My sweet friend Sandi was all set to travel to Swaziland, Africa (or Switzerland, which ever way to look at it). Then one tiny, sweet, precious miraculous thing happened, and she's here, not in Africa. She posted the blog to the group that went on this journey, without her, that would show their progress and their experiences during their trip. That kinda started things for me.
So I twirled around in this inane sadness for a couple of days, and then Ashley Judd's beautiful face showed up on the Today Show. She spent three weeks in Africa, Rwanda being one of the places she visited, and then came home and spent two weeks in bed. (Now my brain wondered at this and fantasized about spending two weeks in bed - can you imagine??) I snapped back to reality, and listened to some hard, unsettling facts. I mean I knew most of them already (families feed their children every other day because they can't afford to feed them every day, families have so many children that they can't care for or educate them....) but these were the things that broke my heart and sent Ashley Judd to bed for two weeks. The hard realities of the world in which we all live.
Then, to top it all off, in church on Sunday, this huge map of the globe appeared on the screen. Dots highlighted places world wide that members of the church are ministering right now. 3 continents. They started ticking off places that members will be going this summer. I bit my lip and blinked back tears. It's just not time yet.
This all further deepened by funk. It's this itchy, antsy feeling that I need to go. This weird indescribable feeling that makes me feel like I'm coming out of my skin. My aunt used to call it wanderlust-like a gypsy. She said she saw it in me when I was very young. She had it too. I guess I can just call it a sin-like nature now. That's what it is, broken down to it's smallest piece. You can channel it for good. That's why I could honestly sell everything I have, save a few small sentimental things, and head out.
So I get antsy, knowing that it's just not time yet for me to go. There are things I can do here. God is bringing them to my heart. And my head is working over time.
I get so mad at myself. For how I live, what I spend my money on and how I raise my kids. Why do I get to live in a house that is cooled and heated to my upmost comfort? Why do I have food at my finger tips 24 hours a day? Why do I have access to supreme medical care? I guess you could say it's because I'm blessed. I'm not sure that's the case. I can't say I'm blessed when so much of the world can not even find drinkable water. I take long, hot showers to get a break from my world. Or food. I eat for fun. Or clothes. I shop (okay fine, at garage sales, but still) for fun. I think it was the luck of the draw. I seriously doubt that God said, "Okay, Amy, you get to live a life of luxury and privilege."
What kept me from being born in the Sudan? What kept that woman from being born in Birmingham, Alabama? Fairness? A spin of the wheel? A God that wanted her to suffer and not me? How does that work?
We've never known hunger? I've been "poor." Pretty poor compared to the world in which we live in. But never, never poor like these people on my heart are.
And we. As a country. I've been really angry at us. We are self indulgent, selfish, self centered and horrid. That verse, "To whom much is given, MUCH is required" Luke 12:48 has echoed my head all day. We have the GALL to complain about gas prices? We have the AUDACITY to complain about food prices?
Now stop for a minute. I know we are living in rather hard times. I know we are, and my heart is full and hurting for those in our own country that are struggling. I don't know how you can make minimum wage in this country and live. It kills me. I pray for those who are hurting. Kathy Leigh Gifford (I know) asked Ashley Judd about those here in our own country living in poverty. Ashley Judd replied that poor, destitute countries are weak countries. They are a liability for the rest of the world. I get that. I get how horrible that is, and I also get that people here need our help.
I guess my problem with our country is that we have set the standard high for materialism and vast, gross conspicuous consumption. And you know one of the reasons that we are having an oil crunch? It's because people in China and India are driving cars when they used to be riding bikes. And people here are riding bikes that used to drive cars. Those people there just got their cars. They aren't going to stop. They are finally getting to be like us. We've created our own problem. Based on our greed. And then we blame everyone- the government, the oil companies, the other people in the world that are using up all the oil. You know who is to blame? We are. We want to drive our giant cars, when we want to, as much as we want to and we want to do it cheaply.
Don't get me started the way we treat our Earth. Or our bodies. *sigh* I am as much the problem as the next guy, and that's part of the reason I have struggled so much these last couple of weeks. It's me. I do it all. And I don't want to raise my children to be the same way, and I'm afraid it's too late already.
David said on Sunday that kids come up to him at student camps and tell him that they want to go do mission work all over the world and their parents won't let them. I'm sure you can figure out what he had to say about that. While I'm there, I might as well post this because it's been running circles around in my head since Sunday.
"The goal of Biblical parenting is NOT to help your children...
So I twirled around in this inane sadness for a couple of days, and then Ashley Judd's beautiful face showed up on the Today Show. She spent three weeks in Africa, Rwanda being one of the places she visited, and then came home and spent two weeks in bed. (Now my brain wondered at this and fantasized about spending two weeks in bed - can you imagine??) I snapped back to reality, and listened to some hard, unsettling facts. I mean I knew most of them already (families feed their children every other day because they can't afford to feed them every day, families have so many children that they can't care for or educate them....) but these were the things that broke my heart and sent Ashley Judd to bed for two weeks. The hard realities of the world in which we all live.
Then, to top it all off, in church on Sunday, this huge map of the globe appeared on the screen. Dots highlighted places world wide that members of the church are ministering right now. 3 continents. They started ticking off places that members will be going this summer. I bit my lip and blinked back tears. It's just not time yet.
This all further deepened by funk. It's this itchy, antsy feeling that I need to go. This weird indescribable feeling that makes me feel like I'm coming out of my skin. My aunt used to call it wanderlust-like a gypsy. She said she saw it in me when I was very young. She had it too. I guess I can just call it a sin-like nature now. That's what it is, broken down to it's smallest piece. You can channel it for good. That's why I could honestly sell everything I have, save a few small sentimental things, and head out.
So I get antsy, knowing that it's just not time yet for me to go. There are things I can do here. God is bringing them to my heart. And my head is working over time.
I get so mad at myself. For how I live, what I spend my money on and how I raise my kids. Why do I get to live in a house that is cooled and heated to my upmost comfort? Why do I have food at my finger tips 24 hours a day? Why do I have access to supreme medical care? I guess you could say it's because I'm blessed. I'm not sure that's the case. I can't say I'm blessed when so much of the world can not even find drinkable water. I take long, hot showers to get a break from my world. Or food. I eat for fun. Or clothes. I shop (okay fine, at garage sales, but still) for fun. I think it was the luck of the draw. I seriously doubt that God said, "Okay, Amy, you get to live a life of luxury and privilege."
What kept me from being born in the Sudan? What kept that woman from being born in Birmingham, Alabama? Fairness? A spin of the wheel? A God that wanted her to suffer and not me? How does that work?
We've never known hunger? I've been "poor." Pretty poor compared to the world in which we live in. But never, never poor like these people on my heart are.
And we. As a country. I've been really angry at us. We are self indulgent, selfish, self centered and horrid. That verse, "To whom much is given, MUCH is required" Luke 12:48 has echoed my head all day. We have the GALL to complain about gas prices? We have the AUDACITY to complain about food prices?
Now stop for a minute. I know we are living in rather hard times. I know we are, and my heart is full and hurting for those in our own country that are struggling. I don't know how you can make minimum wage in this country and live. It kills me. I pray for those who are hurting. Kathy Leigh Gifford (I know) asked Ashley Judd about those here in our own country living in poverty. Ashley Judd replied that poor, destitute countries are weak countries. They are a liability for the rest of the world. I get that. I get how horrible that is, and I also get that people here need our help.
I guess my problem with our country is that we have set the standard high for materialism and vast, gross conspicuous consumption. And you know one of the reasons that we are having an oil crunch? It's because people in China and India are driving cars when they used to be riding bikes. And people here are riding bikes that used to drive cars. Those people there just got their cars. They aren't going to stop. They are finally getting to be like us. We've created our own problem. Based on our greed. And then we blame everyone- the government, the oil companies, the other people in the world that are using up all the oil. You know who is to blame? We are. We want to drive our giant cars, when we want to, as much as we want to and we want to do it cheaply.
Don't get me started the way we treat our Earth. Or our bodies. *sigh* I am as much the problem as the next guy, and that's part of the reason I have struggled so much these last couple of weeks. It's me. I do it all. And I don't want to raise my children to be the same way, and I'm afraid it's too late already.
David said on Sunday that kids come up to him at student camps and tell him that they want to go do mission work all over the world and their parents won't let them. I'm sure you can figure out what he had to say about that. While I'm there, I might as well post this because it's been running circles around in my head since Sunday.
"The goal of Biblical parenting is NOT to help your children...
- Get a great education
- Be a great athlete
- Go in great dates
- Have a great career
- Make great money
These are things our world says are important. They say these things equal success.
The goal of Biblical parenting is to help your children accomplish the great commission."
Matthew 28:19-20
Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.
So how do I raise my kids to do this? How do I teach them to care about the situation in Africa? The people who are desperate here? That it's not all about them and what they want? Or think they need?
I also don't want to run off to Africa to relieve my guilt about how I live my life. Or how I'm raising my kids. I need to want to do that for the right reason.
I also have a hair brained idea that I have no idea what to do about. I want to create a foundation or a charity that would pay for people to go on mission trips that can't afford to go on their own. I know that churches often help people go, but what about people that aren't affiliated with a church. It would be a ministry opportunity in and of itself to get people to go that don't know Jesus. And reach them as part of the ministry as a whole. I don't know anything about all of this, except I want to do it.
You know, I never really talk to people on this blog. I may say "you" here and there, but mostly what I really mean is "me." I talk to myself. Yes, I know. Crazy. But I don't ever want to assume that anyone reads this blog. That's kinda presumptuous.
But today, I do want to ask YOU a question. Do you care? Do you care about God's creations that are suffering around the world? What you do with that care is up to you. I just want you to care.
There are a couple of organizations that I really love. Samaritan's Purse is one of them. They are well known for the amount of money they put directly into their organization that helps people. They take so little money for operation costs.
http://www.samaritanspurse.org/
Another one we support is the 1040 Connections Organization. For $30 a month, you can support a family in India. Don't get me started on India. I can only take so much in one day.
http://www.1040connections.org/
I don't know. I am asking God to help me see what I can do here. I am praying He'll open up ways for me to use my gifts and my money to help those near and far. And teach my kids to do the same. Will you pray for me in that area???
I think I'll go clean the bathroom now. Can you believe we are fortunate enough to have bathrooms????? I'm not going to complain about having to clean them anymore.
The goal of Biblical parenting is to help your children accomplish the great commission."
Matthew 28:19-20
Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.
So how do I raise my kids to do this? How do I teach them to care about the situation in Africa? The people who are desperate here? That it's not all about them and what they want? Or think they need?
I also don't want to run off to Africa to relieve my guilt about how I live my life. Or how I'm raising my kids. I need to want to do that for the right reason.
I also have a hair brained idea that I have no idea what to do about. I want to create a foundation or a charity that would pay for people to go on mission trips that can't afford to go on their own. I know that churches often help people go, but what about people that aren't affiliated with a church. It would be a ministry opportunity in and of itself to get people to go that don't know Jesus. And reach them as part of the ministry as a whole. I don't know anything about all of this, except I want to do it.
You know, I never really talk to people on this blog. I may say "you" here and there, but mostly what I really mean is "me." I talk to myself. Yes, I know. Crazy. But I don't ever want to assume that anyone reads this blog. That's kinda presumptuous.
But today, I do want to ask YOU a question. Do you care? Do you care about God's creations that are suffering around the world? What you do with that care is up to you. I just want you to care.
There are a couple of organizations that I really love. Samaritan's Purse is one of them. They are well known for the amount of money they put directly into their organization that helps people. They take so little money for operation costs.
http://www.samaritanspurse.org/
Another one we support is the 1040 Connections Organization. For $30 a month, you can support a family in India. Don't get me started on India. I can only take so much in one day.
http://www.1040connections.org/
I don't know. I am asking God to help me see what I can do here. I am praying He'll open up ways for me to use my gifts and my money to help those near and far. And teach my kids to do the same. Will you pray for me in that area???
I think I'll go clean the bathroom now. Can you believe we are fortunate enough to have bathrooms????? I'm not going to complain about having to clean them anymore.
2 comments:
Everything you have said contains all my exact thoughts. I have really struggled lately with the very same issues. We are trying to figure out how we can do more as a family. How did we get so greedy? What can we do without that we now think is a necessity? Lots, I'm sure. I have missed your blog and am now catching up. It feels good.
--i'll try to let you know next time we plan on going downtown to feed the homeless..or anything else in that arena. It's been good for me and the kids, a good reminder and way to teach them to serve...
Post a Comment