Gardenias

Gardenias are my favorite.

Actually I have several favorite flowers, just as I have several favorite children, and gardenias are definitely one of them.

I only tried to grow them once. And I failed miserably. As such, I am reduced to sniffing the neighbor's gardenias, and I do this unabashedly.

(They haven't called the police on me yet, so I'll continue...)

I hadn't noticed them blooming yet until one morning last week. They were blooming near the house on the corner of the block where I walk. I noticed them, and made no haste going over and burying my face in them.

I breathed deeply over and over again. Their scent fills me with such joy.

A friend used to have a ginormous bush in her yard, and she allowed me not only to sniff them, but to also cut branches to take home. I'd put them in my window sill in the kitchen, where I seem to spend most of my time, and smell them until they finally withered.

Then I would go get more.

I really love gardenias.

It was such a treat to find them for the first time this season. I wondered how long they had been there before I noticed them.

And then a strange thing happened.

Their scent is noticeable from the street. After pausing to plunge my face into their fragrance that morning, now each time I pass the yard, I can smell them. And I couldn't before. Now that I got re-acquainted with their smell, I can recognize it from a far. And even today, almost a week, later as I passed, I could smell them from where I walked on the street.

But I couldn't before.

The Spiritual truth was poignant.

I am currently obsessed with 1 Kings 19. It's become my favorite chapter in the Bible.

Okay, so I have several favorite chapters.  (I am sensing a theme here.) And this has become one of them.

1 Kings 19:11-12

So He said, "Go forth and stand on the mountain before the LORD." And behold, the LORD was passing by! And a great and strong wind was rending the mountains and breaking in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of a gentle blowing.


...a gentle blowing...

God revealed Himself in the gentle blowing of the wind.

When is the last time I stopped to listen to the sound of a gentle blowing?

A wind that whips around the house, shaking it to the foundation?

Yes.

A gentle wind?

Not so much.

Yet I want to spend time with the Lord, breathing deeply of Him and His fragrance so that when the scent of Him floats across the wind, I will sense Him and respond.

Our pastor has said that "God does not reveal the intimate things of His heart to those who casually come and go." I want to visit Him in prayer and in His Word and in worship and linger there. I want to be quiet and still and hear loudly the gentle wind that He is.

Wrathful and holy and mighty and strong and fierce, yet gentle too...

My commentary paraphrases the Lord's message to Elijah by saying, "My still small voice brings the Word to the listening ear and heart. Yes, there's a time and place for the wind, the earthquake and the fire, but most of the time, I speak to people in tones of gentle love and quiet persuasion."

Am I still and quiet enough to hear?

What if I hadn't stopped by that gardenia bush that day? Would I enjoy smelling it each day as I run by? What would I have missed out on if I hadn't stopped?

What am I missing by rushing past the Lord to meet my own needs and wants?

What do I risk for a lost and dying world that so desperately needs Him?

Oh, 2 Corinthians 2:15:

For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing...


I am desperate to spend Him with Him so that His presence is all over me, inside and out, filling me so that it spills out of me and flows to a world that needs to see Him in me and hear His truth from my mouth.

As those flowers send their scent on the wind, I pray that He sends His out of me.

The Lord has shown me afresh that He is all I need. Spending time with Him, both in concentrated study and fellowship with Him in His Word and communing with him through prayer and worship, are the things what will nourish and sustain me.

And pour His scent over me.

And while I am obsessed with Elijah, I remembered the time he sat by his brook waiting on the Lord. Why? To ready him for what was to come.

I am glad to wait by my brook today. For however long He chooses.

To wait well.

And while waiting, what a joy to experience the fragrance of Him in the gentle wind.

How to turn 40

It was a little hard to believe. 

It was time to turn ~40~

Oh boy. 

The birthday celebration started with a sweet, long night's visit with a precious friend. 

Utter Cream is one of our favorite inside jokes, and I was delighted to find it in my birthday present. 

This dragonfly ring was nestled inide my owl change purse, and the accompanying description meant a lot to me. She chose it with these thoughts in mind, and it was precious confirmation of all the good the Lord is doing in my life:

(I'm going to let the grammar mistakes go)

Laney asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I told her I wanted some special girl time with her. Getting a manicure is quite the treat for us, and we had fun choosing our colors and just being girlie.

 Yep. ~Four. Zero~

We then all went to eat lunch together, the kids, hubs and I. 

When I had pondered by birthday, in the months (yes, months) leading up to it, I had decided I wanted a road trip. With some friends. There were 4 of us all turning 40 at almost the same time, and we thought it would be fun to take off and celebrate. We tossed around ideas about where we would go (one of us kept mentioning Minneapolis, Minnesota for some strange reason) and it seemed like the best way to celebrate such a monumental milestone.

Then, much like a needle scratching across a record, that idea came to an abrupt end. 

My friend was sitting in my kitchen when I said to her, "There isn't going to be a road trip." It was a sad admission.

I was sad. 

When she called later to tell me the plans for my birthday Saturday, she said to wear comfortable shoes and that was all. I panicked just a little. I don't do surprises well. 

In fact, they send me into panic mode. 

I refuse to discuss my neurosis on my birthday post. Since it's a birthday post, let's just celebrate the neurosis, okay?

Surprises are not my favorite. 

Anyway, my sweet friends took me on a local mini road trip. It was so carefully and thoughtfully planned out. I was blown away by all the work put into it. They made every effort to not only include all of my favorite things (like having Josh Garrels playing in the van when I got in) but to do things I had never done in our city. It was so sweet, and even today, these weeks later, I'm still thinking about it. 

When I got in the van, I was handed a bag of "road trip goodies" that had some of my favorite things in it. Then, as we approached a stop, I was handed an envelope that had a clue about what the stop would be. There were several stops throughout the day, and they were all sweet and fun and included a present. 

I was spoiled rotten. 

There was a stop to the local "beach" because no road trip should be without a beach trip. We had virgin margaritas (yes, really) and I loved this wine glass that was part of the present. 

This was one of my favorite stops. I had driven past this monument for years but never actually been to it. The thoughtfulness of including it nearly made me cry, especially since the clue said, "Next, a stop at the place where 'all nations come together' to celebrate your love for missions." 

It was a beautiful view.

We also rode a trolley! That was so much fun. We made friends with the nice lady that drove and bid farewell to all that left the trolley. It was nice to be a part of the community in a way I never had before and see our city at the same time. Such a good idea! 

They even took me to Target, one of my favorite places, with a gift card, where I got a birthday dress.

We had dinner at a place that I had never eaten before, and it was so good. Then more friends met us for cupcakes and we ate them in the van. It was a perfect day and I am so thankful for my friends and the way they love me. 

I got home just in time for the husband to go to work, but first the family gave me their present: a hammock. It was such a great present, and I have loved using it. We were so rushed and I was so tired from my fun day that I forgot to take any pictures of that part of the day. 

But I do love my hammock. 

They even wrote my name 40 times on each card!

Once I figured that my birthday was going to be more of a normal day, I embraced the normal whole heartedly. It was a Sunday, so we went to church first. That was good, since it's one of my favorite places to be. It was not good that my old small group ambushed me in my new small group to sing "Happy Birthday." I didn't handle that very well. Surprises and I are not friends, but I think we already covered that. 

Then, after church, my favorite charity had a walk to raise money for their organization. The family and I met friends there and had a great time walking for water. When it was over, we all ate cupcakes again! It was fortunate that we had just walked a 5K...

Some of us had a hard time walking the whole thing, and some of us needed to burn some extra calories due to all the cupcake eating, so this set up worked well for both of us. 

After the walk, the husband took the kids home, and my sweet friend and I went to her house to try to get presentable enough to head back to church. 

I love these earrings. 

This particular Sunday just happened to be my last theology class of the semester. I was very happy to go. I honestly can't image a better way to spend part of my birthday. Theology is a love of mine, so it felt like a gift to get to do this on my day. (Cheesy, I know and I don't care. I'm a geek and I know it. )

After church the girls and I headed to another of my favorite places for  a late dinner. 

We do this a lot. It's what keeps us sane. 

My love of cupcakes was celebrated over and over again this weekend. I do love them. A lot. 

This stinker cut herself out of the picture on purpose. This makes me laugh every time I see it. 

My mom got me a precious owl necklace and this. She knows me so well. 

Later the next week, my sweet sister asked my mom to babysit while hubs was at work so we could have a date to celebrate. I had mentioned in conversation a while ago that although I used to love to eat sushi, it was something I never did anymore. (I can't see dragging kids to a sushi restaurant. And what if they *gasp* liked it? I'd go broke.) She remembered that conversation and planned a date where we could go have sushi. I'm not kidding when I say that it was one of the best meals I've had in awhile. 

We then got to go see a movie that I had been wanting to see. I loved spending time with my sister and we always have fun. It was such a great way to end my birthday mardi gras. 

I am so blessed by the friends and family God has gifted me in my life. I felt so celebrated and special after all of this love. Aside from the well meaning people who leaned in and asked how I was handling this "monumental" birthday, turning 40 has been a breeze. 

When you feel this loved and celebrated, how could it be hard? 

Easter

My daughter looked at me during the course of our Easter celebration and said, "Mom, I can't remember last Easter. What did we do?"

Hm. I remembered we went to church at night that Sunday, but that was it. 

"I don't remember," I answered. 

"Aw," she said, sadly.

I decided this was incentive enough to document this Easter. And life more, really. I need to do that for them, and for me. 

So this was Easter. 

We started off at church with the 8 am service. I liked this much better than the night church we did last year. I think I would love a sunrise service even. I'm fine with our church not offering that - I just like the "early" morning aspect of being at church celebrating on Resurrection Sunday. I think being worshipping as the sun rises would be something I'd like to try one day.

Worship was so sweet. A long, intensive study in my own Bible study time in the weeks before Easter  of the time in Jesus' life between the anointing of Him in Bethany until His ascension had been simply amazing. I hope to write another post about that soon, so I won't say much about it now, but all of that study had me so excited to worship with other believers about the beautiful life saving miracle of that Sunday morning. 

It was good. 

I had gotten smart and done most of the pre-cooking for our brunch on Saturday. I even put the food in the oven Sunday morning before we left for church, and set the timer for the oven to come on an hour before we got home so that everything would be heated up and almost ready for us to eat. I'm not sure what possessed me to be so organized and well planned. (It was a total accident, I assure you.) 

 My sweet sister cooked the bacon. It's her job every year, we figured out. She doesn't mind. She's good at it. 

My daughter told me that one of her friend's mom makes home-made orange rolls. While I'm sure that this makes me a bad mother, Sister Schubert's orange rolls are one of my most favorite things in the world. So much so that I took a picture of them. 

They are my favorite. 

I think I said that already. 

We ate and talked and even Bella got to be in on the conversation.

She got no orange rolls, though. I'm sure this made her sad.

She even looks a little sad. 

I think I was a little tired by this point. It was all that cooking the day before. 

And the 7 hours of church I went to on Friday night.

It was also a continuation of my birthday.

 That is always a good thing. 

After brunch, we just relaxed and talked some more. 

The middle kid held his own in a game of Scrabble against the middle sister, with some help from her sweet husband. 

Mimi and the girl kid planned a wedding with a wedding planning DS game. 

They both enjoyed that. 

I'm not sure how much of a contribution the baby kid was to the planning of the nuptials, but he enjoyed the snuggling. 

He then decided that playing Cooties with Dad was a better option. 

They both ended up making the same face. 

After pursuing Twitter, I saw so many sweet family pictures of friends in their Easter outfits. 

I recalled the days when I not only preplanned the kids' outfits, but took time to document them in said outfits. 

Like this:

And this remains my all time favorite Easter picture of all time. (It's worth saying "all time" twice) This is so our family. And this is also probably the reason that I stopped taking Easter pictures. 

But I'm glad I have this one. 

It's my favorite. 

I love it so much that I can't even stop looking at it. 

Anyway...

This is how we do family pictures now:

That little kid (trying to dart out of the picture there on the left) isn't the best photographer, but he's still hilariously funny. 

And a stinker. When it was time to get dressed Sunday morning, instead of just letting the boys get dressed out of their "church clothes drawer" (which is really just nicer shorts and tee shirts) I dug out some nice pants and shirts for a change. 

You know, since it was Easter. 

This kid didn't want to wear his "Easter pants" and shirt. After a few minutes of a struggle, I said, "FINE" and he went and got some of his usual church clothes. Then he couldn't get the shorts buttoned and in my quick frustration in trying to get them buttoned, I bled all over his shorts and shirt. (Note to self, when you cook for Easter the day before, and you decide to use the nice, new sharp knives that a sweet friend gave you instead of the dull knives you got as a wedding present 16 years ago, they will probably actually slice things quickly and easily instead of you having to saw through things with muscle and force. This also includes, unfortunately, your finger that you failed to remove from the path of the knife that will even the next day still bleed without a second's notice.) After this speed bump in the dressing game, I lost my patience and sweetly said yelled, "GO PUT ON THE EASTER PANTS AND SHIRT" and then locked myself in my room so I could brush my hair and teeth and smash myself in my own new birthday/Easter dress and get to church before it was over. 

I just wanted that documented for posterity's sake. 

The family left late in the afternoon, and we all changed and headed outside. I went for a run to try to work off some of the 8.3 million calories I had just consumed (thank you, Sister Schubert) and then collapsed into my new birthday hammock with my new book that the nice people at the 7 hour church service gave out. 

It was a little light reading. 

With a few thoughts to ponder. 

The guys played football and grilled out hot dogs and hamburgers and loved on the neighborhood cat that insists on thinking that she lives here. 

Not everyone is okay with her thinking that. 

That stinky little kid, now safely wearing clothes of his choice, and I laughed and played. 

And showed each other our muscles. 

Then this big kid came home from a neighborhood friend's house, and I wondered if she grew in the couple of hours that she was gone. 

This is also another post brewing in my head. 

The day ended with some tears from a way too tired kid, but I got to snuggle a sleepy, warm person who will all too soon be gone. 

I won't write that post yet. 

It was a sweet, precious Resurrection Sunday. I'm so thankful for God's gift to us in Christ, and for Christ's obedience to His Father in giving His life on the cross. It's the only reason I live. And I'm eternally grateful.