Christmas from their hearts

There have been a couple of blogs that have posted recently about Christmas that really struck a chord in me. I don't know what to do, if anything, yet. I do know that my heart longs to do things differently. And I have absolutely no idea how to do them. 

Christmas Conundrum

and 

Whose Birthday is it Really?

He Came

The calendar was unapologetic. 

December 1

Here we are again. 

December. 

I  knew it was coming. My culture's love for this month begins to spill forth long before the month actually arrives. There are declarations of excitement about shopping to go along with a plenitude of sales, pictures of Christmas trees on social media as they are erected, Christmas music in every conceivable type of store, cars and vans dressed as reindeer, inflatable decorations in yards,  yards sparkling with lights, and on and on...

If one wanted to avoid this holiday, it would definitely be impossible. 

And I knew that wasn't possible. 

It's not that I actually wanted to avoid the month of December, though honestly if given the opportunity, it would slide from my calendar without a single regret. That wasn't possible, so there was only one thing for me to do.

Fix myself.

I do hate that I'm broken here. I hate that it takes me a monumentos effort to put on any sort of holiday spirit. I hate that I don't eagerly anticipate the holidays with the giddiness of a light soul.

As I exercised this morning, I noticed that my favorite tree had shed it's gorgeous wardrobe. It stood bare. I pretended for a moment that it too was mournful that the change of the calendar had brought it to this stark, ugly state. 

Silly, of course. 

In the frosty cold of the morning, I begged God to hear my heart concerning this season that boasts to be all about Him and his Gift. 

It's not fun to be here, the outsider looking in on a warm celebration which one feels no part of. 

And I'm not alone. Perhaps if I had to list the reasons that have led me to this place of discontent, near the top of the list would be the hardships that this holiday brings for so many that I love. Not that I'm trying to shoulder their burdens for them, taking them on as my own, but as I think of them, my heart aches for the brokenness they too feel.

The list reaches on for a bit - reasons that I dread this season. They range from the trite to the deeply buried and pushed aside issues of long ago.

I felt deeply in me, though, the beginnings of a tiny fire of the longing to worship during this season the God who not only understands the reasons I fear but also gave His Son to remedy the brokenness in me. 

"Heal me, Lord..." I pleaded as I looked up at the cloudless sky. "I don't want to stay here."

He is able. 

This phrase had found me in the last few weeks in a new way. I had repeated it constantly almost as a mantra. 

Today it took on a new ending.

He is able. Now let Him. 

It is so easy for me to stay in the hard sometimes. Staying where it's hard because it's easier than receiving His comfort or healing. 

I just want to stay here, because the hard is easier. 

Being healed means that I have to be honest about how I got here in the first place. I have to say honestly that when I get to this place, I got here because I am most concerned about me.

This is hard for me. 

The rational part of my brain said, Get over it.

It's not really that simple, but the Lord so graciously reminded me again that He is able. And though I wanted Him to repair me in one fell swoop, He instead reminded me that I only need to trust Him one step at a time. 

I don't know how exactly to have a carefree December, but I do know how to do the things that send me deep into His love.

I found my favorite Christmas sermon and played it loudly, diving into the text:

"And you know that He appeared to take away sins..."

And my hurt and my failures and my shortcomings and my longings and my disappointment and my fears and my sins.

He came.

Everything in me wants to celebrate that.  

My love for Him can push past everything in me that would rather be hurt and sad and angry and tired and fearful - that would rather stay here. 

My love for Him can allow Him to heal me, through His love for me.

It takes a willing spirit to be healed and comforted. And it didn't happen in me by the time lunch was prepared. 

But I feel His peace. And I feel His love and careful provision along with His compassion and His mercy. They flow from Him, inviting me to celebrate His greatest gift. 

I can do that. 

I can celebrate Him. 

Sweetly, quietly, humbly and secure in His loving arms, trusting Him with all that is hard about this season. 

"Glory, glory in the highest...

Just a child born in a manager, with the hope of the whole world on His shoulders..."

Snapshots of Christmas

It was a Christmas filled with hope, joy, longing, grief, sadness, gratitude, sickness, peace, chaos, friendship, family, snow and Christ. I'm thankful it came, and I'm thankful that it's gone. I will celebrate the joy of Christ's coming all year long, and that's the way I prefer it be done. Thank you, Lord, for the immeasurable gift of Your Son.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

I hope your Christmas is filled with joy, hope and peace that can only come from the Savior that came from above!!!!!

Christmas Destruction

"What is Christmas about, boys and girls? Annihilation. Obliteration. Demolition. Destruction."

It was the Christmas sermon opening that changed the way I thought about Christmas.

Thinking about a baby destroying the world immediately brought back age old memories of Chucky. I dated a guy who's four year old nephew was addicted to Chucky movies. I hope that kid turned out okay, but I think the odds were probably stacked against him. I need to pray over him today...

Anyway, you probably knew it was coming. My yearly post about all the things that I think are wrong with Christmas. The things that interfere with my thoughts and feelings about Christmas. The theories that I can't reconcile, the questions that don't have answers, the thoughts and feelings that conflict my spirit.

And you know what? I'm not alone! I found one, single solitary person who has the same problem. So there. I'm not that crazy. Well, let's not linger too long there.

  I'm don't like to linger long on the baby Savior. He was vulnerable. He was dependent on the humans he came to save. I wonder if this was the greatest challenge He faced, as He sat in Heaven, gazing down at the Earth, and asked the Father, "You trust them to take care of me?"

I imagine God nodded. And I imagine Jesus sighed and said, "Okay, if You do, then I guess I do."

Or something like that. Or maybe not.

But, again, I don't like to linger there. That has just never sat well with me, this whole celebration of the baby Jesus. Could it be that this is why He never asked us to celebrate His birth? Because it wasn't about His birth?

It was about the fall of Satan.

Now that gets me pumped up.

1 John 3:8b says this:

"The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil."

There. That's it. It all just clicked. It all made sense. That's what my spirit has been longing to hear, plain and simple, all this time. And I am absolutely, positively sure that it has been mentioned before, talked about, preached about and illustrated over and over again before now. I think I just missed it all this time.

I know that Jesus came to save us. I really do. I know that was the whole intention of His birth. But it's more than that. This tiny baby's birth must have sent shock waves through Satan, waves of fear and trembling. It meant that Satan's destruction was sealed. It was definite now. The ONE who was going to destroy Satan was here. He came, and now it was all set into motion. The movie, if you will, had started. And the credits won't roll until Satan meets his eternal demise.

Wow.

"Jesus appeared to destroy the Devil's work"

That's it. That's why He came. He saved us in the process. He rescued us from Satan's clutches. Paid the ransom, and swept us into His arms.

Hebrews 2:14-15

"Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery."

Oh yeah. That's it. My new Christmas verse.

So am I now okay with Christmas in December, the songs about Jesus being born this night, the Wise Men hanging around the manger, the presents, the craziness, and all and such?

No. I'm not. And I won't ever be. But you know what? God won't let me let go of these things. It's important to Him that I think these thoughts. And He is the ONLY one who knows why it's important. It drives me to tears.

But this year, this message has brought me comfort in the craziness. I can celebrate, in my heart, that baby in the manger who soon will wipe Satan from all of our lives. I'm focusing on thanking God for His gift of His Son every single day of the year. I leave those Wisemen-less nativities up all year. I want to tell the unreached nations that He did come. And He's here to save, and annihilate. And obliterate. And demolish. And destroy.

And He did all that because He is holy. He is perfect. And He is worthy to be praised.

Christmastime is here!