We had a crazy, insane week last week on top of a crazy, insane summer.
I was making dinner one night, totally exhausted.
It was a hot, steamy afternoon and the air wasn't working. I was kneeding bread, flour up to my elbows, sweating profusely. I pushed back a strand of hair that escaped from my bun and swatted a fly away from the mound of bread dough I was shaping into a loaf. The kids raced through the kitchen, stirring up the flour off the table, sending it into a swirl into the humid air. There's wasn't enough room in the tiny one bedroom house for the seven of them to play without getting in my way...
Oh wait. That's not me.
{{I think I've been reading too much Southern fiction here lately.}}
But seriously, I was cooking dinner one night, completely exhausted.
And I felt like that lady with the seven kids.
I remember having the fleeting thought, "Well, if I got sick I bet I'd get some rest."
It was a hot, steamy afternoon and the air wasn't working. I was kneeding bread, flour up to my elbows, sweating profusely. I pushed back a strand of hair that escaped from my bun and swatted a fly away from the mound of bread dough I was shaping into a loaf. The kids raced through the kitchen, stirring up the flour off the table, sending it into a swirl into the humid air. There's wasn't enough room in the tiny one bedroom house for the seven of them to play without getting in my way...
Oh wait. That's not me.
{{I think I've been reading too much Southern fiction here lately.}}
But seriously, I was cooking dinner one night, completely exhausted.
And I felt like that lady with the seven kids.
I remember having the fleeting thought, "Well, if I got sick I bet I'd get some rest."
Ah, do be careful what you wish for.
I did get some rest, thanks to a virus.
Our preacher once said that when you are sick, that's a great time for deep thoughts about the sin that got you there. Sick, I mean. Sin is the cause for illness in the world. Use that time, he urged, to ponder sin. And its effect.
I didn't appreciate that too much. I felt bad enough without deeply thinking about the sin that was the reason I was face planted in my bathroom floor.
I really, really hated sin all that night. Especially around 4 o'clock when I just wanted tons of cold ice water and sleep.
But I guess it had the effect he wanted, because as much as I really, really hated sin that night, I realized honestly that I don't hate sin that much when I'm well. As in not sick.
Okay, maybe when someone else's sin stomps all over my life. Or my kids' lives. Or my friends' lives.
But my own sin?
Eh, it's not that bad.
My own pride, snark, fear/anxiety, desire for worldly pleasures, need to gossip, covetousness, vanity, deceitfulness and many many others don't bother me nearly as much as other people's sin bothers me.
Or as much as throwing up does.
See, I hate throwing up more than anything else in the world. It's sort of a joke with some of my friends even. They know. I hate it.
But why don't I hate my sin that much? Why don't I see it's disastrous effects on my life and on those I love? Why don't I feel and abhor the severity of the separation from Christ that I experience when I harbor sin in my life? Hide it? Nurture it? Excuse it?
Justify it?
These aren't the thoughts you want to have when you're trying to keep from dying on the bathroom floor {no, I'm not being dramatic-fine. I am} but it's actually a pretty good time. There's not much else to do but hate the sin that got you on that floor.
And confess it. And ask Him to wash it away. And beg Him to change the heart that allowed it to be there in the first place.
"A desire to walk in holiness comes from where?
~a proper view of God and his holiness
~a proper view of how devastating sin is"
the testimony of the Lord is sure,
making wise the simple;
the commandment of the Lord is pure,
enlightening the eyes;
the rules of the Lord are true,
and righteous altogether.
sweeter also than honey
and drippings of the honeycomb.
Then I shall be blameless,
and innocent of great transgression.
O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.
~Create in me a clean heart, O God. Psalm 51~
Our preacher once said that when you are sick, that's a great time for deep thoughts about the sin that got you there. Sick, I mean. Sin is the cause for illness in the world. Use that time, he urged, to ponder sin. And its effect.
I didn't appreciate that too much. I felt bad enough without deeply thinking about the sin that was the reason I was face planted in my bathroom floor.
I really, really hated sin all that night. Especially around 4 o'clock when I just wanted tons of cold ice water and sleep.
But I guess it had the effect he wanted, because as much as I really, really hated sin that night, I realized honestly that I don't hate sin that much when I'm well. As in not sick.
Okay, maybe when someone else's sin stomps all over my life. Or my kids' lives. Or my friends' lives.
But my own sin?
Eh, it's not that bad.
My own pride, snark, fear/anxiety, desire for worldly pleasures, need to gossip, covetousness, vanity, deceitfulness and many many others don't bother me nearly as much as other people's sin bothers me.
Or as much as throwing up does.
See, I hate throwing up more than anything else in the world. It's sort of a joke with some of my friends even. They know. I hate it.
But why don't I hate my sin that much? Why don't I see it's disastrous effects on my life and on those I love? Why don't I feel and abhor the severity of the separation from Christ that I experience when I harbor sin in my life? Hide it? Nurture it? Excuse it?
Justify it?
These aren't the thoughts you want to have when you're trying to keep from dying on the bathroom floor {no, I'm not being dramatic-fine. I am} but it's actually a pretty good time. There's not much else to do but hate the sin that got you on that floor.
And confess it. And ask Him to wash it away. And beg Him to change the heart that allowed it to be there in the first place.
"A desire to walk in holiness comes from where?
~a proper view of God and his holiness
~a proper view of how devastating sin is"
the testimony of the Lord is sure,
making wise the simple;
the commandment of the Lord is pure,
enlightening the eyes;
the rules of the Lord are true,
and righteous altogether.
sweeter also than honey
and drippings of the honeycomb.
Then I shall be blameless,
and innocent of great transgression.
O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.
Psalm 19
~Create in me a clean heart, O God. Psalm 51~
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