Blast from the past

I was picking up the living room yesterday, and this picture was just laying in the middle of the floor. Zane loves to empty the bookshelf, and it must have been in there. I was four years old, and that's one of my Granddaddy and Grandmama's dog Sam's Saint Bernard puppies. Check out those rockin' red shoes! I love red shoes to this day!!! August 1974~

Randomness

We had a good dinner tonight. I bought Drew's All Natural Thai Sesame Lime dressing at Publix. I put 4 of the fabulous, amazing Costco chicken breasts in the Crock Pot, and poured half of the dressing in, and cooked them on low for 5 hours. I made brown rice, and put chicken on top and poured some cooked dressing on top, and it was SO GOOD! I made this to go with the chicken, and even the kids ate it.

http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Baked-Asparagus-with-Balsamic-Butter-Sauce/Detail.aspx

I love it when we find something new to eat!!!

I found this picture from the beach that I love...

Jude is growing up. He started going to the bathroom standing up, "Just like Daddy." He'll kill me in 13 years for sharing that tidbit of information, but I don't care. It's the cutest thing. He even remembers to put the seat down. I hope his future wife appreciates that. You should have heard Allen explaining WHY you have to put the seat back down. Precious.





Jude started praying out loud too. He never would, and we didn't push it. Well, Jamie told me at church that her whole class said a prayer out loud on Sunday (GO JAMIE!!!!) and so Jude asked to pray at dinner last night. I could barely contain my excitement. And he thanked God " for Publix and for chairs." I laughed and got teary at the same time. He asked to pray again at bedtime. Oh my heart just sings when my kids talk to God. There's nothing better!!!





Oh, and I love this too! I thought it would be a good stress reliever on "those" days:











And the bad news is that we loaded up to go to the new park that is FINALLY finished, and we all stood in the garage and looked out at the rain. But, that's GOOD NEWS too. It was RAINING!! Praise the Lord. So we went to the library instead, and they have a super cool new toy in the kid's section, so I sat and read for a little while as the kids played. And they also have new"Charlie and Lola" dvd's, 4 volumes to be exact, and we LOVE them. So Laney got one, and is watching it. I'm driving her crazy, walking around saying, "LoLAaaaa..." in my fake British accent. She actually has her fingers in her ears!!! See, it doesn't take much to make us happy!



And I can't bathe anyone, because it's lightening and thundering! Stinky babies going to bed without a bath. Thought it was an old wives tale???

"It's not absolutely safe although it is unlikely that you will be hit by lightning. Each year on average one person dies in the US whilst having a shower during a lightning storm, two people die using telephones.The cause is often inadequate or faulty safety protection which enables the current from the lightning strike to travel through metal plumbing.To be on the safe side it's wise to wait until the storm has passed before taking a shower, using a phone, swimming outdoors etc. " That's good enough for me!!! Any reason not to bathe people...:)

This is for Jackie!!!

I finally found a way to upload video to Jackie! Woo hoo! Oh and it works better if you pause the Loudfusion player first! :)

I'm Scrapping!!!

Holy cow, it feels so good to be scrap booking again. I made a fun little diddy for a friend this weekend, and that got my creative juices flowing again. I NEED to be creative, for my own well being. And, while we're at home, trying not to go anywhere and spend money, I need something to look forward to doing here!

I've revamped how I feel about scrap booking. I want it to be for ME, and not try to keep up with the current trends. Oddly enough, this can be a weird hobby. You can get caught up with the "latest and greatest" and spend yourself into a frenzy. I never got too caught up with that whole thing (I'm much too cheap) but I would compare my layouts with those online, or in magazines, and I would get stressed trying to have these great, creative masterpieces.... Yuck. My simple gift to my (not simple and VERY wonderful) friend was so fun, and easy. So I carried that into my projects that I did after that, and there was such a difference! Yea!!!

I'm so far behind, yes, that baby is Jude, that I'm not sure I'll ever catch up. But that's okay. It's now just a fun hobby for me, and it keeps me occupied and out of the thrift store (!) and that's a great thing!!!

And you know what? Laney will get out her baby scrap book, and pour over it. She asks me to read the journaling to her, and tell her stories about the pictures, and that makes it all worth it. I humor myself and see my sons' wives looking at them, and then their children. And after that? Well, they can dump them in the garbage if they want to. They will have served their purpose. No, I want them in the nursing home, with me, on second thought. I'd love nothing more than to spend my last days, remembering how great my life was and thanking God for all His blessings.

So here are my treasures. I'll post more, if that won't bore you. That will keep me motivated to "produce and publish" (*snicker*) and it's fun to share what you work hard on.

Pardon the dark, weird pictures. I'll have to work on that!

Holy guacamole

We had a ladies gathering at church on Sunday, and I made a 7 layer Mexican dip. I wanted to make home made guacamole to go with it, but I ran out of time.

So I had all the stuff to make it, and we were going to have quesadillas for dinner, so i thought I'd gave it a whirl.

OH MY GOODNESS! It was better than at the Mexican place. SO GOOD. I was trying to think of all the things I could eat guacamole on today. I think we are going to have quesadillas again tonight!!!

Here is the recipe: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Guacamole/Detail.aspx

And, my favorite quote from my message board is, "This thread is meaningless without pictures..." so that's why you get lots of pictures here. I love to take, and look at pictures. That could be the reason that you're looking at my dinner!!!

All for a chicken leg

I was going down the stairs with a huge load of laundry in my arms, and narrowly missed stepping on Laney's plastic chicken leg that was on the stairs. I could see, in my mind's eye, my slipping on that plastic chicken leg, from the KFC play set, and rolling and tumbling down the stairs, laundry flying all over the place. I saw myself striking my head on the table at the bottom of the stairs, and since I'm scared to teach my kids to use 9-1-1, for fear of friendly phone calls to the very cool firemen, I bled to death there amid the scattered laundry.

Can you see Allen at my funeral, telling people I died because I slipped on a plastic chicken leg??? How horrible would that be? He'd HAVE to lie, telling people I died pulling orphans out of a burning orphanage, or something like that. Or some other humanitarian effort... just not the chicken leg.

Ohhh I love these!

Feel free to copy and post on your blog. This was different than plenty I've done.





1. What kind of soap is in your bathtub right now? Dr. Bronner's Lavender bar soap


2. Do you have any watermelon in your refrigerator? Usually, but not right now.


3. Is there anything moldy in your refrigerator? No.


4. Are there any dirty dishes in your sink? Yes


5. What would you change about your living room? Smaller television


6. Are the dishes in your dishwasher clean or dirty? Clean


7. Do you have a can of mushrooms in your pantry? No


8. White or wheat bread? 100% wheat.


9. What is on top of your refrigerator? All kids of stuff that needs to stay out of little hands.


10. What color is your sofa? Dark green mulit color print.


11. What color or design is on your shower curtain? Tan with gray roses.


12. How many plants are in your home? 1-the rest are outside dying. Need to bring those in.


13. How many candles are in your home? Only a couple. Jackie made me some for my birthday, and then 2 other hand made ones, I think.


14. Is your bed made right now? No, I'm in it.


15. If you have a coffee pot, what color is it? Black


16. Electric or standard can opener? Standard


17. Theme in your living room? Kinda comfy, with a few tiny Europen touches.


18. Colors in the bedroom? They change seasonally, but now, white and rose, sage and cream. Very Summery.


19. Colors of your bathroom? One is all white, the other is gray and tan.


20. Comet or Soft Scrub? Baking soda.


21. Is your closet organized? It wants to be and tries to be.


22. What color is the flashlight that you use the most? I can't use any because the kids love them too much and the batteries are always dead from them forgetting to turn them off.


23. What kinds of things are in your junk drawer? Screws, clothespins, tape measure, sissors, etc.


24. Do you drink out of glass or plastic most of the time at home? Never plastic, only glass.


25. Do you have iced tea made in a pitcher right now? Yep. Well, it's green tea. Does that count?


26. If you have a garage, is it cluttered? Yes, for the moment.


27. Curtains or blinds? Curtains. I hate blinds.


28. How many pillows do you sleep with? One for now. And two boys. When it's back to just me, I'll probably use more.


29. Do you sleep with any lights on at night? No.


30. How many ceiling fans are in your home? 5.


31. How often do you vacuum? With Zane, needs to be every day. Mostly Monday, Wednesday and Friday.


32. Standard toothbrush or electric? Standard.


33. What color is your toothbrush? Blue and white.


34. Do you have a welcome mat on your front porch? Yes, but it says, "Life long, laugh hard..." and something else. I love it, though.


35. What is in your oven right now? My baking sheet


36. Is your microwave clean or dirty? Don't use one.


37. Is there anything under your bed? Yes, all of our packed up keepsake stuff.


38. Chore you hate doing the most? Cleaning the bathrooms.


39. What retro items are in your home? Some keepsakes, corded telephones, and our 10 year old television.


40. Do you have a separate room that you use as an office? Kinda. Our breakfast nook is our "office."


41. If you have a yard, who mows it? The amazing and talented Mr. Bryan Reed. Or his sweet little helper guys.


42. Is there anything on your kitchen floor right now? Yes. Crumbs, shoes, toys and who knows what else.


43. How many mirrors are in your home? 8. Wow that's a lot. I like them as decoration, and for reflection of light. I don't go around looking at myself all day. In fact, quite the opposite!!!


44. Do you have any hidden emergency money around your home? Bwahahahahah.


45. What color are your walls? Soft yellow, dark rose, light rust and khaki.


46. Which rooms in your house have wallpaper? None. I took care of that when we moved in.


47. Do you have a peephole in your front door? No. Windows on the side of the door.


48. Do you keep any kind of protection weapons in your home? Frying pan, fireplace poker, and my Dad's favorite, a baseball bat.


49. What does your home smell like right now? I can't smell, because I have a cold, but probably dinner and soap from bath time.


50. Fave candle scent? Gardenia, lavender, and what ever is soft and clean.


51. What kind of pickles (if any) are in your refrigerator right now? Dill.



52. IT'S COMING!


53. What color is your Bible? One is burgundy, and the others are multicolored.


54. Do you have plenty of cabinet space in your kitchen? Yes.


55. Do you own a stereo? No.


56. How many tvs do you have? 3-Living room, kitchen, and bedroom. There's one in Laney's room that doesn't work, and one shoved in our closet that we don't use.



57. How many house phones? Three



58. Do you have a housekeeper? This is she.



59. Do you like solid colors in furniture or prints? Um, both, I guess.



60. Is there a smoke detector in your home? Yes - a couple of them.



61. In case of fire, what are the items you would grab if you only could make one quick trip? Sentimental jewelry, scrapbooks, picture cds and video cds.



62. Do you know how to work your electrical box? Yes.



63. What temperature in your home is most comfortable to you? I like it COLD, but don't do that it the summer. It's 77 or 78 in the summer, but cooooold in the winter!

In the name of love

"There are two ways to be and truth does not depend on me." Kings X

Ex. 22:21 "Do not mistreat an alien or oppress him, for you (the Israelites) were aliens in Egypt."

Ex. 23:9 "Do not oppress an alien; you yourselves know who it feels to be aliens, because you were aliens in Egypt."

Lev. 19:33&34 "When an alien lives with you in your land, do not mistreat him. The aliens living with you must be treated as one of your native born. Love him as yourself, for you were aliens in Egypt. I am the Lord your God. "

I am scared of things that God repeats in scripture. Much less three-peats.

Duet. 10:17 "For the Lord your God is the God of gods and the Lord of lords, the great, the mighty, and the awesome God who does not show partiality..."

Romans 2:11 "For G0d shows no partiality [undue favor or unfairness; with Him one is is not different from another]."

Acts 10:34&35 Peter said, "I most certainly understand now that God is not one to show partiality, but in ever nation the man who fears Him and does what is right is welcome to Him."

Acts 17:26 "...and He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth..."

Col. 3:9&10 "....since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. Here there is no Greek ,or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all."

1 John2:2 "He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for us but also for the sins of the whole world."

Gal. 3:28 "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus."

Gen. 1:26 "God said, 'Let Us [Father, Son and Holy Spirit] make mankind in our image, after Our likeness..."

Jesus himself was a victim of discrimination. I wonder how much more tolerant of things God is after His own Son experienced them? I feel differently about bullies now that Laney has experienced one first hand. I'm tired of God's Creation not being respected. No, not the physical earth, but the humans He created to live on it. Who are we to judge what He created? To not respect something of His?

I think they say it better than me:

"Jesus commands us to love each other as He loves us (John 13:34). If God is impartial, and loves us with impartiality, that means we need to love others with that same high standard. Jesus teaches at the end of Matthew 25 that whatever we do to the least of his brothers, we do to Him. If we treat a person with contempt, we are mistreating a person created in God’s image; we are hurting somebody that God loves and Jesus died for."http://www.gotquestions.org/racism-Bible.html

I remember my first experiences with discrimination. It was ugly, made me feel sick to my stomach, and I hated it. I still do. I don't know why God put this on my heart. Maybe to make me research a Biblical approach about discrimination and prejudice to share with my children. See what God says about it. And instill it in them.

Early morning, April 4

Shot rings out in the Memphis sky

Free at last, they took your life

They could not take your pride

I wish they made Band Aids for tongues

I have one of those ulcer thingies on the side of my tongue and it keeps bumping into my teeth. It hurts and I want to put a Band Aid on it. Why don't they make those?

***edited to add in January of 2011 - Twitter was soon to come and save this blog from senseless randomness like this. :)

Excuse me, are you talking to me?

You might just be asking that! Thinking, "This is a lot of information. Does she think that we need to know this much about her and her life???"

Well, no. I don't!!!! Mostly, this is for me. See, I love to scrapbook. I can't really do that right now, so I'm using this blog as sort of a sketch book for when I do get there. That's one part of it. I can't tell you how far behind I am with my scrap booking, and sometimes when I do finally get to do a page, I've forgotten all the important things that surrounded an event. This will help!

I do better processing thoughts when I can see them on paper too. I've always journaled, and I have really felt like I've been cheating on my journal with my blog. All 3 of my kids have journals that chronicled their pregnancies and first years of their lives. I only hope that a spouse or a child cares to read them one day!! But anyway, that was more for me too, just to get all my thoughts down on paper. So that's another reason I'm blogging.

But I'm SO happy that you're here! I've been blown away by the number of people who have told me that they are reading this blog. So THANK YOU!!

And I hope I'm not boring you!

Going home

Whew. It was good to be headed home. Zane made a wonderful recovery towards the end of the week, and we actually slept the last two nights. He was mostly happy the last day, and I was so glad. I was sad, too, though, seeing how fun our vacation could have been, but I stopped asking God "why" and just decided to go with it! I'm talking what He's giving!

So we packed up and headed to our last favorite place to eat: The Donut Hole. It rivals Cracker Barrell, and we stuffed ourselves with pancakes, and bought donuts for the road! I snapped photos on the way out of town, just for fun.

We got blessed with a two hour nap from Zane, and although he was a little testy after that, I was able to entertain him for the most part. Empty water bottles are the very best. Who would have thought? The trip home seems so much easier, because you know exactly how much farther until you arrive. Once we hit Clanton, we knew we were close to home. It was so nice to walk into our house. The kids bounced up stairs and Laney immediately dressed up! Jude and Zane played in their rooms, and Allen and I got some unpacking done. We got showers and baths, and ate Cafe Trentuno. The kids fell out at their normal bed time, and I was asleep by 8:45! It was soooo good to be back in our own beds, and so good to be home!

Anniversary presents

I wasn't really supposed to get a present, since I finally got my telephoto lens for my camera that I had been wanting for a looong time. (I found a super good deal on one. Better than EBay even...) But, we were in Wal Mart (*snicker*) and something caught my eye, and it was on clearance (double *snicker*). All that aside, it was really perfect. Allen's birthstone is pearl, and mine is diamond. Two years ago, we bought a beautiful pearl and diamond necklace for our 10 year anniversary, and I have always wanted a pearl ring to go with it. And there it was. So it came home with us!!!


Allen's present is much less sentimental, but much for fun for him. Madden '08 came out at midnight on Tuesday night, and after several phone calls, and a quick trip to Wal Mart, he was the proud owner of a new game for his PS3. That's man speak for hours of entertainment!!!!! He happily played a game with Laney and Jude cheering him on. It was great fun for everyone!



Here's to 80 more years with my sweet husband, God willing!

Really good things, and really bad things

We went to eat at one of my favorite places-A.J.'s. It's right on the marina, and I love looking out at the boats coming in as I eat my fried crab claws and steamed crab legs. We were surprised to learn that Laney loves crab claws too, and chose shrimp to eat! She actually ate it all week! I have a fellow sea food lover! Allen took Zane for a walk while I finished my dinner, and then we all went on a boat tour, walking around the docks at the marina. I love looking at the boats, and dreaming of the day when we can go deep sea fishing. I'd love that. The kids loved looking at the boats too. They thought they were cool. As we were walking back to the van, we saw a "real life" pirate.It was actually a little old man, but it was just so "this summer" to see him appear right in front of us. We were laughing so hard, and I tried to take a picture, but I was going up the hill, and I was laughing, so it's blurry. But you get the idea. It was a good night...Until we got back to the condo. The older kids went down fine, but Zane cried, and screamed, for hours. I really thought they were going to call up from the front desk and kick us out! I mean it was one of those pray out loud situations. I walked him on the beach, trying anything to calm him down. He just felt awful. Finally, he fell asleep about 1 am, but woke up every 2o to 30 minutes crying. Eventually, the sun came up.

Allen and Laney had plans to go to the water park the next day, and that was fine with us. Jude had spiked a huge fever during the night, and even with Motrin, he was just laying on the couch. We sat around for awhile, listening to what seemed like the rest of the world having fun on the beach, and finally I decided we needed some retail therapy. That's not something I advocate normally, but desperate times call for desperate measures. There was a Target right across the street, so we zipped over there, I put Zane in the carrier, and Jude in the buggy. I got two movies for me, and a Spider Man car for Jude. After a quick consultation with my super sweet and very patient friend, Shannan, I bought some cold medicine for Zane. She assured me it wouldn't kill him, and may even allow us some sleep. I was encouraged for the first time in days. I was also amazed at how the Lord cares for us. He just told me to call her, out of the blue, and she was such a life saver. After getting the "necessities, " we wandered the isles for awhile, since everyone was moderately happy. We finally made our way back to the condo, and waited for Laney and Allen to come back.

When they walked in the door, they were both grinning from ear to ear. They had a blast. Laney was fearless, going on every single side and ride that she was tall enough for. Allen loves water parks, so they were both in their element. They recounted the day, happy and exhausted. Allen took Zane, and I grabbed my Ipod, and hit the beach by myself. I love to walk on the beach, and I cranked my "Elizabethtown" soundtrack, which is fabulous, and did some serious praying and praising. By the time I got back to the condo, my spirits were lifted, which always happens when I make the sacrifice of praise, and told Allen we were headed to yet another favorite eating destination. This is why we love Destin!

The Back Porch is my very favorite. You can wear your bathing suit and cover up, which I did, and you eat in a restaurant right on the beach, with all the windows open, and the wind blowing your hair. They have a kids' playground, so after we ate, the kids played. It was so nice to have a happy time after the hard night and day. We got key lime pie to go, and headed back to the condo to watch a movie. It was a good evening.

Just taking a break to enjoy home...

I have so many more memories to share...I'm just enjoying being home, catching up with family and friends, and unpacking!

Here's what I missed about home:

Friends and family

My recliner (Because Zane likes to rock!)

My bed

My shower

My whole house

Getting mail

There's no sand

David Neal and the Fox6 News team (yes. for real. I have a stange affection for local news. I met Janet Hall once, and nearly had a heart attack.)

TIVO!!!

My kids' rooms

Having a washer and dryer

Sprout and Noggin television

Oh, there's more. We're just glad to be home!

I'll update more later...

A random thought

I think how you feel about your life, by some measure, can be revealed by how much you want to get home at the end of a vacation.

I can't wait to get home!

Things get bad...and good.

Zane and Jude are sick. Zane more so, and he's not sleeping. I could type pages about how bad this was, but I think I'll just go on to the good parts about the next day!

Jude got some Motrin in him, and he was ready to go. The kids loved the beach. I can't tell you how happy that made me. The last time we were here, Laney was 3, and scared to death of the beach, the sand, everything. Jude was just a baby. To see them playing and laughing made me so happy, I cried happy tears! It made the hard night with Zane worth it all.

We went to the pool, where Zane was happy, as long as Daddy was holding him. He has been such a Daddy's boy all we, we have just laughed. He's constantly reaching for Allen! He said his first word, too. "Buh, buh." I'll give you a single guess what that is! Anyway, the pool was so much fun. Laney got so brave, and was jumping off the side and going under, no help except from her arm floaties. She was swimming under water, climbing all over us, jumping off our legs, and having a blast. No more scared Laney. Wow. Jude was a little more reserved, choosing to play on the stairs, or hanging on to us. I was fine with that, and proud of how brave he was. He was hilarious, and had a great time. Zane loved jumping off the side of the pool to Allen. He laughed and laughed. It felt so good to see him happy for a moment!

We went to our favorite restaurant that night, McGuires

We had a great dinner, Zane was happy, and it was a nice time! Yes, that is money stapled to the ceiling. The whole restaurant's huge ceiling is covered. It's either 300,000 or 500,000 thousand dollars,I can't remember which. (I hear Austin Power's "one million dollars" in my head...)So we got new tee shirts too, and this is my new favorite one.
And it's really a restaurant, not a pub. I love the Irish theme so much. I claim my father's family to be Irish, although Daddy says we're Welsh. I claim to be Irish anyway, and ask Allen once a year if we can move to Ireland. He always says, "no."

Back to the shirt. It has my new favorite non-Scriptural quote on it.

"There are good ships,
and there are wood
ships, the ships that sail the
sea, but the best ships are friendships,
and may they always be."

How perfect for this summer?

So that was a very good day, and a very bad day. But why just live in the middle, when you can live on the extremes???

The good, the bad and the ugly

That title has been stuck in my head all week. I used to have an Alabama shirt that said that,when I was in college, and it's been a catch phrase of mine ever since. Not sure why... Anyway, here is the beginning of the vacation recap...

During the night Friday night, *both* boys spiked a huge fever. I called the ped on Saturday morning, and he called in two prescriptions, which we started them on immediately. We were going to the beach, regardless. It was paid for, and we were going.

So we headed out Sunday morning. The trip down was fine, except for Zane's occasional fussing, thanks in large part to a portable DVD player and a large selection of movies. It started to rain about an hour from Destin, and by the time we got to Destin, it was a full fledged, raining sideways, lightening everywhere, huge amounts of thunder, very scary thunderstorm. Oddly enough, it had been so long since we had seen rain, we didn't even care. Until they told us we had to unload in that. Luckily it stopped in time for us to unload and get everything up to our room.

So we let the kids explore, I went to the grocery store, and then got the kids settled into bed. Or the older two, anyway. Allen held Zane while I prepared my special, super romantic anniversary dinner. (It was year number 12, by the way.) What did I make? Why Jennifer Lartigue's (Laura Teague's) Amy-can-eat-it pepperoni pizza!

(The recipes are above...)


It has Hormel Turkey Pepperoni!! Woo hoo! So we had that with a nice glass of Pinot Noir, and watched football! It was a sweet, perfect anniversary celebration!

We had made it to the beach, settled in, and were ready for a week of fun!

Sleep Deprivation and Disappointment

I'm tired. No, I'm more than tired. I crave sleep the way an alcoholic craves a drink. I think of sleep as some sort of unattainable, unimaginable luxury that I can't afford right now.

I think the whole concept of sleep is flawed anyhow. If I just didn't need to sleep, I would be fine. Why do we need so much anyway? Joyce Meyer says that it takes the 8 hours we sleep for us to recover from the day that we lived. I guess she's right. I know the metaphysical reasons we need to sleep, but they just frustrate me too.

I think I've spent the better part of the last 5 and 1/2 years trying to convince someone that they *do* want to go to sleep, and once they are asleep that they want to *stay* asleep. Why is that? Nobody has to convince me to go to sleep. So kids don't sleep until they are, in all likely hood, teenagers. Then they sleep all the time. You can't get them out of the bed, from what I've heard. (And don't think there won't be massive amounts of payback issued.) Then, as they get to college, if it was anything like my college experience, they won't sleep again.

I worked at a restaurant, working past midnight most nights, then had to be at my student teaching school around 7. There were many days that I feel asleep (once again, I hear Ross, from "Friends", saying, "You fell ASLEEP?" I think Allen and I quote television and movies too much....)in the afternoon, in my classroom. My precious cooperating teacher would just smile and nudge me. She knew what I was up against.

So there were some years, in between college and kids, where I slept. Then, in March of 2001, my sleeping career changed forever. I became with child. And slept so badly in our small, full bed, that I kicked Allen clear out of the bedroom. Poor man had to go buy a futon and put it in the computer room. Don't feel too sorry for him, though, because the farther away from me, and my cranky sleep deprived self that he got was better for him.

So, I didn't sleep through any of my 3 and 1/4 pregnancies. So that's 132 weeks. And my kids didn't sleep much their first 6 months of life. So that's roughly 75 more weeks. Poor Zane is going on month 13 of poor sleeping, so we'll just say, that for the last, oh who am I kidding, 5 1/2 years, I haven't slept much.

And I keep hearing that how, during menopause, we will have trouble sleeping then too. And don't most elderly people have trouble sleeping?? So the one phase in my adult life that I should be sleeping through, is being spent stumbling around in a fog of sleep deprivation. Why can't we do the no-sleeping-menopause thing now, while I'm not sleeping anyway? How ironic is that?

My eyes burn, my legs are heavy. I can't remember anything, nor choose correct words when speaking. I wish for 10 solid hours, of uninterrupted, blissful sleep, in a cold, dark room. *Sigh* Oh well. I have to say, that the 3 reasons that I don't sleep, are the most amazing blessings I've ever known, besides my husband. And you know what? Some days, he gets up with all of them, and tip toes down the stairs with then, and then I get one or two whole hours of blissful, uninterrupted sleep. That will do for now...

Disappointment

I was disappointed today. And you know what? I've never really thought about how narcissistic it is to be disappointed. Disappointment is defined as, "a feeling of dissatisfaction that results when your expectations are not realized"

My expectations. How horrible. I want to say, "Well, Father, that sucked. Now, I give it to you, and I'm done with it. Teach my from it, show me if I was wrong, where I was wrong, and/or how I can become a better child of yours because of that disappointment, and let's go on to something else."

Jennifer's Cake

So I've had a really crappy week. I'm not complaining-it's just part of the story! So last night, I'm laying in bed, with Zane, and there is a segment on the Today Show, which I had TiVoed, about cupcakes. My mouth was literally watering. Then, as if hit by a bolt of lightening, I jumped out of bed and RAN downstairs. You know why???

I had some of Jennifer's magic cake in my freezer!!! Saved from Zane's birthday, and meant for the upcoming beach trip. I ripped into that wrapped, frozen cake, to quote "Friends," like a "monkey on a cupcake..." Allen was laughing at me. I got to that frozen delisiousness, all the while thanking God for Jennifer's amazing talent for baking, and slapped it on a plate.

I snuggled down into my bed, and enjoyed every single crumb of cake. While watching "Beauty and the Geek." Yes, I'll admit it. It's Jackie's fault. She got me hooked.

So I think of Jackie and Will, so far away in Washington. They crave Jennifer's cake too. She and I have tried a million times to think of a way to ship them some cake, but we just don't think it will work. So I did feel a little bit guilty about my treasure in my freezer. That and the fact that I'm supposed to be in the "Zone." (I'll blog about that later.)

So, anyway, my bad week was made better by a precious friend who doesn't understand my obsession with her cake, but supports it anyway!!!

School is right around the corner...

Originally uploaded by aljzloveme
And I'm a little sad! How silly. I mean, she's just going to come the the dining room table. It's not that big of a deal, right?

I think it's because a really carefree phase of her life is over. For the next 13, and then beyond, years of her life, she's going to have things she HAS to do everyday. No more fly by the seat of our pants! It's going to really change our lives, forever. Not that I'm being dramatic or anything...

I'm acting cool and collected when we talk about starting school. And I am really excited. So is she. Most all of the curriculum is here. I just have a few more things to get. I planned out our year the other day. The Tuesday after Labor Day, we'll start kindergarten.

Of course I have concerns. WHAT am I going to do with the boys while we school? What about when I'm sick? Or one of the boys are sick? We can't play in the mornings anymore. Or run errands. We are morning people. The thought of dragging all 3 kids to Target in the dreaded *afternoon* makes my stomach lurch... Oh, and there are more. So many more.

And then the Lord whispers, "Hey, I told you to do this. Don't you think I'm going to help you???"

Oh, yeah. Thank you, Lord, for your gentle, patient Spirit.

So don't call us in the morning starting the Tuesday after Labor Day. We'll be at school!!!

Beth knocked my socks off this week

I'll just let her say it, because she'll do a much better job than I:

I read a book a number of years ago by Gilda Radner, who was in the early Saturday Night Live fame. She’s long since passed away. But before she did, she wrote a book called, “It’s Always Something.” She tells a story that was printed as an excerpt in the paper at the time. She told about growing up and having a family pet that was going to have puppies. Somehow the family pet got too close to the lawn mower and lost its back legs. They took the family pet into the vet and said, “What are we to do? Must we put her to sleep? After all, she’s going to have these puppies. Can we somehow still have the puppies?” He said, “Well, I’m going to tell you,” it was early on and he said, “Absolutely not. If we don’t maintain the life of the dog the puppies aren’t going to make it. But here’s what we can do: we can sew her up and she will teach herself to walk.” And they said sure enough she did. She didn’t even waste any time with it. She learned to drag herself by her front paws and, somehow, just hop forward with the back part of her body. Didn’t seem ashamed of it; that’s just how she walked. Then she had the puppies -- they were all healthy. The last line of it said this, “And when they learned to walk, they all walked just like her.”

I became petrified that even if no one touched my children, that the second hand effects of my abuse, if I did not deal with it, was going to show up in them. And somehow, all of the sudden, you got to do something. It was years before I would tell you that I was experiencing full freedom. You just go through layers and layers of it. It was a deep stronghold and it took some long and radical work. Anybody know what I’m talking about? But in the process of it, by the time my healing came, I knew my healer a whole lot better than I knew my healing and I was in love forever. Do you understand what I’m saying? He was Prince Charming and it was done! It was done! I would be in love for the rest of my life. That’s what the course of that longevity gave me as a gift.

What would it take for you and me to decide it would be worth it to seek healing? What would it take? It doesn’t have to be a birth of a child. Some of you are going, “I’m way past that!” Others who are single are going, “I don’t even know if God’s got that as a part of my life.” What about the value of you as his child? What about the value of you and the impact your life is going to have on people around you, because we have spiritual offspring even when we do not have physical offspring. We are having influence. We are having an effect. Would it be worth it to you in your stay on planet earth to do whatever you had to do if you had to go through the roof! Do you want to be healed? Do you want to be healed? 

I've thought about this all week. I'm not going to mess up my kids. I constantly ask the Holy Spirit to guide me. And you know what? He does. Tells me what to do. What not to do. How to fix how I just messed up. I think, if I stay really close to God, and stay humble, constantly asking Him for help and listening to His voice, my kids will turn out okay. No, actually, I'm claiming it. The Bible says, "Whatever you ask for in my name..." So I'm asking you, God, to help me be the mother that my children will rise up and call blessed. I want to make them proud to be my child.

The first one

So I took the plunge. I said I wouldn't, and that seems to be the shortcut to me actually doing something. Saying I won't. Call it peer pressure. Self-imposed peer pressure. Or a need to self express, although you think I'd get my fill from the journaling, scrap booking and other documenting I do on our lives. I think it just looks fun, and I wanted to do it. Blame it on Jenn. It's her fault. Her blog is so amazing, and I find myself clicking it and getting aggravated when she hasn't updated it every day. So she's the inspiration.

So here I am. This may all be more than you ever wanted to know about me. This is how I'm going to go about this whole thing. It's a place for me to anchor down all these thoughts roaming around in my head. It's for me, really, because I'm such an outward processor. I'll just be here, writing away, posting pictures that make me happy, and chatting to myself. And you can eavesdrop. That way you can skip what parts you want to, and read what you want to.

Just make a deal with me. Don't get mad at me or change how you feel about me based on anything I write without talking to me about it first. Deal? Good. Now to figure out how to work this thing...