Update on a Facebookless Life

Once you have a Facebook account, you can never not have a Facebook account. 

That still bothers me. 

It also makes it easy to get back on once you've "left Facebook for probably forever."

Although I don't think I ever really said that.

Maybe I did. 

Anyway, I logged back onto Facebook one day to see exactly when it was I left Facebook.

If that makes any sense. 

It was the middle of January, by the way.

But the odd thing was that it wouldn't let me deactivate my account again.

It kept saying my password was wrong. 

You know, the exact same password I had just used to log into my account was now incorrect since I was trying to deactivate my account (again). 

I started to panic.

For real.

Because once I logged back into that world, I felt the same sense of dread. 

And I'll you a secret.

I lost about thirty minutes of my life just seeing what everyone had been up to.

Without my even realizing it. 

Good grief.

It was a good test. It made me realize that even though there are parts of Facebook I miss, this was absolutely the best decision for me. 

I still get sad because I miss out on a lot of stuff. I miss seeing what far away friends are up to. I hate that I'm not seeing their kids grow up or see how they are. I miss announcements of playdates and things like that. 

But it's okay. 

I'm trying to keep up better with those people in other ways. And it's working.

And I'm protected from a lot of drama.

A. Lot.

A sweet friend told me of a situation on Facebook where her feelings were hurt just the other day. It made me sad, and I thought about this phenomenon of social media even more. 

I read an article recently about ways women struggle that men don't usually. A major player in this "game" of disfunction was social media.

It's become a huge enabler in our sea of disfunction. A weapon of mass destruction.

And I simply was not above using it myself.

So I removed myself from the equation.

I'm explaining this a lot to my daughter. 

Not everything is bad. I'm not sure I will ever be able to say that Facebook is bad. (I have noticed that nearly everyone who asks where I've been on Facebook responds the same way when I tell them I've jumped ship: I should do that too. Then they get this sad look on their faces. I'm not ever sure how to respond. I'm usually quiet. Unless they ask my opinion. This is something that is between an individual and the Spirit.) 

As there are a lot of things in life that aren't bad, they may not be good for me. I'm trying to teach her this in so many different areas of her life. 

It's not easy. I'm not sure she gets it. I will keep trying to explain it to her. And to me.

I keep thinking about this.

That's probably another post, though. 

This is still the best thing for me, though. This not being on Facebook. And after these five months away, I'm more certain of that than ever.

There is a sweet blessing in obedience, even when, or especially when, it's hard to obey. 

Ouch

First let me preface my "ouch" with this paragraph:

"...We don't like people who seem to be enamored with their own intelligence or strength or skill or good looks or wealth. We don't like scholars who try to show off their specialized knowledge or recite for all all of us their recent publications. We don't like businessmen who talk about how shrewdly they have invested their money and how they stayed right on top of the market to get in low and out high. We don't like children to play one-upmanship (Mine's bigger! Mine's faster! Mine's prettier!). And unless we are one of them, we disapprove of men and women who dress not functionally and simply, but to attract attention with the latest styles..."

I already had my toes, which were encased in my most recent favorite pair of new cute shoes, stepped on. 

Maybe I'd better think on this for a minute.

But there was no time. 

It went right on, this book.

"Why don't we all like that? I think at root it's because such people are inauthentic. They are what Ayn Rand calls "second-handers." They don't live from the joy that comes through achieving what they value for its own sake. Instead, they live secondhand from the compliments of others. They have one eye on their action and one on their audience. We simply do not admire second-handers. We admire people who are secure and composed enough that they don't need to shore up their weaknesses and compensate for their deficiencies by trying to get compliments."

So I cocked an eyebrow at myself and asked myself the question, 

"Is this you, Amy?"

And what does my love of social media say to this?

I'm still thinking...

And another fast

No, not food related. Social media related.

I just felt the need to refrain from Facebook and Twitter this week. I wasn't even really sure why. I think mainly I do this every so often just to make sure I can. I also planned to not email too, but that just wasn't practical.

I think one of the main problems with these sites is that other people's thoughts become my thoughts. I don't mean that in a brain washing way. I actually love and adore reading things I don't agree with. I need to constantly challenge what I think by pondering why I believe what I do, then seeing if what I believe truly lines up with scripture or if I have just always believed what I've been told.

What I mean is that I think so much on what I've read that I ponder on those things and not Scripture and praise and prayer.

This is a good thing and a bad thing. I am desperate to learn, but I also want to keep my mind on Christ. I just wanted to fast from the internet to see if that changed the dynamic in my mind.

This is sounding so cheesy and science fictionic. Fictionist? This is sounding a lot like science fiction. (Fictional. What the heck is wrong with me?)

The upside to these sites, and mainly Facebook, is that I know how to pray for my friends. Now that sounds like some sort of spiritual excuse for being on Facebook, but I really mean it. And you could also argue that I should be spending real, quality time with these same people so that I will know how to pray for them. And I agree, except that I can't physically spend time with all those folks, even though I really want to.

I really missed knowing what was going on in my friends' lives. I missed the prayer request, the praise reports and the silly moments that seem to bind friendship in some ways.

But, I really didn't miss the "noise." At all.

I did miss Twitter. I like Twitter better than Facebook. It's just short, concise and done. I try to use Twitter mostly as spiritual education (excuse me, did you just snort out a "yeah, right?) by following pastors, teachers and people trying to make a difference, with friends and a few fluffy Tweeters thrown in. I did miss that. I can't tell you how much I've learned on Twitter this year. Twitter makes me smarter. (I'm thinking that blogging when you've been up half the night at Secret Church is maybe not the most practical idea.)

So, what I took from all this is that limiting what I read really does affect my spiritual mindset. I didn't miss the snatched moments of glancing at Facebook status updates on my phone. I'd rather skim it all at night, gleaning the most important bits of information. I'm not feeling all that compelled to post there much either, although that may change.

I also really do see it as a means of ministry. If I'm being honest, my Facebook friends contain more non Christians than I know in "real" life. I heard once that if you don't know any non Christians, then you aren't doing something right. Fine, I don't see more than 5 people that I'm not related to in a week's time a lot of weeks, so I'm not sure what to do with that. Get out more? Probably.

That's another post, which is going to include thoughts and ponderings about cold witnessing to people. (Think tracks and "excuse me, may I ask you a personal question?) That's going to be a great post. You should really look forward to it. (I have GOT to go to bed.)

So what's the take away here? What did we actually unpack? (Oh my gosh, I'm stuck in Secret Church...) It seems really obvious and a no- brainer, but I have let myself slip into a habit of clicking and checking things that don't encourage a constant prayer dialogue and mediation of scripture and praise. It's such a slippery slope, this social media thing. I want to be a light for Christ, all the while feeding that which makes me a light.

I really think this break helped me re-establish boundaries and remind me of what's eternal and what's temporal. Looks like I need a daily reminder of this. Along with 8 good, solid hours of sleep, which will hopefully correct all that is wrong here.

Faceless Book. I mean Facebookless

So God asked me to take a break this week from Facebook. I honestly said, "Sure." I had tons to do this week, and thought, "Well, that will make it easier for me to get things done."

I'm not super addicted to FB. I actually just use it when I "plop." I don't sit down most days, except when we're doing school. I literally run around the house all day. So I "plop" in my chair and see what my friends are up to. No biggie. I think I just plop more than I realize I do. And I also plop when I know I can Facebook and avoid some huge chore I don't want to do. And yes, I've even Facebooked during some tedious school moments. *gasp* Horrors. So it can get in the way of real life. At least in my case.

I've treasured the people that FB has brought back into my life, I'm learning leaps and bounds, and it's even increasing my spirituality. No, I hate that word. It definitely increases my prayer life, as I lift up my friends and their needs. I'm also challenged by what my friends are researching, reading and doing. I love to know what they are thinking, pondering and wrestling with. I love the mundane stuff too. I just have some really amazing friends with great brains!

But, God said take a break. And oddly enough, I don't miss it! Ack!!!! I really, really don't. I have only been tempted once to go there this week, and that was because I didn't want to get off my butt and go do what I needed to do! I have been so much more in the real moment now. I've plopped with the kids instead of the computer. Novel idea, I know. But when you're with these creatures 24/7, you need to plop away now and then. Balance....

So it is a relief to know that I can live without Facebook! But now I am honestly trying to figure out how to work it back into my life. I do miss my friends. I miss praying for them, and I miss laughing with them. I'm so blessed by the people I have reconnected with ( I think I hate that word too) and I don't want them to be out of my life again. I just need to figure out how to work that, you know, balance.

And since my friends keep moving away from me ;) I need Facebook to keep me close to my not-so-near and dear. I have lots of those!

And just because I love love love my kid, I have to share this picture...



When you have that, why do you need Facebook? I love that his shirt says, "I'm definitely up to something"! So true, so true...

Amy is...

Since I have Facebook on the brain, I'm extending my status updates to my life updates. No, not life updates. This is just how my brain is working today:

Amy is...

Listening to one song over and over again all day long. And pondering the meaning of it. And letting the music take me back to days in my life when I got to go see live music, which is where part of my soul still rests. I need music, and I need a certain amount of live music. I love to get lost in it, feel it swirl around me. I find myself needing more and more to get back to the essense of me. Get back to the parts of me that have been pushed aside for so, so long. And I desperately want a voice that would let me be a back up singer. My dream, absolute dream job.

Killing herself cleaning this house, and honestly mad at God that He's calling me to a higher level here. ME-one of the few people I know that actually *like* to clean house, being pushed harder in this area of my life. What the heck?

Pondering theology. Restless and bucking against the time restraints on my study time. Wondering how in the world I've missed some basic, fundamental tenants of my belief system. Wondering why in the world God puts up with me.

Pondering this quote by one of my favorite authors, Ernest Hemmingway, from "A Farewell to Arms:"
"The world breaks everyone, and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry."

So excited about this new Beth Moore study. I've prayed blessings over her all day, after watching the introductory video last night. I've missed having Beth in my life, and I'm so blessed and amazed by her. I'm super excited about this study, and thinking about what I've learned so far.

Danced while making dinner. It felt good. I danced while I cleaned the bathroom too. I've danced as much as possible today. I miss dancing too...

Actually fantasized about running today. Granted I was cleaning the shower, which is the job I so vehemently despise as far as housework goes, but still. I felt the stress of the day, of my life, and I just wanted to throw down that scrubbie, tear off the yellow rubber gloves and go run and run and run. I still do...

Praying for the sick, the hurt, the needy and all the people that keep ringing in my head that need God so desperately right now.

Is fully aware that she had not finished the Psalm 23 homework. *sigh*

Is trepidatous about finalizing the joining process for church on Sunday. It's just because I'm a freak.

Is super emotional right now, and ready to be done with that.

Has no desire in the whole world to watch television tonight. I just want to exercise and study. My goodness, I think God just may have done a work here...

Super proud of how hard her kids worked today. Over and beyond what I even knew they were capable of. I'm so proud, especially since they cleaned up messes THEY made...

There. I feel a little better. Why in the world that blogging helps calm my brain down, I'll never know...