One of those email forwards

Okay, fine. I know they are cheesy. But every now and then, one comes across that is really what I needed that day. I have been overwhelmed, oppressed, and I'll admit it, downright depressed here lately. I have been trying to figure out how to put it into words, to get it down onto "paper," hoping that cleansing myself of it all, I could somehow be rid of it all. I just couldn't figure out how to express my feelings at all, eloquently or not. I got this email sometime last week, but as behind as I was with emails, it sat in my inbox, waiting patiently. I finally read it today. Just when I really needed it the most.

A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee...

You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners.

She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, 'Tell me what you see.'

'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied. Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?' Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean? Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level?

How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

I've been both a carrot and an egg here lately, waffling back and forth between the two-which ever one was easier at the time. My heart, which was feeling, and my head, who was knowing, were at odds with each other, each battling for control. My heart won hands down. I just let myself feel whatever I felt like feeling and that is dangerous for me. Seldom do what I feel and what I know match up. My feelings tell me things are going to always be this hard. That no one understands, or worse, don't even care. That God has simply decided that He's much too busy to help with my tiny, minute problems that are absolutely bowling me over. If I'm incapable of handling these bumps in the road, than He is going to sit by and wait until I'm mature enough to handle life, then He'll step in and help me when something big comes my way.

I really hate my feelings. Or my flesh. They are one and the same most days. They lie and make it hard to get out of bed. They make me sad, hard to live with and very blah, to say the least.

So this silly little forward reminded me that I am so very capable of being coffee. That's what God has called me to do. And Ephesians even tells me the that the power that raised Jesus from the dead is in me. I have that power. So that power can raise Jesus from the dead, but can't help my attitude have a good day? Please.

Yes, I know what to do. I know how to get out of this funk. It's just the doing part I'm having a hard time with. I'm working on it, though.