I stepped

 out of the hotel onto the sidewalk.

The first thing I noticed was the blustery wind that whipped around me. I was glad we had brought warm clothes. 

I squinted against the sun and looked around. I needed the valet. We were rushing, late to our next stop. It took me a moment to realize that the mom and daughter in front of me were waiting for their car to arrive. 

I sighed deeply and looked behind me to make sure the kids were out of the way. I motioned them to line up against the wall and looked back to make sure the hubs, who was in the lobby of the hotel, was okay.

I breathed deeply and was taking in the scenery around me when it all happened. It was so quick. So fast. I was tempted to let it go- to let it wash over me like just a quick moment in a quick day.

I looked to my right and simultaneously noticed a man walking toward me and a woman right behind him. He was laden with bags of food and was walking quickly. Just as he got to me, he turned to his left and jogged up the few steps of the hotel into the lobby. Directly behind him, I saw her. She was pursuing him and yelling, "Sir. SIR. SIR..." 

Maybe it was my imagination, but he glanced at me as he turned to go up the steps. Was it panic in his eyes or did I just imagine it?

He darted into the same lobby where my husband waited. The doors slid closed and I looked back to her. She walked up the sidewalk where I stood. I saw my children out of the corner of eye, still plastered to the side of the hotel where I had placed them. 

"Good morning," I said to her, loudly. I smiled.

She startled just a bit, but responded quickly, "Good morning."

She kept walking. She looked back over her left shoulder, just past me, and smiled almost shyly, "I like your lipstick..."

I was taken back, but said, "Thank you" to her back as she walked up the sidewalk. She turned a corner and was gone.

My lipstick?

 Everything froze as stared after her, the wind still whipping around me.

Suddenly the valet was there, standing in front of me. I handed him my ticket and remembered I had pulled out my phone to Google how much to tip him. I had no idea. I punched the letters into my phone as I tried to process what had just happened. 

Had it even been 48 hours since I had heard the sermon on John 4? Had it been a month since I read the chapter over and over again? The woman at the well. She needed Jesus, and He met her there.

That woman needed Jesus. What could I have done? Leave my children on that sidewalk pressed into the stone wall of our hotel while I chased her up the sidewalk? What would I have said? What would I have wanted to do? Grab her hands, look her in the eye and plead with her to leave all of this behind? To take her somewhere safe? To point her toward freedom and peace?

The valet spun our van into the street in front of us and there was a flurry as we loaded our stuff and sorted out which way we needed to go. My thoughts kept going back to her, and I kept seeing her walking quickly up the sidewalk. What could I have done?

We got to our next destination. It was uptown. We had been downtown.

I decided that I preferred downtown. 

I always prefer downtown. 

I walked in front of stores with names like Tiffany & Co, Versace, Michael Kors and Jimmy Cho. I watched the women there. Perfect thin, perfectly dressed, perfectly acceptable. I walked, clutching my coffee, wondering who was better off. Wondering why I couldn't enjoy a simple day in a different city without thinking too much.

Why I couldn't let it just slide by.

How many are there like her out there? Why her?

What could I have done?

I'm tired of wondering what I could have done. Maybe I'm ready to start wishing I hadn't done something, instead of wishing I had. 

I don't know what to do with her still. I think of her. I pray for her. I wish I could go back. And do what I still don't know.

I still can't figure any of this out.

I heard the words again today: evangelism as a lifestyle

Not a checklist, not an obligation, not a hinderance or a burden. A joy. A way of life. 

Fulness of Christ that overflows into all areas of life.

Even to a broken, lost woman in a strange city who like my new lipstick.

I can't figure all of this out. 

I just keep praying.