All for a chicken leg

I was going down the stairs with a huge load of laundry in my arms, and narrowly missed stepping on Laney's plastic chicken leg that was on the stairs. I could see, in my mind's eye, my slipping on that plastic chicken leg, from the KFC play set, and rolling and tumbling down the stairs, laundry flying all over the place. I saw myself striking my head on the table at the bottom of the stairs, and since I'm scared to teach my kids to use 9-1-1, for fear of friendly phone calls to the very cool firemen, I bled to death there amid the scattered laundry.

Can you see Allen at my funeral, telling people I died because I slipped on a plastic chicken leg??? How horrible would that be? He'd HAVE to lie, telling people I died pulling orphans out of a burning orphanage, or something like that. Or some other humanitarian effort... just not the chicken leg.