A new day

I tumbled from the bed wiping sleep from my eyes and smoothing my hair from my face. I fumbled for my glasses and phone, which had offensively woken me with a start. My body wasn't ready to start the day. 

As soon as my feet hit the floor, my brain began to spin. All the things that needed to be done flooded into my mind, like a dam had burst. As the thoughts raced around and around, I gripped a coffee cup and poured into it what I hoped would kick start some sanity.

I opened my Bible, asking the Lord to show and teach through His Word. He was faithful even though my brain fought back with fierce competition - the to do list and offending thoughts battled for my attention.

It was frustrating.

My walk was filled with desperate prayer, complicated thoughts and deep wrestling. Not entirely restful. My body refused to run. In fact I had to push it to even walk at a quick pace. The dog pulled and tugged against her leash. She too wanted to push back this morning. 

I stepped back into the dark warmth of the house, deep in thought over something I was reading on my phone as I walked. I collasped onto the kitchen floor as I tried to process the thoughts that seeped into my already over flowing brain.

As I looked up from my spot on the floor, I heard the phone ringing as I saw a dirty kitchen floor and cabinets in desperate of a good wipe down. 

I sighed deeply.

Around the corner came my middle son. He spoke no words as he saw me on the floor and quietly curled into my lap. I rested my face on his head and breathed. He said in his quite voice, "I love you." 

I closed my eyes to ignore the dirt and waited for the phone to stop ringing. I snuggled him a little closer and said, "I love you too."

I think as a mom, so much of the time I stress myself out. My to do list seems self made, at least in part. I must go to the grocery store today. Must get the suit from the cleaners, work on tax returns, and vacuum the living room...

The list spins on and on. The phone rings and suddenly I have more added to my list for today. More I have to do...

But really? Do I?

What do I have to do today? 

Help me, Lord, see the important, the most important, and just do that. I don't enjoy being overwhelmed and stressed. And I'm quiet sure this doesn't please Him. 

What I don't get done today will wait until tomorrow. And if I have to stay up late and work into the night, then there will be more quiet opportunity to spend time with Him. Right? Even if time is spent working, worship music playing softly will allow my spirit to worship Him even as the rest of me labors more. Right?

I'm desperate to be busy yet glorifying. 

I'm anxious to be productive yet pleasing.

I want to do only what is meant for me to do. 

And I'm asking for the little extra measure of grace that allows me to blog from the overflow of my day while I take a break from school to make lunch.

And to breathe while telling my brain that I'm really not overwhelmed even thought the rest of me might say otherwise.

My mailbox

 

I know that we need to paint the mail box, but I don't want to. I love that it's Africa. I take it as a sign...

and it makes me smile.

Why?

Bizarre

I don't go to iTunes much, but I did today to purchase a song. I've never noticed their "Recommended for You" section. I did today, though.

I was puzzled a bit by their recommendations for me: 

Willie Nelson "On the Road Again" and Santana's "Black Magic Woman"?

(There is no reason at all for that picture, since it's unreadable, but I worked hard to get it there, so I'm leaving it.)

Ah, iTunes, you don't know me at all. There were a couple of songs I might have liked on there, but that's it. 

On a completely unrelated note, I'm considering buying Amos Lee's new album with my (hub's) iTunes gift cards. He doesn't seem to notice when I take the Starbucks or the iTunes gift cards. Merry Christmas to me!

"Stop messing with my summer fun..."

This was the response I typed in response to my husband's request that I do some bookkeeping:

"Please stop messing with my summer fun by making me do work..."

That's kind of how I approach all vacations. I don't want to do anything at all. I don't want to cook, clean, do laundry, get up on time, go to bed on time, exercise, eat correctly, study the Bible, or do any sort of business dealings. I just want to play.

And then I end up feeling just gross.

So I'm trying to head it all off this year and act like some sort of real grown up. How do I do that? By a schedule, of course. Everything can be fixed with a list and/or a schedule.

Now I might want to interrupt and say this is one of those posts that's just for me, really. But if you're bored, feel free to keep reading...

So I'm here to say that I'm still going to get up at 5:30, unless I happen to align the planets and get to have some girlfriend time one night. And I may have to Tweet some super annoying early morning Tweets to keep myself accountable. I am still going to have my hour of exercise at 6:30, because dangit, if I can go out in the dead of winter when it's in the 20's, I can get out there in the summer. I'd much rather go when it's 20 degrees, though. And if I have any chance of being outside exercising in the summer, 6:30 is probably the only time I'll make it without dropping dead.

I'm also going to revisit Jillian Michael's "30 Day Shred." I love to hate her, and I'm going to stick that workout in for the late afternoon. Oddly enough my kids like to do it. They are weird little suckers. Anyway...

I am also going to schedule our family worship time for 9 am. It was easy to do it during school, because we just did it before we started school. But now with no school, I don't want to let that go. It's too important. And I don't want the kids to equate Bible study with school. So that is my plan there.

And if you want a good family worship plan, go here:

http://www.radicalexperiment.org/

Scroll down to where it says, "Family Worship." You'll be blessed, and your kids will learn. I promise.

I also am making a rule that for now, NO toys come down the stairs. I just cannot keep up with the mess, and I'm going to try and see if this is help some.

I'm also having to stick with some pretty strict media rules. Normally the kids can watch one show in the morning before school while I'm out exercising, and then the television goes off until it's time for me to cook dinner. The kids can't play video games until the weekend, and no computer time for Laney until the weekend either. Now that it's summer, I do want to relax those rules a little, but still keep them away from all that stuff. I'm trying to work that out.

I myself have some big projects to do before school starts back. Here they are:

• clean out the garage
  
• clean and beautify the back yard
• steam clean the carpets in the house
• purge my scrapbooking supplies and organize our school section
• transfer this blog over to Tumblr (*shiver* This one must be done, but scares me to death)
  

I also want to be disciplined about my housekeeping this summer too. Right now, it's a joke. Allen joked that he was about to fire the maid. (I think my cuteness was the only reason he said he was keeping me. He's forbidden from using that horrid "hott" word, on a completely unrelated note. I h.a.t.e. that word, just for the record...) And he was kidding, by the way, but honestly I can't remember a time where the house was this much of a mess. So what I'm proposing to myself (!) is that we stay at home until after lunch every day to give me time to deep clean this house. Then, hopefully, after school starts back, it will be easier to maintain. And I am going to be harder on the kids about keeping their stuff picked up.

The last thing I need to work on is letting go of my disappointments over last school year. I really didn't bust it like I have in other years. My kids learned, no doubt, thanks to God and my amazing curriculum. But I really struggled with the weight of home schooling this year. I don't think I realized how heavy that weight was until it was lifted. I know without a doubt that I am called to do this, and that Christ will enable me to do this job. I just think that I need to be harder on myself and push through when it's hard more than I did last year.

Or something like that. I also have to let that disappointment go. It's all good. They learned. I taught. We spent all day, every day together. God is good. :)

So there is my summer plan. Oddly enough, we'll start school back on July 6th, so we're only talking 5 weeks off. But that's okay. I think we'll all be ready to start back then *crossing fingers* I'm praying we are, anyway...

"How to Change Your Mind" - Hilarious

Or is it?


How To Change Your Mind...

When I'm wrong...

I say I'm wrong. I'm all too ready to be corrected. I get lost in how much I don't know, and I also stress about how to learn as much as I can as quickly as I can. That's probably another post...


So a few weeks ago I wrote this:


I've thought a lot about Jesus in the garden too. He didn't want to go through with it. He asked for the cup to pass from Him. I think that it was the separation from God that was the thing he feared the most. The wrath from God for the sin He carried. I wonder, though, if the physical agony he knew He was going to endure made him fearful before hand. I mean he was fully man, and fully God. Did the man part fear the physical part of the process He was going to go through?

I'm sure it's no coincidence that in the last two weeks, I've heard two different sermons that had my correction in them. Basically what the truth is that Jesus didn't fear the physical aspect of his beating, torture and crucifixion at all. There have been scores of people who went to a horrific death in the name of Christ and went bravely, rejoicing all the way. Christ was and is certainly braver and less afraid of earthly afflictions than humans. It was simply the separation and wrath from God that He was fearing. There's more, but I'm not sure I would do it justice anyway. You get the point.

So there you go. I am sure I was wanting to justify my fear of a gruesome death by wondering in Christ did the same. He didn't. And I'm sure that is reason for mediating on this subject some more. I'm also sure that God will give grace in that time of need. Doesn't do a lot of good to wonder what it would be like to die like that, nor to wonder too much how I'd react. I'd die for Christ, and that's pretty much all I need to think about at this point.

This was total mush and mismash, but I needed to get it out. This is what happens when you Blog when you don't have a real brain yet. :)

Odessa

When Allen asked what I wanted for my birthday, I was stumped. I honestly couldn't think of anything. He decided to get me a bike, since I was the only family member without one. I was shocked at how expensive bikes are, so I got the cheapest non-geared bike I could find. (He didn't want me to go to my usual haunts to find a used one. Buying a used one usually costs more than a new one once you get it in working order, we heard. I'm not sure, but that's beside the point.)

I do love Odessa. I named her that after realizing that we should have named the Odyssey Odessa instead of Olivia. The kids chose Olivia, so that's okay. I loved the name Odessa, though, so I named my bike that. (The odd act of naming inanimate objects will have to be a later blog post.)

Allen took the kids fishing on Sunday (that's definitely a whole other blog post) at the park on Sunday, and he loaded up my bike for me for it's inaugural ride. It was weird riding a bike again. I didn't forget how to ride one, so the old saying is true. I did have to remember some of the finer points of riding a bike, though. For instance, you have to look more immediately where you are riding instead of far out like when you're driving. Hitting a few potholes taught me that right off the bat. And it's hard to let go to scratch your nose-the bike will get very wobbly if you ride with one hand on a trail. Then suddenly since I couldn't scratch my nose, I needed to constantly.

I rode up to this little cemetery and looked around for awhile too. I love doing that, although it's probably morbid to admit. I love reading the headstones-the names and dates. Wondering why the young ones died; praying for their families. I like to ponder death sometimes. It keeps things real and in perspective.

Good grief. From bikes to death? Sorry about that.

It was fun to ride. It was nice to go really fast and feel the wind whip around me. Not the same as a motorcycle, but good anyway. I'm not sure I did the right thing by not getting a geared bike, but I just couldn't justify the cost before knowing if this was something I'd really do much or not. I think mountain biking would be awesome. For now, I think Odessa and I will stick to the street, though. I do love her. I like feeling like a kid again!

Today

I was thankful to be able to go to the doctor. To have access to medical care. I keep thinking about the people in Haiti who wait, under tents, sick and hurting for care. I think of the doctors and nurses that are working tirelessly to try to treat them.

I heard, as I waited in the waiting room, Chris Tomlin's "How Great is our God," and I heard a lady who was leaving singing it on her way out.

That doesn't happen in a lot of other countries. Heck, it doesn't happened in some parts of THIS country.

I really think there is going to be a day when we can't be free with our beliefs. I think that persecution is coming.

Although I was aggravated that two sinus infections cost us $200 to treat, I am still thankful for the simple fact that we have doctors that we can go see when we need to. And I'm so thankful for a job that can pay those bills.

I think that about sums up my Facebook statuses and Twitter updates for the day. Just wanted to nail those down somewhere. Be a tangible thankful. Or something like that...

Lately

You know how when you drip a drop of paint into some water, and the color is so vivid and bright just for a few seconds? Then the color kind of blends into the water, slowly, and then you can't even see the color anymore?

I tried to take pictures to illustrate my point, but it was a small disaster. So I'm stuck with saying, "you know...?"

That's how my blog posts are in my brain. I get a big glop of a thought, an issue, an idea, and I just plop it on this blog, and then, with the weight of it off my mind, it just kinds of blends way into the other watery parts of my brain.

I like to blog when it's a big blob, because if I wait too long, I don't feel as passionately about it as I did before it got diluted. Sometimes I probably don't wait long enough, and the gloppiness is too evident. Maybe.

Here lately, though, instead of one big glop, my brain as been more like a rain puddle of little glops. Thoughts splash down on my brain and in my soul like little drops, coming so fast and so small that I can't grab hold of any of them long enough to sort through what's going on. The drops hit, then ripple into one another, and I'm left with sort of a rainbow throw up mish mash of all the colors of thoughts that haven't been processed.

You know, like how your kids think they are going to get a new magical, beautiful color when they mix all the colors in their paints together only to find out that what they end up with is a really gross brownish mess.

My brain feels like a gross brownish mess.

So it's been lots of praying and praise, trusting and waiting, loving and adoring. Maybe my brain works better this way. I'm certainly less theoretical this way. Less pondering. More floating and resting. Quiet. Still.

Enjoying all the seasons of my walk with Christ; Even the places we've never been before. Even when, all the while, I'm longing for the comfort of my overthinking.

Drawing a blank

My poor blog. It's lonely, cold and dark in here. (Much like this weather.) No thoughts wanting to be overthought, no words penned (or typed), no cute pictures, no thoughtful videos on this or that.

I was going to do a New Year's post, but looked up my last year's New Year's post and I had all the same "resolutions." Some I owned, some I totally lost out on. (Hello 15 pounds...)

I wanted to do a Christmas slide show, but I just haven't had time.

I wanted to do a "It was a great 2009" slide show, but I haven't had time for that either.

I had some thoughts spinning around in my head, but I'm thinking on the go these days, trying to juggle all that I seem to have to do every day.

How in the world do we have the same 24 hours a day that Martin Luther, C.S. Lewis, Michelangelo, Divinci, and even modern day inspirations like Piper and, okay, fine, I won't say his name (but you know who I'm thinking about...) had? They got SO much done. I can't even get my kitchen floor mopped.

And I don't squander the day away. Even Facebook and Twitter are checked from my phone as I stir oatmeal or as I sneak into the bathroom by myself. (There's a visual image for you)

I don't know if there's anything I can do at this point to lengthen by day, although I am going to start getting up 30 minutes earlier *choke* and just trust God to help me get extra sleep when I am sleeping!

Maybe I need prayer. There's a novel idea, folks. I need to get done everything I want/need to in a day. I've honestly good pretty good until I get the kids to bed. Then I seem to collapse into a heap on exhaustion. I want to use that quiet time to do something productive. Meaningful. Intentional.

I'm so incredibly, indescribably thankful for all that God did in my life last year. I can't tell you how far He brought me, and how far He's promised to take me this year. I'm trying to live in faith, not afraid of what this year will bring. It's a struggle, but the study on Abraham that He brought me this week has just blown me away. I'm so thankful and humbled that He cares enough about every single detail of my life, down to tying together all my studies so that I know, without a doubt, that He's orchestrating everything in my life to bring about good for His glory. So amazing.

These are my verses for this year: Job 23:10-14

But He knows the way that I take; when He has tried me, I shall come out as gold.

My foot has held fast to His steps; I have kept His way and have not turned aside.

I have not departed from the commandment of His lips; I have treasured the words of His mouth more than my portion of food.

But He is unchangeable and who can turn Him back? What He desires, that He does.

For He will complete what He appoints for me, and many such things are in His mind.

Make it so, Lord, PLEASE make it so...

I guess I did have a blog post in there after all! It was kinda like when you have water in your ear after swimming, and you jump up and down on one leg with your head to the side, hitting the opposite side of your head until the water comes out. I did that and this blog post poured out! And it was warm and a sweet release too! (just like that water finally coming out of your ear!) :P

Bummer

We love fall. Oh, it's my favorite. When I planned our school year, I planned a week long break the week before Halloween to just play. I wanted to go to the zoo, parks, hiking, just any fun thing that we could do outside. Then we would cap the week off with one of our favorite holidays, Halloween. I was SO excited!!!!

Then.

Not a huge deal, but I got sick on Sunday night. Just a cold. But you know, I really hate colds. You can't breathe, you have no energy and yet, it's just a cold, so you have to keep plodding along like you aren't sick. Because you aren't really sick. You just have a cold. Ugh.

Maybe I'm just Queen of the Wimps, but I can't do school when I have a cold like this. Our school, much like everyone's school, I'm sure, consists of 4 solid hours of talking, reading and discussing. I just can't do it when I might end up in a fit of coughing or worse yet, it HURTS to talk.

So, I had no choice (well, I did, but as the Queen of the Wimps, I didn't really) but to not do school this week.

But, so I wouldn't feel like the week was wasted, I decided to deep clean the upstairs, finish organizing the winter clothes, get the laundry done and get the downstairs clean. Ugh.

Warning: whining ahead.

So now our precious Fall Celebration Week has turned into a Clean Your House Week? Say it isn't so...

So here are my options. Take next week off too, and make up the week somewhere else. That wouldn't be too hard to do, since we have some other weeks scheduled off here and there. Or we can just slowly make up the week by doing an extra day a week until the week is made up. OR we can do school next week and just do our fun stuff in the afternoons. *sigh*

I am thankful that it's just a cold, with all the swine flu and such that is going around. I just feel like I'm wasting sick days on a silly old cold. Oh well...

So, I don't know what to do. Ideas? Anyone up for some fall fun next week? Maybe that will help me decide what to do!

Sorry for the whining. I'll try to not do it ever again!

This Lady Makes Me Laugh

http://thecreativejunkie.com/2009/09/15/kurt-cobain-is-alive-and-well-and-living-in-my-daughters-armpit/

Overthinkin' at the gym

A couple of weeks ago, on a Saturday, I awoke to a rainy morning. I love rainy days, so that was no problem. The one problem was that I've gotten kinda addicted to my morning walks. Now that Zane goes with me, yes GOES WITH ME, they aren't exactly the intimate walks with God that they used to be. Now it's kinda like my talking to God on the telephone with Zane constantly interrupting. That's okay, though, because I figure that's just where I am right now.

So after getting a little antsy about missing my walk, it occurred to me that maybe I should go to the Y to walk on the treadmill. I don't like treadmills, and honestly had only been on a treadmill one other time in my life. I figured that I'd give it a try given that I needed to get out of the house and this was a free thing I could do. Free was good. Exercise was good. How could I go wrong?

I poked in my head in and checked with Allen. He was cool with it, and I asked him again how to work the treadmill. See, I was a little nervous. He laughed and said, "Um, you kinda get on it and turn it on..." He saw the look on my face and assured me that I would be fine. I get really nervous about this sort of thing. The ultimate in silliness. What if I get in there and can't get the thing on and everybody is looking at me and I still can't figure it out? It's like being in 6th grade all over again!

So I headed out, only partly daunted, to the Y. On the way to the cardio room, I stopped by the bathroom. I stood, frozen, in the bathroom lobby, because it occurred to me that I could go into the "adult only" locker room. I stood there for a moment, relishing in the face that I could actually venture where I had never ventured before. I am sad to report that the adult locker room is MUCH nicer than the family one. Not that I can blame the Y. My kids are also on a continuous path of destruction, though mostly unintended, to cut a swatch through the world. So I figure the Y is only protecting some investment. I mean, they even had a massaging recliner in there. They were living in up in style over there. Oh well.

After exploring the bathroom further, it was time to go meet the beast. I entered the cardio room trepidatiously. I approached the last row of treadmills, which was empty, and cautiously stepped on. Sure enough, there was a huge ON/OFF button. So I pushed it. Easy enough. No need to flee in embarrassment. I got going a little to get warmed up. I got my music going. I increased my speed a little more and a little more. I got a little incline going. I was starting to get comfortable. I still had to clutch the handrails, convinced I was going to somehow fly off the back of the thing and smash into the mirrored wall behind me. But I was getting comfortable.

Then, it happened.

I realized that I have gym neurosis.

It should have been expected, really. I'm a weirdo. Why would I not be weird at the gym?

As I studied the two people walking in front of me, I realized I needed to see their speeds of how fast they were walking. I had to be sure I was walking faster than they were. Why? Who the heck knows? I also realized that I didn't want to walk on that row of treadmills, because I wouldn't want people looking at my butt while I was walking. Like they would. Then, even though I was the only person on my row, a nice man came and got on the treadmill right. next. to. me. UGH. So then I had to study his workout progress. I kept up with him until he started to run. Then I gave up on that. Oh but I that didn't keep me from trying to see/hear what was on his iPod.

Then, even though we were the only two on our row, another nice man came in an got on the treadmill right next to me on the other side. REALLY? Now I was a little annoyed. I felt a little claustrophobic. And I had another speed to keep up with. Luckily he was a runner and put me in the dirt very soon. So I was back to keeping ahead of the two other walkers in the room. I got a little worried about the amount of sweat falling on the various parts of the treadmill, but was tremendously relived to see that when you are done, you get one of this little antibiotic wipie things and you wipe down the top part of your treadmill. That made me feel so much better. I did wish that I had wiped mine off before I got on it, just in case the person before me didn't do such a great job.

I also got fascinated with this one girl who, when she ran, never ever put her heels down. She ran entirely on her tiptoes. I know this because I studied this for quiet a while. I was mesmerized. Then I wondered if I could ask her to put her heels down so I could stop looking at her feet and wondering about this. It wasn't like I had a whole lot else to do. Then I forced myself to stop thinking about that and move on. That can be done occasionally. And luckily she didn't run for very long. And how could you, when you're only running on your tiptoes?

There are lots of televisions on the wall, but without the earphones, you can't hear anything on them. That's really frustrating, although I'm not putting on those headphone thingies. The very nice people at the Y assured me that they disinfected them, but I'm not sure there's a level of disinfection that I'm comfortable with when it comes to copious amounts of sweat. I stayed obsessed with the workout numbers on my treadmill panel. There's way too much information for a person like me who loves numbers and measuring and all that stuff. I hate that you see how many calories you are burning. On one hand, it's nice because it's a great motivation to keep going. On the other hand, it's depressing how far and fast you have to go just to burn off one Cliff Bar you had with your coffee that morning.

So I turned my focus to my music. I started worshiping and praising God, just like in the mornings in the neighborhood. I'm quite sure my neighbors think I'm crazy, walking about, swinging my hands in the air and pumping my arms up and down. I guess I just look crazy, but I don't care much. I did care on the treadmill, although I did get a few clandestine hand raises in. That took me through the end of my workout.

I went back the next day, and found that I had to get on the exact same treadmill. We had a history, he and I. It was another good workout, and I was surprised how sore I was from the day before. I guess I get a much better workout on the treadmill that sauntering about my neighborhood. It was a great way to spend some alone time, and I do want to go back and do it again more regularly. I just don't want people to get on those treadmills right next to me. :)

r

Stinker

So when you buy Neopolitan ice cream {and by the way it's not Napoleon Ice Cream. I just always thought they named an ice cream after the famous history guy. Wow. Sometimes I amaze myself} you don't expect to find *THIS* when you open the carton. Evidently not everyone likes strawberry. After confronting the culprit, I was less than impressed by his lack of concern for his misdemenor. This is truly a major offense. No matter what someone says.

What the heck?

I've always loved going to thrift stores. We don't have time for me to list all the reasons why, but sometimes, it's just dang funny.

Approximately 15ish years ago, I was at a thrift store with my dear friend John. John was one of those guys who kept you laughing all. the. time. Especially me. I've gotten in trouble for laughing more in my life than I have for talking, if you can believe that. He had the uncanny way of saying something super funny, all while keeping a straight face. Then people would look at me, in a puddle of giggles and John so straight faced and think I was just crazy. Well, that's probably not the only reason why, but let's not linger there.

We have this guy to get to.

So John and I are at the thrift store, 15ish years ago, and we were laughing our way through it. He was several aisles over, when I spotted the strangest, weirdest thing. It was a super creepy headless statue. I picked it up, held it up high where John could see it, and I said, "What the heck do you suppose this thing's head looks like?"

He didn't miss a beat. From several aisles over, he bent over, and stood up and said, "THIS!" It was the even stranger head to the statue I was holding. We both just lost it. I sat down right there in the thrift store and laughed until I cried. What were the chances that he was standing right next to the head to my statue? Holy cow.

We decided we just had to have it. The cashier looked at us like we were mad, buying a broken, hideous statue. I think she even tried to give it to us, but I insisted on buying it.

We took it back to the restaurant we both worked at, and the whole wait staff thought it was hilarious. Somebody found some glue and we all glued its head back on. As we all stepped back to admire our handy work, John said, "It's probably some voodoo horror doll, and the only way to break the spell was to break its head off. And here we've reattached the head. Some native somewhere is in a lot of pain..."

I loved this little guy so much. He traveled to all my homes with me, and he never ceased to be a topic of conversation, as you can imagine. People would say, "What the heck is that?"

I do wonder who made this and WHY? Oh the questions...

So when I was cleaning out the laundry room the other day, I came across my friend, stashed away and forgotten. His head had come off again, to the relief of some native far away. Seeing him again made me laugh so hard, so I dusted him off, reattached his head, and sat him in my kitchen. Some poor native is, well, you know...


I kind of like him there...

The funniest darn thing I've seen in a LONG time

Mom Jeans. That's all that needs to be said.

http://www.graspingforobjectivity.com/2009/03/mom-jeans-and-dreaded-long-butt.html

Finally, a sunscreen

Well, that's a tiny picture.Oh well. You get the point. The point is, that I think I've found a sunscreen that's gonna work for us.

Sunscreens are FULL of chemicals that are, well most succinctly, harmful, to say the least. I have used several organic brands, but I'm just not happy with the results. I knew that titanium dioxide was the best route to go, since it provides a physical barrier to the sun. So this brand was the most recommended and had the fewest ingredients.

The very sad thing is that if we ate the way we were created to, we wouldn't even NEED sunscreen. Can you believe that? If we ate all the fruits and vegetables that we needed, especially the dark, leafy green veggies that we need, we wouldn't tan in a harmful way. We wouldn't get harmful sun exposure. Wild, huh?

I'm eating a LOT more raw spinach-every day, matter of fact. But it's not nearly enough to protect me from sun damage.

And GET THIS. I have those little age spots already popping up on my hands. Even seen me slather my kids down in sunscreen? Even giggled at them in their hats and sunglasses? Well, the same wasn't done for me. And I'm already reaping the benefits of that. Not that I'm bitter, because I'm really not. Just trying to do better with my kids.

But seriously. AGE SPOTS???? WAAAAAAAA.....

Old age, here I come. I don't gather that I'm going to go gracefully into that great night. Looks like I'm going kicking and screaming...

My word. I seem to have gotten a little off track here. Anyway, the cheapest place I found to buy this Badger, and the lip balm, is at http://www.luckyvitamin.com/brandListing?keyword=spf&filter=Y&path=nf1312||35383537&vendorKey=5857&gclid=COiG-7qvlJoCFQE0xgodsD1YMQ

The prices are good, the shipping is $6ish and we'll see how the shipping time goes. I doubt that it will push me from my beloved Iherb.com, but they don't offer the Badger. Yet. I'm gonna email them and ask them to carry it!

So, I'll let you know how it works out!

It's the Most Wonderful Time...

My sweet blog has once again decided to space itself, so I do apologize. It's wonky and making me crazy, but I'm giving in. Hope you can read it anyway.

First of all, I have to say that this picture is totally cracking me up. I had literally been running around in the rain all day, and I didn't realize I looked as tired as I felt. http://whatiwore2day.blogspot.com/ has spoiled me from posing in any normal way. So that pretty much explains the picture. Kind of...

So anyway, the weekend after my birthday is usually the first garage sale weekend kick off. And boy was it. The boys stayed with Allen, to play video games until their brains leaked out of their ears, and Laney and I took off for some sweet girl time.

I just love garage sales. That's pretty well known, and obvious to boot. But here's the reasons why.

I've been dreaming of these books by Warren Weirsbe for a long time. Oak Mountain Presbyterian had a church wide garage sale to benefit adoption, and we hit that first. I got the whole set of books, and they were 25 cents each. I was so happy! They are books for each book of the Bible. I grabbed up the book on Ruth/Esther to read first, since we are already studying Esther, and it is so good! I was such a happy camper.

Laney and I found more great treasures at that sale, and we were just tickled! Laney's favorite was a Hello Kitty digital clock for her room. I love coming downstairs in the morning, and saying, "Hey sweetie, when did you get up?" and her saying, "At 7:24." Hilarious!

So we found a neighborhood garage sale on 119, and those are my absolute favorite. You can park your car and just walk from sale to sale. This one house is going down in garage sale history.

So as I walked up to the garage sale, I heard the lady say, "Well, that's $3, but I'll take less. Just make an offer. I'm willing to negotiate..." which was good to hear. I'm not good at wheeling and dealing at garage sales, really. I figure it's already cheap already, so if I don't want to pay what they have on it, I need to just move along. But, occasionally, especially if I'm buying a whole bunch of stuff, I'll ask someone, so politely and timidly, if they'd take less for something, half expecting them to say "no." But, since she threw it out there, I figured, "Why not?"

So there was this dress. Not a dress that I would normally be in the market for, but cool and interesting enough to get my attention. I have a 20 year high school reunion coming up next summer (excuse me while I fall into a dead faint) and I thought, "Ohhhh, this might be cool..." It was $5, which was more than I'd pay for a dress that I might wear one day. I guess this is a good time to tell you that it's a size (FINE, several sizes) smaller than I wear now. But, since I so desperately want to lose weight, I thought, "Why not get this super cool dress to wear, and have it like something to work towards?" Not that I have a closet full of clothes that I am "working towards" but I feel myself drifting from the whole point of this now too long story.

SO, I go up to the nice lady, and say, "Would you mind taking $3 for this?" since, mind you, she had JUST said she was taking less for everything. (This was late in the morning-close to the time that prices do start to be sliced. The thought of the items marching off to the Hannah Home tend to make people take whatever you're willing to give them for what they don't to donate for free...) I totally expected her to say, "Sure" and us be done.

But, she wrinkled up her nose, looked at the dress and heaved a *huge* sigh. I was slightly surprised, but decided to see where this was going. She said, "You know, this dress is from Cache." Yep, lady, I saw that. I can read. I guess she's mourning the fact that she and her daughter, I guess, went to the Galleria and into the kinda swanky store Cache and bought this sorta fancy dress. "It was EIGHTY DOLLARS, you know..." she went on. At this point, an old phrase that my dad used to say went flying through my head. It's not nice, lemme tell you, and there are some things from my childhood that I squelch down and some come bubbling when I least expect it.



So she says, "It was EIGHTY DOLLARS" and I thought, "Well, that sounds like a personal problem to me." Thanks, Dad. That phrase comes in handy SO OFTEN. Anyway, I pulled together a sympathetic look and waited for her to go on.

And here is the kicker.

She looks at me head to toe, wrinkles up that nose and SAYS, "Will it even fit you?"

Let's pause while you take that in.

I pulled myself up to all 5 feet and 4 and 1/4 inches of myself and said, "Well, not yet. But it will." And I looked her square in the eye. It wasn't about the $3 anymore. I was m.a.d.

She huffily took my $3, and I took that dang dress. I was close to the van before it was funny. I was home before it was really funny. I told Allen my story, and his eyes got big. He's normally a very, "Eh, what's the big deal?" kinda guy, but he was like, "Wow!" Then, I squirmed my way into that too-small dress and we laughed so hard I was crying. He said, "I can just see you going to your reunion just like that..." and we laughed even harder. Oh me. I don't know if I'll be in this dress by then, but I have two super skinny sisters that might want a really cool, super expensive dress from Cache. Oh me.

And it ain't over yet. I go down to the next house (yes, I was undeterred, the garage sale warrior that I am) and it was these very nice Asian ladies who had the garage sale. Well, they had great stuff, and I could immediately tell I had hit the jack pot. I quickly scooped up things for Laney, and then headed to the adult section. I bought tons of stuff for me, which made me so very happy. Most all of it was $1 each. So the outfit in the first picture, including that purse I love so much, was $3. Well, the shoes were new, from Target. They were $30, I think, so my outfit was $33. The sweater was the super soft, black fuzzy material. When I went to wash it, I died laughing, because the tag was in Chinese. Yep. Evidently that nice Asian lady brought all her clothes to America from China, or ordered them from China while she was here, and all the tags are written in Chinese. Oh well. Most of the stuff didn't fit, which is okay too. I put them in the Cache dress pile. Hopefully I'll be in them soon.

So, it was a great first day of garage sale season, and I was such a happy camper. Until...

I was watching the Today Show, and this frugal guy was on there, who touts himself as America's cheapest man. Fine for him. I'm pretty cheap too. But he said something that made me think. He said that Americans are obsessed with getting stuff for cheap, when what we should be obsessed with is NOT getting stuff at all.

Thanks, dude, for taking the wind out of my sails. So I had fun, got some new threads, but he reminded me that cheap stuff isn't necessary stuff. It's still stuff that I'm going to have to get rid of someday. So I'm still garage saleing with my list firmly in mind. Things that I NEED. Really. Truely. Not just more junk to junk up my life.

And hopefully I'll post a picture next summer of me, in my $80 Cache dress, at my reunion. And I'll never forget that darn dress. :)

Amy is...

Since I have Facebook on the brain, I'm extending my status updates to my life updates. No, not life updates. This is just how my brain is working today:

Amy is...

Listening to one song over and over again all day long. And pondering the meaning of it. And letting the music take me back to days in my life when I got to go see live music, which is where part of my soul still rests. I need music, and I need a certain amount of live music. I love to get lost in it, feel it swirl around me. I find myself needing more and more to get back to the essense of me. Get back to the parts of me that have been pushed aside for so, so long. And I desperately want a voice that would let me be a back up singer. My dream, absolute dream job.

Killing herself cleaning this house, and honestly mad at God that He's calling me to a higher level here. ME-one of the few people I know that actually *like* to clean house, being pushed harder in this area of my life. What the heck?

Pondering theology. Restless and bucking against the time restraints on my study time. Wondering how in the world I've missed some basic, fundamental tenants of my belief system. Wondering why in the world God puts up with me.

Pondering this quote by one of my favorite authors, Ernest Hemmingway, from "A Farewell to Arms:"
"The world breaks everyone, and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry."

So excited about this new Beth Moore study. I've prayed blessings over her all day, after watching the introductory video last night. I've missed having Beth in my life, and I'm so blessed and amazed by her. I'm super excited about this study, and thinking about what I've learned so far.

Danced while making dinner. It felt good. I danced while I cleaned the bathroom too. I've danced as much as possible today. I miss dancing too...

Actually fantasized about running today. Granted I was cleaning the shower, which is the job I so vehemently despise as far as housework goes, but still. I felt the stress of the day, of my life, and I just wanted to throw down that scrubbie, tear off the yellow rubber gloves and go run and run and run. I still do...

Praying for the sick, the hurt, the needy and all the people that keep ringing in my head that need God so desperately right now.

Is fully aware that she had not finished the Psalm 23 homework. *sigh*

Is trepidatous about finalizing the joining process for church on Sunday. It's just because I'm a freak.

Is super emotional right now, and ready to be done with that.

Has no desire in the whole world to watch television tonight. I just want to exercise and study. My goodness, I think God just may have done a work here...

Super proud of how hard her kids worked today. Over and beyond what I even knew they were capable of. I'm so proud, especially since they cleaned up messes THEY made...

There. I feel a little better. Why in the world that blogging helps calm my brain down, I'll never know...