truly believe that anyone cares that you're upset because you can't buy your preferred brand of waffles?

Are there real problems? Of course. We all have real difficulties in our lives, but poured through the strainer of the Word, I should, and I do mean SHOULD, have a grasp how to handle situations that come into my life in a way that gives glory to God and grows me spiritually too.

And truly, our only real problem is how to spread the Gospel as quickly and a far as possible. And I'm begging God to show me how this looks in my own life, in real life-not just on a silly blog.

I know that there are situations that rock us to the core. I know that people I love and adore are right now going through terribly trying times. I don't mean to diminish those struggles. But you don't have to go back very far in the history of this country to see that we have become a terribly spoiled people. Step outside of this countries' history and the facts become even more sobering. We haven't lived a hard day in our lives. Ever. And I've been poor. I've been firstworld poor. Never third world poor. I've never experienced ethnic cleansing. I've never experienced real, debilitating hunger. I've never slept in a card board box. I've never experienced religious persecution. I could go on and on...

I'm struggling to find how I am supposed to live in this age God as plunked me down in as a child of God that pleases Him. I don't want to get to Heaven and try to explain why I was too tired or stressed by all my man made first world, rich man problems and not caught up with winning the lost. I'm trying to figure out how to help those in my life who are struggling with real problems in a way that honors God. I've decided that this is all really very, very simple or extremely complicated. It's one or the other.

My theory is that it's really simple, and I've just made it all very complicated. It's about the blood of Christ covering my sins, and me reaching the lost. That's it.

So it wasn't a football game after all...

This is going to be SO bad...

Oh this is going to be so bad, but I can't help it. On the way home from Atlanta, I had child-free access to the radio. It was heavenly. I was in the car for 6 hours in a 20 hour period. I loved it. I had coffee and could listen to what ever I wanted to. I think I could drive across the country that way. Or at least up Route 66. I have always wanted to do that. And I could digress in my mind all I wanted to. That's not gonna work here, so I really must focus.

So during this driving, I found a really cool guy who gave a talk that rocked me to the core. I'll blog about that later. So after listening to that, I thought I would give some other sermons a chance. What I found mostly were stupid stories, dumb jokes and illustrations that made me vacillate between rolling my eyes and saying out loud, "Are you kidding me?" I became even more thankful for the man of God who brings the Word to my church body each week. And he serves that Word steaming hot. Boy... Anyway,

This is totally going to read like one of those inane illustrations, but I really can't help it.

I was thrilled, and I mean beyond thrilled, to get to go see David Crowder in Atlanta. Or the
A. T. L. as the kids call it these days. Our month had been so busy that aside from thinking about how excited I was, I didn't have a lot of time to plan for the trip. Thankfully Jackie had her brains about her and mailed me my ticket and some directions. The morning that I was supposed to leave, Mom asked me if I knew where I was going. I told her that I had absolutely no idea. If you have met me for even a second, my OCD mad planning skills may have presented themselves. So it was quite unusual, to say the very least, that I had not planned this trip down to the millisecond.

I packed in about 2 minutes, threw everything in the car and went to get gas. At the gas station I typed the address into my trusty phone and off I went. I even had to remember how to get to I20, if that tells you how seldom I travel outside my county. Panic set in as I got good and on the interstate. I had NO idea where I was going. And I was going to Atlanta, or the ATL as we'll now call it, so we can be "with it." I have been lost in the great ATL several time, luckily with a car full of girls. Now I was alone, and barrelling down the interstate towards the great unknown.

Now the good thing was that I had my phone. You type in the address of your destination, which I had thanks only to Jackie, and then it shows you a map with your route highlighted. The directions are even broken down into a step by step route and most comforting was a blinking blue dot that is YOU. So you always know where you are and where you are going.

I'd love to say I was easy breezy after getting this info typed into my phone, but once I hit Six Flags, I got really nervous. The ATL is full of interstates, and most have about 6 lanes and everyone does 90. I was a nervous wreck. I clutched my phone, no music on and talked to myself incessantly. It was comical, to be sure. Thanks to my phone, I arrived at the church safely right on time.

I was paranoid about my phone the whole time I was there, and we laughed about it some. I was terrified of losing that thing. How would I get home without it? I was relying totally on it, and nothing else. I even wondered how people traveled before GPS. They were stuck with ill folding maps, I guess. Oh the horrors. No wonder I stayed lost in Atlanta all those years ago.

On the way home, I typed in my address and off I went. I was good, except it was raining cats and dogs. I got my coffee, turned the windshield wipers on high and clutched my phone. I kept thinking I would get to the interstate soon, but after an hour, I realized I wasn't anywhere near an interstate. I was on a two lane road in the middle of nowhere. I had no choice except to trust my phone, but I really didn't want to. I thought my phone and I were both lost. I kept driving, becoming more and more uneasy, but I plodded on, through the pouring rain.

Finally, in literally a split second, I saw out of the corner of my eye one of those little signs that said, "I-20 this way." I breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed a little. I still thought surely there could have been a better way to go, since I had been driving FOREVER. In the rain. On a two lane road. And I needed a nice, clean, safe restroom. (Large coffee, remember...) Finally, there it was, I-20. I was home free.

I found my rest stop, and I was so blessed to see that the average age of the guests at the rest stop was 90. I love old people. I wanted to stop and find out where each of them were going. Or coming from. As I was almost skipping out of the rest area, a truck driver coming up the walk and I exchanged pleasantries. He added over his shoulder as he walked off, "Be careful out there. I can't tell you how many people I've seen run off the road this morning..." My confidence imploded all over my good mood. I slunk back behind the wheel and sat there for a second, fighting some panic that was creeping back in. I took a deep breath and started the car, trying to put out of my head what the nice man had said. Breathe in, breathe out... I was vunerable again, and alone on the road. Except now danger lurked.

I was headed straight for church and I started thinking the best way to get there. I was going over all the possibilities when I saw this ginormous store that sits right by the interstate. Right by that store was a back road that led to church. I had gone that way with my sister over a year ago, but I couldn't really remember exactly how to get to the church. I pulled over at a gas station, typed in the church's address and was there in 10 minutes. Shaved 45 minutes off my commute. Awesome. I was home safely.

So why did I type all that out, other than so you can be impressed with my ability to type in addresses to a GPS and follow directions?

It hit me, as I drove along so carefully following my directions, and here is where is gets really bad, that I didn't treat God's Word like I treated my GPS. The only way to get where I'm going is to follow God's Word, clinging to it, devouring it, meditating on it and begging God for wisdom from it.

I rely on everything else to get me through life-my own limited knowledge, opinions and advice from others, books, people who know more than me (and there's tons of those) and just about everything else in life. What God was asking me is when I'm going to get as desperate for His Word as I was for my phone in a strange place? My phone was the only thing that kept me found and safe. Hello? Cheesy illustration time. Draw all the parallels so we can get this over with.

Just as I was doubting my phone's ability to guide, I doubt God's Word. It doesn't apply, there aren't enough answers, blah, blah, whatever. Just as I glimpsed that tiny sign reassuring me that I was going the right way, God is asking me to turn those things I rely on more than His Word into those tiny, tangible, reassuring signs and still keep my focus on Him.

I read last night about how much of the Bible people read in a day. One guy read 15 chapters a day, fully reading the Bible once a quarter. Oh that got me. I'm studying my way through the Bible, but I don't just pick it up and read it like a book. Maybe that's why I'm feeling so convicted?

Eh, it was revolutionary, and I don't think I'm fully getting across here how deep it was. Maybe that's what happened to all those preachers. It all got lost in the translation.

Two things I have to stop saying...

God is taking me to some pretty crazy places in my life. That's so surprise, I guess. I've blogged about maybe 1/100th of that He's doing, and that's about all He'll let me share for the time being. Let's just say that I'm struggling under the weight of what He's handing me. That's no surprise, either, knowing me.

As I've struggled, I've failed quite a bit. No surprise there either, to me. I've flung myself between the two extremes of absorbing God's mercy and feeling totally useless-a failure. I know what God is calling me to do, and I see where I fail. I can see where my disobedience prevents me from moving ahead with God's plan. I know that God is patient with me, but I also know that He's serious about what He's called me to- My obligations that are impossible to circumvent as a child of God. Things that are completely and utterly unavoidable. Things He demands of me. Things that are required of all believers and things that He's asking specifically of me.

And you know what verse I found myself quoting, both to myself and out loud? Romans 8:1.

"Therefore there is now no condemnation for those that love God."

That's a great verse to quote when you feel like you're failing at something. Right?

Well, the sweet Holy Spirit whispered to me one day that I wasn't exactly quoting that verse correctly. Just like with the "where two or more are gathered in His name" verse, I had been using Romans 8:1 to suit my own purposes. Excusing my failures with a quick, "Well Romans 8:1 says I'm not condemned because of my sin."

Duh. I can almost hear the Holy Spirit rolling His eyes. Why is He so patient with me? He asked me to take that verse apart. Word by word. Why does it start out with "Therefore"? Oh, because Paul writes Romans 1-7, and then says, "Okay, now that you have all that, take this into consideration." Opps, yeah. I haven't read Romans 1-7 in awhile. I'm studying the Old Testament, remember? It's like coming in on the middle of a conversation. I was just jumping into the middle of a book and grabbing out a verse that made me feel better. Huh.

Then there's the whole "condemnation" part of the verse. What does it mean to be condemned? The Greek word, because I love this geeky stuff so very much, is κατάκριμα, which means to give judgement against. In other words, I'm not condemned because God saved me from my sins through a trip to the cross. I know I'm not condemned for my sins. I knew that the moment I received Christ and believed in and put my faith in the Gospel.

So what I was telling myself that I wasn't really held accountable for my sins, when what that verse actually means is that I'm not going to hell for my sins.

The Holy Spirit very plainly told me that Jesus didn't die on the cross so I could quote Romans 8:1. He died on the cross so that I could be absolved from my sins that I repented from. But God wants me to take my sin very seriously. God wants me to weep over my sin, because it was that sin that put Jesus on the cross in the first place. He wants me to stop offering Him excuses for the ways that I fail to obey Him and His Word. And there WILL be a day of judgement where I will have to answer for words I've spoken, and I feel quite sure for some other ways I've grieved the Holy Spirit.

The things I'm learning are hard, difficult and not in any way comfortable. But the irony is, that following Romans 8:1 is a beautiful chapter, my second favorite to Isaiah 40, full of encouragement and hope. If I read Romans 8:2-39 more often, I wouldn't feel the need to misquote Romans 8:1.

So not condemned, but accountable. Forgiven, but accountable. Given much and required much of.

Which leads me to the next thing I have to stop saying.

"It's all about balance."

This is my other cop-out for ways that I fail God. I read His Word, hear His voice and then think, "Well, it's really all about balance."

Really?

God challenged me to show Him where in the Word He ordered me to live a balanced life. And who else lived a balanced life? Did Jesus? Paul? The disciples? No. They didn't. And I wanted to find someone who kinda struck a balance. So God asked me what striking a balance looked like.

So I thought balance looked something like not going to far one way or another. Just staying right in the middle. The comfortable middle. You know, not being a fanatic and not being apathetic. Balancing His word with my modern outlook on things. Applying the Word to my American way of living and doing things.

Oh wait. Huh. That's not what being balanced it. Let me try that again.

Being balanced is just using common sense when you're trying to figure something out. That's better. Not going off the deep end. You know, not scaring people with your craziness.

But the more I read the Bible, in it Jesus just tells me how to live. It doesn't match up with what the world thinks is normal, and it certainly wouldn't make any sense to them. And you know what? It's not balanced. At all.

It's all out, sold out, non compromising, non apologetic, pure devotion to the sovereign Lord who wants to be the only thing I'm passionate about in my whole life. He tells me over and over again to obey and love Him with my WHOLE heart. Not a balanced part of my heart. Not a rational part of my heart. With reckless abandon. Flinging my self whole hearted into God's will for my life with no hesitation and no compromise.

Is it easy? Probably is for some. Not for me. I hesitate at every turn, second guessing myself and God too. I'm working through that. I don't have this part all figured out yet, but I do know that God has not called me to be balanced in any area of my life that concerns Him. And if I was true to that, it would probably take care of the areas in my life that are balanced that don't need to be.

And the cliche verse that keeps ringing in my head is in Revelations 3:

I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot; I wish that you were cold or hot.

So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth.

Maybe being lukewarm isn't the same as being balanced, but God has been using this verse as a warning in my head anyway.

So now my prayer is to make me grievous over my sin and keep me from being balanced. Not two very easy things for me to pray. My flesh screams at them, actually. Thanks be to God who is going a great work in me. ~ I pray He keeps at it, with all that loving grace and patience. And with the harsh, harsh reality that He has called me to.

Veteran's Day

We were very excited about the Veteran's Day Parade. We headed down to McWane to park in their deck and see the parade from there. We also got to play a bit before the parade started. We were excited to check out this turtle up close, since we had learned about them in school that week.

I love their little profiles on the wall. They remind me of those old profile pictures people used to do when I was a little girl...

We found a new thing that Zane is afraid of.... horses.

See? He's hiding behind mama....

Whew! It was a long parade (2 hours) but it was wonderful. It was a day of remembrance and thanks for me. There are so very many things I dislike about our country, but those who have and will continue to fight on behalf of our country are such heroes to me, and I am truly indebted to them for their service.

I was also missing my sweet friend Michelle who is in the middle of yet another move with her military family. What these families sacrifice and the lives they lead are truly awe inspiring. I pray for them all so very much.

Our Fabulous, Full of Fun, Fall Week Celebration!

Oh, I just love fall! It's my favorite. I was so ready to celebrate the season with my kids. We decided to do all the things we love to do, but haven't done in a long time. Or ever.

We started the week of at the McWane Center with friends. We had let our membership lapse, and we hadn't been in a long time. The kids really had fun, and we actually learned stuff too. They got to watch the fish being fed, pet sting rays and (tiny) sharks, learn about liquid nitrogen, and some other random stuff. And we had some plain old fun too...

My "dream" job. Weather girl. Person. Meteorologist.

All of our hands. Awwwww...

This was huge. McWane has a hurricane simulator, and my kids were all afraid to get in it last year. This year? Only Zane was afraid. And we'll let that slide, since he's only 3 ;)

Yay, Laney!!!!!

Okay, this is so sad, but with these crazy peg board thingies, Laney and I went around to all of them and made all the pegs go the same way. You know, smoothed all of them out. It was a really quiet day at McWane, and so we were able to get all the boards all smoothed out. Except for one problem. Zane. You can see how he thwarted our efforts. Oh well, at least it was cute. Can you imagine having that many Zanes? Wow...

Our next stop was Aldridge Gardens, which I had never been to. Laney and Jude had been with my Mom, but it was new to Zane and me. The trees were just stunningly beautiful. I couldn't stop taking pictures of them.

The yellow against the blue sky was just breathtaking. It didn't photograph well, because the photographer still has no idea what's she's doing yet with her camera, still, but I still can see the real beauty in my mind...

Laney decided Camilla's are her new favorite flower.

This is one of my most favorite pictures.

The water was icy and wonderful.

Our next stop was the Birmingham Zoo, which we had also not been to in a very long time. We were so lucky with the tigers this day. We literally stayed here and looked at this beautiful guy for the longest time. He was amazing, even sleeping.

His eyes were just captivating. My favorite stone has always been Tiger's Eye, and I couldn't help but think of that when I was looking at his eyes. They were gorgeous.

Our biggest treat of the day was how close we got to this beast. I mean, literally inches, separated by that one piece of glass. It made my heart beat quickly.

It's hard to see in this picture, but he was actually leaving slobber on the glass as he was pacing by. It was crazy. And a little scary.

Crazy scary.

This is my screen saver right now. I love the crayon version.

And we rounded out the week with Halloween, but those pictures are elsewhere. This will hopefully remind me to do a Halloween post later. The kids love looking back at past Halloweens and seeing what they wore and how much they've changed. That will have to be the next post!

That pretty much wraps up our amazing week. I am always so thankful and humbled by this season for some reason. I think my tiny corner of Heaven might just been decorated in Fall. I hope so, anyway... ;)