Monday, April 26, 2010

Thank you

I'm not going to lie. I didn't want to get out of bed this morning. Well, actually, I didn't even want to stay in bed, because there all that was pressing me down was really pressing. So I got up and did what I knew I needed to. I got my Bible. I plowed back in with King David. And I had a feeling that God was about to really just take me where I needed to go.

And boy. did. He. David cried a lot for rescue. And man, who wouldn't? Well, Christ.

John 12:27-28

"...Now My soul as become troubled; and what shall I say, 'Father, save me from this hour? But for this purpose I came to this hour. Father, glorify Your name...' "

Good morning, God. I'm awake now.

Okay, Lord, don't rescue me from my circumstances. Teach me from them. Glorify You through me through them. The circumstances, I mean.

And God sent me straight back to Hebrews 6:11-12:

"...And we desire that each of you show the same diligence so as to realize the full assurance of hope until the end, so that you will not be sluggish, but imitators of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises..."

David got tired. He got weak. He made decisions out of that desperation.

1 Samuel 27:1

"Then David said to himself, "Now I will perish one day by the hand of Saul. There is nothing better for me than to escape into the land of the Philistines. Saul then will despair of searching for me anymore in all the territory of Israel, and I will escape from his hand."

Then verse 2, "So David arose and crossed over..."

And I feel it. I feel his desperation. I feel his panic. I feel his solitude. We know how it works out. I stand on the side, jumping up and down and saying, "DAVID! Hang on!! You're almost there. Just a few more years. (3 actually) HANG ON. Don't lose faith. Don't run out of patience. Don't do it. Don't go...!"

Don't you know that if David knew he had 3 more years, he could have hung in there? It had been 7 already. He was on the downward slope. But he lost faith. And he lost patience. Oh, sweet David. We all would have too. And we do. I do. I am.

But God had 3 more years of things to teach David. He wasn't through with David yet. God couldn't let David go until He had fully prepared him, so that God could get the glory He deserved but also so that David could do his job as well as God wanted him to. David was in boot camp, and he was trying to get out early. He just couldn't take it anymore.

He really thought Saul was going to get him.

So he made a rash decision outside of God's will. The Philistines? Dude, have you forgotten that you slayed a big one of them not all that long ago? Why go to your enemies?

Why do I? Flee to the temporal comforts that I know aren't good for me? What are my Philistines? Don't make me tell you, because I don't want to.

He thought hiding out with the Philistines would protect him from Saul. I'm feeling him. I get it.

"How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily? How long will my enemy be exalted over me?" Psalm 13:1-2

When we visited Peavine Falls, I was shocked at how cold the water was. Shockingly cold and refreshing. I wanted to stand under the water fall and feel that icy cold water flow over me. I didn't, but I felt that way this morning. I felt the Spirit pour out over me this Word. It shocked me out of my... oh whatever I was. I was certainly in need of refreshment. Oh boy was I.

Then I grabbed my music and headed out. I have come to desperately need the time with the Lord that I get pounding the pavement of my neighborhood. I need that time, poured out in front of Him. Meditating on His Word. Praying. Being still before Him. Listening to Him.

I wonder if Pandora knows that God is in charge of their play list? Just as He brought me the Word that I needed from David, He sent me a soundtrack for my time with him:

Hillsong - "Salvation is Here"

God above all the world in motion



God above all my hopes and fears


I don't care what the world throws at me now


It's gonna be alright




Hear the sound of the generations


Making loud our freedom song


All in all that the world would know Your name


It's gonna be alright






'Cause I know my God saved the day


And I know His word never fails


And I know my God made a way for me


Salvation is here






God above all the world in motion


God above all my hopes and fears


I don't care what the world throws at me now


It's gonna be alright



'Cause I know my God saved the day

And I know His word never fails



And I know my God made a way for me


Salvation is here



'Cause I know my God saved the day

And I know His word never fails

And I know my God made a way for me

Salvation is here...







Lincoln Brewster - "Amazed"

You dance over me while I am unaware

You sing all around but I never hear the sound









Lord I'm amazed by You

Lord I'm amazed by You

Lord I'm amazed by You

And how You love me





You paint the morning sky with miracles in mind

My hope will always stand

For You hold me in Your hand





How deep how wide

How great is Your love for me



Shawn McDonald - "I Am Nothing"

I am nothing without You

Only a fly upon the wall

Listening in, hoping to find something about You



That will keep me from this fall



And sometimes I catch a glimpse

And my heart begins to beat

Day by day awaken me

You put the wind beneath my feet



I long for the water

That brings life to me

'cause I long for the truth, oh

That sets man free




I am nothing without You

Only the dirt beneath Your nails

My heart is bruised and it's broken

And my soul is very frail







Please give me a reason

I need to name this man

And no longer this broken treason

Only on You I will stand



I long for the water


That brings life to me

'cause I long for the truth, oh

That sets man free




Please mend these broken wings

And take the scales from my eyes

Without You I am nothing

I will not survive




I long for the water


That brings life to me

'cause I long for the truth, oh

That sets man free




Bethany Dillon - "The Kingdom"

It tapped me on the shoulder today when I got home

I saw everything collecting dust

It made me hope there was something more

I pour over pages, desperate to find out why

The cripple at your table has what I'm longing to find



Teach me how to hum it

Because I don't know the words yet







Help me see the light

I'm reaching through the fight

Yahweh, show me the Kingdom



Arms open wide

Death swallowed up by life

Yahweh, show me the Kingdom



Why are some women barren

While the wicked's house is full

The stories never seem to end

Give me evidence I'm not alone

You said the weak would be lifted up

But maybe just not yet

So while I wait in this flesh and blood

I'll learn to lean in



Help me see the light

I'm reaching through the fight

Yahweh, show me the Kingdom

Arms open wide

Death swallowed up by life

Yahweh, show me the Kingdom




(and there was more.)

Oh, our God is so good. He never leaves nor forsakes us. When He feels so far away, He's there, teaching us, loving us and orchestrating our lives in such a way that we could never, ever even imagine. I have to exercise my faith and my patience while I wait for Him to teach me all that I need to know so that I can be most useful to Him in reaching people for Him and for helping those that already do know Him.

Help me, Lord, not flee to my Philistines. Help me work hard and rest in You. Help me trust You. Help me keep my eyes off my circumstances and keep my eyes on You.

And thank you, Lord, for not ever giving up on me. I would have given up on me long ago. Yet you see in me a heart that wants more than this next breath to serve You. You know my love for You compares to nothing. Nothing even comes close. Help me live that out in every single area of my life, while I'm waiting for you.

*
and on another related note, I'm eschewing all things internet related for this week. And maybe longer. Except for this blog. So if you need me, text me. Or be really 1970's and call me. :)

And here's what we're listening to right now:



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