Thoughts on the "weekend"

That’s how it will be known from now on. “The weekend.” 

I’ve thought a lot about what all I did wrong during that weekend. Determined to learn from it all, I’ve thought a lot about it all the last couple of days. 

I tried to sweep the last of the glass up from the drive way today, and instead of sweeping it up, the broom just kind of scattered it. I was reduced to picking up every single shard from the concrete. In the heat. I was not happy. I’m sure there is some huge spiritual connotation there, but really, I just thought about how much of a mess one simple little accident caused. 

You know, kind of like sin.

I know that I’m stubborn. I’ve been told that by no less that 1.3 million people. I also think I can do anything I put my mind to. Obviously that doesn’t always work out. I think that’s why I hated this all so much. Rarely does my determination backfire. That’s a pride issue, for sure, but I know my stubbornness and drive do come in handy from time to time. I think the key is the wisdom to know when to stand strong and when not to.

Okay. That.

I also lost my joy. That’s been the hardest thing. At one point, after a brief lecture from my husband about keeping a good attitude, I retorted with a pretty crude comeback, to which he responded, “I see we still have our sense of humor…” Um, whatever. I didn’t even care that I had a bad attitude. And I quickly lost my sense of humor. I’ve apologized to God and asked Him to forgive me. Oh the illusive joy. Why do you escape me so?

I read something in my study time this morning that really rocked me. It was about Amos (yes, I know I’m behind. Hush.) and the statement was basically that we as Christians don’t want to go to Heaven to finally see our Savior’s face as much as we want to leave here and escape all the turmoil. 

I was taken back by that. When do I express a longing for Heaven mostly? Why when things are hard here. When things are oppressive, hard, neverending heavy issues surrounding every waking moment. Then I say, “THAT’S IT.” Take me home.

Never in the midst of a perfectly wonderful day, or a wonderful time, do I say, “Enough, Lord. Take me home.” 

The closest I come to it is when I truly spend time in praise and worship, and then I really just feel the inescapable urge to see His face. But then I remember all the people that don’t know Him, and I want to stay a little long, no matter how hard it is, to try to help reach them. For Him.

So how does this tie into my weekend? I read this a bit ago, and it stung a bit:

“For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin- real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to
be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be
served, or a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.”~Alfred D. Souza         

To me, it’s a sad commentary on life. The life without the joy of Christ. But even with Christ, which one of us has the perfectly wonderful, blemish free life? I don’t know those people. 

The goal of my heart is to live through the struggles, through “the weekends” and through all that life brings and give Him glory and praise. To be wise in the viewing of the situation. To be thankful for the chance to suffer. 

(Of course I read Romans 5 Monday. Accidentally, of course. Who wants to read that right after “the weekend”? More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, ⁴and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, ⁵and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Romans 5:3-4)

But also I want to purposely express my desire to see my Father and my Savior face to face. Of course, when I was walking this morning, this precious old hymn came on. I love that my church sings hymns from time to time. I wish we sang them more. I adore them, and hate that this particular one seems to be limited to funerals more than anything. It was this verse of “It is Well with my Soul” that made my heart soar this morning:

“And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.”

I mean, come on!!! That will encourage the heart that’s down trodden. Even the one that’s had a “weekend.” 

Yep, even that one.