Last day of school - 2012/2013 school year

Ah, I cannot even blog about this school year yet. The dust is still swirling around in my head at a hurricane's pace, and all I want to do is locate my clean, organized house. 

That may take awhile.

Let's just say I hope to locate it before it's time to start school back in August. 

{and I can't talk about the fact that we are doing summer school this year. Nope. Not yet.}

But all of that goodness aside, it's my most favorite picture taking day of the year. 

If you knew how many attempts it took for me to get this kid to give me a decent picture...

[it may or may not have ended with me hissing through clenched teeth "if you think you're gonna play video games with your friends tonight, you'd better give me a decent picture first...]

Ah, this baby kid. 

And may I introduce my new favorite picture in the history of the world? 

The baby kid HATES it when the middle kid does this. Can you tell? *H A T E S* 

Just checking. Yep, still doing it.

Cue lots of yelling. Lots.

The girl kid and I couldn't stop laughing. Whew.



And here are the beginning of the school year's pictures:

{{{gosh, why did they grow so much this year? WHY?}}}



 

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Sweet hallelujah, it's summertime. 

Suzee

I dug into the purse in my lap looking for the parking ticket. The downside to an oversized purse is the eternal abyss that it becomes when looking for something elusive as a small piece of paper. I knew it was in there because it dropped it the parking deck and I stepped on it nearly missing it laying there on the concrete in the shuffling of all of my bags while trying to read the signs and navigate the maze that this hospital is all while trying to rush to make the start of visiting hours. 

I leaned back in the chair in the lobby wondering what to do when you lose your parking ticket. I focused on the small group of people huddled in the corner of the lobby. They were all crying and hugging and saying things like, "I knew she'd pull through" and "She's so strong!" and "Prayer really does work!"

I dove back into that purse with renewed determination. I needed out of that lobby. Just when I was ready to give up, I spotted the ticket. I snatched it out, read the directions on the parking payment machine, retrieved the newly stamped ticket and pushed my way into the blinding sunlight.

The day was absolutely gorgeous. Clear and bright-cheerful and green. Promising. 

The antithesis of pathetic fallacy: weeping rain would have been appropriate. 

I was determined not to cry until I was in the safety of the van. I saw him walking towards me long before he saw me. He smiled into each face that passed him: deliberate kindness. His collar was starched stiff and perfectly white. His kind eyes found mine and it was all I could do not to burst into tears. I smiled and hurried faster. 

Across the sidewalk, up an elevator, down a long hall, more elevators and finally my quiet vehicle. 

I opened every window and let the cold wind whip. Where to go? I wasn't ready to be with my sweet people yet. I drove, made a U turn and headed to the only other place I could imagine being.

Don't cry yet

I wasn't ready to let it out. 

I remember the night we became friends. We waited tables together. She was bent over the ice, filling a pitcher, fighting tears. I took the pitcher from her, went to the table that had been giving her fits, poured some sticky sweet Southern charm along with the sweet tea and sent them on their way. She grabbed my hands and said, "thank you..."

We bonded over the trauma of a table full of people completely dissatisfied with the quality of their steak.

I remember the night she got engaged. I remember the day she got married. I got married. She had a son. I got pregnant. She taught me everything I know about pregnancy, childbirth, and how to care for and nurse a baby. How to cosleep. She was who I fled to when I had been dilated four centimeters for two weeks and was afraid to leave the house yet was completely stir crazy. She helped me labor with Laney. Helped me get her here. She's the one who called me to tell me that a plane had crashed into a building on a day in September 2011. We would watch"Trading Spaces" at the same time and talk to each other on the phone while I held a newborn and cried. Her husband worked as much as mine did. She understood. She made me beautiful jewelry. She listened to me. She sat with me. She helped me find work I could do with a small baby. She gave me hand me downs. She fed me, taught me, listened to me and loved me just like I always imagined a (slightly) older sister would. 

She knew me at my worst. Those long years where I had stepped away from most everything good in my life, she had loved me and cared for me. 

I held her hand today. The ventilator breathed for her. The sound was almost deafening in my ears. 

I was walking with my sister around a small lake, later, when her brother called me. 

She's terminal 

I kept looking at the sun dancing on the water, like diamonds sprinkled thickly on the surface. The beauty was in stark contrast to the words that assaulted me through the phone. 

"I think it's actually a large pond..." my sister remarked. She walked beside me. I was so thankful she was there. Comforting. 

I need to Google what in fact makes a body of water a lake or a pond.

I actually thought those words. 

I held her hand, swollen and unrecognizable, and fought back tears. I told her I was sorry. Sorry that she was friends with the person that wasn't the real me. The crazy me. The sin sick me. I told her I was sorry I hadn't been there for her. Sorry that she didn't get to spend time with the person that was rescued. Rescued from the life that could have killed me. Sorry that I escaped and didn't force her to come with me. Sorry for all that had happened to her. Sorry we had drifted apart.

I told her I was saved by Christ and that He had rescued me again. I asked her to trust me. The person that loved her. I asked her to listen to me tell her about the One who was real. The One who saved me from me. Who made me able to live this life. I told her we had to think about heaven and hell, but what I really wanted her to know was that He died in part so she could live this life. This hard, hard life. 

The nurse shyly and apologetically asked me to leave. They had graciously allowed me to overstay my visit. 

I looked back at her. I have to go...

I sat in the waiting room, not knowing what to do.

I noticed a puddle on the floor of the waiting room. The coffee had been brewed incorrectly and had overflowed into the floor. 

The hospital had a coffee disaster too. 

He was neatly dressed. Red cap, plaid shirt buttoned all the way up, black belt cinching his blue jeans that ended just above his white leather shoes. He clutched the phone to his ear.

I just needed to tell someone that my wife is in the hospital...

Was he calling a church? No, a doctor's office I decided. I heard the voice over the phone. A female. Hurried. Busy. "Do you need anything else?" I suppose she thought she was being kind. "No, I guess not," he said. He pressed a button a sat, still.

That's next. I saw my future. Suddenly my world seemed a bit easier. The noise the van was making. The dog knocking my ipad off the chair and cracking the screen. (Another score for the nonanimal lovers out there) The kids and school and the laundry and the house and the shower that is slow to drain, the emails that need answering, the friends struggling, the crushing weight of all that God asks of me and the never ending to do list...

That all got lost in view of the look on that man's face. 

These are the good days.

I saw his face go by the door. I flew to the nurse's station and stood next to him. The words tumbled out: "Hey, I'm Amy and I'm your wife Julie's friend and I go to church with you guys and I am here visiting my friend in the SICU and the coffee overflowed in the waiting room and there's a puddle on the floor and I'm afraid the man in there is going to slip and fall and I know we're in a hospital and he wouldn't have to go far if he got hurt but can I have some paper towels so I can clean it up?"

His kindness was palpable.

"I'm sorry about your friend." I could tell he really was.  He paused. "I'll clean up the coffee."

I didn't want him to have to do that but he did. I'll never forget that. 

I sat there until I talked to her mom on the phone. Her voice was so tired and so sad that I thought my heart would split open.

I made my way to the church. I held back the tears and fought the memories until I sat on the floor in front of the steps that I called an alter and I sobbed and sobbed, asking God to save her. I sat and breathed the quiet. I'm not sure I have ever been that weary. Of it all. 

Soon I was walking around a small lake, or a large pond, and her brother was saying that she was going to die. I told him my story with the gospel in it too.

I yelled at my sister, "People keep dying. If you get within 5 feet of me, I'm going to tell you my story about how Jesus saved me. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of people dying."

My husband has lost three friends lately, two to drug overdoses. A friend of mine's father is clinging to life in a hospital even now. Death seems to be winning. 

So I ran this morning. After I begged the Word to help me do this day. I felt it whispered in my soul

...He was acquainted with grief...

and that same second a raven flew just in front of me. Luke 12~ These birds were unclean and nearly worthless, yet God cared for them. How much more will He care for me? And those I love?

I'm not sure how to stop the flood of memories or how to trust Him completely in this or how to wake up tomorrow and check my phone to see if she lived through the night or how reassure those that I love that is really is going. to. be. okay. even when I'm not totally sure it is. 

I do know how to pour it all out to Him. And I am thanking Him that as I contact other friends from this era that He saved several of us. Married, parents, Christ followers. We emerged. Rescued by Him more than once. I'm praying for her mom, her brother, and especially her two children-13 and 15 years old. The younger a girl that I simply cannot stop thinking about. I hope to make my way to her very soon. I'm praying she'll let me in. I'm praying. Praying. Praying. 

I stepped

 out of the hotel onto the sidewalk.

The first thing I noticed was the blustery wind that whipped around me. I was glad we had brought warm clothes. 

I squinted against the sun and looked around. I needed the valet. We were rushing, late to our next stop. It took me a moment to realize that the mom and daughter in front of me were waiting for their car to arrive. 

I sighed deeply and looked behind me to make sure the kids were out of the way. I motioned them to line up against the wall and looked back to make sure the hubs, who was in the lobby of the hotel, was okay.

I breathed deeply and was taking in the scenery around me when it all happened. It was so quick. So fast. I was tempted to let it go- to let it wash over me like just a quick moment in a quick day.

I looked to my right and simultaneously noticed a man walking toward me and a woman right behind him. He was laden with bags of food and was walking quickly. Just as he got to me, he turned to his left and jogged up the few steps of the hotel into the lobby. Directly behind him, I saw her. She was pursuing him and yelling, "Sir. SIR. SIR..." 

Maybe it was my imagination, but he glanced at me as he turned to go up the steps. Was it panic in his eyes or did I just imagine it?

He darted into the same lobby where my husband waited. The doors slid closed and I looked back to her. She walked up the sidewalk where I stood. I saw my children out of the corner of eye, still plastered to the side of the hotel where I had placed them. 

"Good morning," I said to her, loudly. I smiled.

She startled just a bit, but responded quickly, "Good morning."

She kept walking. She looked back over her left shoulder, just past me, and smiled almost shyly, "I like your lipstick..."

I was taken back, but said, "Thank you" to her back as she walked up the sidewalk. She turned a corner and was gone.

My lipstick?

 Everything froze as stared after her, the wind still whipping around me.

Suddenly the valet was there, standing in front of me. I handed him my ticket and remembered I had pulled out my phone to Google how much to tip him. I had no idea. I punched the letters into my phone as I tried to process what had just happened. 

Had it even been 48 hours since I had heard the sermon on John 4? Had it been a month since I read the chapter over and over again? The woman at the well. She needed Jesus, and He met her there.

That woman needed Jesus. What could I have done? Leave my children on that sidewalk pressed into the stone wall of our hotel while I chased her up the sidewalk? What would I have said? What would I have wanted to do? Grab her hands, look her in the eye and plead with her to leave all of this behind? To take her somewhere safe? To point her toward freedom and peace?

The valet spun our van into the street in front of us and there was a flurry as we loaded our stuff and sorted out which way we needed to go. My thoughts kept going back to her, and I kept seeing her walking quickly up the sidewalk. What could I have done?

We got to our next destination. It was uptown. We had been downtown.

I decided that I preferred downtown. 

I always prefer downtown. 

I walked in front of stores with names like Tiffany & Co, Versace, Michael Kors and Jimmy Cho. I watched the women there. Perfect thin, perfectly dressed, perfectly acceptable. I walked, clutching my coffee, wondering who was better off. Wondering why I couldn't enjoy a simple day in a different city without thinking too much.

Why I couldn't let it just slide by.

How many are there like her out there? Why her?

What could I have done?

I'm tired of wondering what I could have done. Maybe I'm ready to start wishing I hadn't done something, instead of wishing I had. 

I don't know what to do with her still. I think of her. I pray for her. I wish I could go back. And do what I still don't know.

I still can't figure any of this out.

I heard the words again today: evangelism as a lifestyle

Not a checklist, not an obligation, not a hinderance or a burden. A joy. A way of life. 

Fulness of Christ that overflows into all areas of life.

Even to a broken, lost woman in a strange city who like my new lipstick.

I can't figure all of this out. 

I just keep praying. 

Atlanta Spring Break Road Trip '13

Hubs was just coming off a simply insane couple of months of a working crazy long hours. He managed to get three days off at the beginning of spring break. 

"We should take a road trip to Atlanta." The words popped out almost without me thinking about them. 

His eyebrows shot up and he said, "Really?"

I'm sort of a stay-at-home sort of girl so his surprise was warranted. 

"No, never mind."

He grinned. "We're going."

Oh boy. 

I spent a couple of days planning a simple two day trip. With lots of blood, sweat and tears and the help of dear friends, we set out for two solid days of family fun and togetherness. 

One good way to spend a lot of family time? Road trip! We all needed this. We got up too early, handled the not fun logistics of taking off for a couple of days and then headed out. 

The first stop was the Georgia Aquarium. I was so excited about this. I was also super excited that a vacation day also counted as a field trip, which is counted as a school day! But I was just seriously excited about the aquarium, and probably more excited than even the kids were. 

No, they were pretty excited. 

Bubbling with excitement. But they let Mom get her picture. 

First stop: the dolphins! 

The first thing we did was the dolphin show. The middle kid sat in the front in hopes of getting wet. The rest of us opted to sit a few rows back. The show was cute (and sort of cheesy) but I loved the dolphins and decided to put swimming with dolphins on my so far non-existant bucket list. I guess I need to start a bucket list so I can put swimming with dolphins on it. 

The kids are still singing the songs from the show. That makes me laugh. 

I literally bounced up and down with excitement at the next part of the aquarium. 

The kids loved the people mover and quickly turned it into a toy. 

The giant aquarium was just spectacular. I literally could have stayed there all day. There just aren't words to describe how beautiful it was, and I couldn't help but be excited about the prospect of the new earth. I kept thinking about how exciting it's going to be to live in a world where creation is perfect. There is just something about watching all of those animals that made my heart sing in praise. 

It was so fun to get up close and personal with these animals. 

Is it too much to ask for a house that has a ceiling as an aquarium? I mean, it's so calming and soothing. 

The girl kid kept quoting Finding Nemo: "I am a pi-ra-nha..." 

which made me laugh, except that fish really just wanted to eat us for dinner. 

I can see it in his eyes. 

The jelly fish are my favorite. 

I think I have lots of favorites. 

I could watch these things all day.

What was that movie where Will Smith had a jellyfish tank in his living room?

Never mind. That might be a bad movie. 

But I want a jelly fish tank in my living room. 

This tank was so beautiful. I could have stayed here all day. 

Can I just live in the aquarium?

We both loved it. 

We really loved this guy. 

And I really love this guy. 

Leaving the aquarium. 

One of us was not happy with something. I forget what. 

We thought about going to the Coke museum, but it was too expensive for how late in the day it was, and I was already twitching about the money we were spending, so we opted for a free walk through Centennial Park in search of coffee.

It was a really great walk. We walked by the CNN center and just enjoyed looking around. It felt good to be in a different city.

When we were on the way back to the parking deck it occurred to me that in my excitement of getting to the aquarium, I had not looked at which level it was where we parked. 

I asked hubs if he knew and the girl kid shouted, "496!"

We were both really surprised, but when we got back to the van, yep. She was right. Crazy. I guess an obsession with numbers is genetic, although my obsession failed me this time. Luckily she was there as a back up!

It was time for us to find our hotel. Luckily this trip was made super easy by Siri. She told us where to go, and never not once led us the wrong way. We actually saw a man looking at a real paper map, and I verbally thanked God for Siri and the fact that I hopefully won't ever have to look at a paper map again. I also proved how I get lost even with Siri. I would have to give the phone to the hubs at times when I still couldn't figure out which way to tell him to go. 

He assured me I had other strengths. Thankfully.

I had booked the hotel rather blindly, but I have to say it was absolutely wonderful. 

We were on the 16th floor. 

Turner Field! 

We just chilled. 

There was so much to see. The middle kid and I lay on the bed and looked out the window for the longest time. We were mesmerized. 

I loved loved loved the bathroom. Our house isn't modern at all, but if I were to start over, I might do bright colors like this. They made me so happy.

Shortly after getting to our room, we realized bad weather was heading our way. 

One of us was really worried. 

While she worried, the baby kid and I played cards. 

 And I just couldn't stop taking pictures of the room.

I want a red couch. 

It was so cool to watch the storm roll in. 

Here's where it occurred to me that other than being in a condo at the beach, our kids have never been in a hotel. The baby kid wanted to read the Book of Mormon, the middle kid thought a shuttle referred to the space shuttle and they couldn't not wrap their brains around me putting ice into a "garbage can."

My sweet little sheltered kids. 

Since bad weather threatened, we decided to order in Chinese food and eat and watch the rain. 

That was perfect. 

Nighttime brought the most beautiful views. 

The super wonderful red couch made a bed for the baby kid. He was so excited. Can't you tell?

He really was. 

As luck would have it, one of our favorite movies was on. The kids snuggled in their bed and we all watched the second Lord of the Rings movie. I soon noticed that we could see the Atlanta airport from our window too. You could see the airplanes coming in and taking off in the distance. It was so beautiful and relaxing to just watch planes land, so I spent the commercials doing that. (those planes come in so close together. I never realized that. and there were planes coming in one after the other for hours on end. so crazy.) I also realized how amazing and relaxing it was not to have anything to do. No cooking, no cleaning, nothing for school or anything. Just resting. Watching a movie and planes land. That was good. Really, really good. 

The next day, we were on to phase two of the road trip extravaganza.

Okay, family joke ahead. As we left the hotel, the baby kid suddenly bellowed: "It's the Taj Mahal!!!!!" We all burst into laughter and the girl kid said, "NO! That's in INDIA!" 

So for the rest of the trip every time we saw this building, one of us would yell, "It's the Taj Mahal!" 

Onward away from the Taj Mahal...

Excitement abounds. 

The middle kid was nearly beside himself.

We loved this mini-city. We saw this building yesterday! 

We were heading there later! 

Turner field! 

There we are at the aquarium! (not really but sort of)

Friends and I were just talking about Stone Mountain. I need to take the family. I haven't been there in more than 10 years, and I love that place. 

Look kids, Tah Mahal! 

We all laughed out loud when we saw that. Whew. 

The hubs got us caffeinated, which was much appreciated. 

While everyone was occupied, I snuck out to peruse the "fancy" mall. 

I honestly could not remember the last time I was in a mall, and I was decidedly unimpressed. 

This was pretty, though. 

After Legoland, we hit my request for lunch. My friend Jackie introduced me to this treasure a few years ago, and I couldn't wait to get back. 

Everyone loved it. 

I made my QB1 pose by this guy. He was unimpressed by this request, but obliged me. 

He added later that he's embracing his roll as running back more than quarterback, so there you go. Running back. Okay. 

Or last stop was one I was also very excited about. 

I mean,  you know, they are: 

(and they are so sweet to think I'm as funny as I think I am)

Part of the reason I was so excited about this stop was that the girl kid got a chance to see her "favorite" animal in person. She was so happy.

There are three pandas at this zoo, and we stood and watched them for the longest time. 

And took tons of pictures. 

It was so cool to see so many animals up close. 

I think he wanted me for lunch. 

I love this picture so much. Aside from the obvious tourists that we are, they are just done. Ready to go home. I knew I had gotten out of them everything I could. It was time to go. 

And I was sad. It was just a perfect trip, and I didn't want it to end. 

We made it home in good time, and as a consolation for the return home, the hubs got me my favorite take out. I repaid the kindness by going to sleep at 9 that night. We were all exhausted. But it was a happy exhaustion. I'm so glad I snuck out of my comfort zone and planned a road trip. It was so worth it.