Then go back to the beginning and read the most current ones. Now.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
read. this. now.
http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/2010/02/she-was-eighteen-years-old-and-she-had.html
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Be Encouraged
I'm going to have to talk about Ruth Graham some more. Be patient. Soon I'll just quote her to myself, in my own head, instead of here and there. I'm sad I'll never get to have coffee with her, but I can't wait to hug her in Heaven. I think I have a small glimpse into her heart, after having spent these last few weeks with her. And I hope I'm not incorrect in saying that I think she would want me to share this with you, copyright infringement notwithstanding. I hope.
I've talked with so many moms here lately that are struggling, myself including. Motherhood, although the greatest blessing, is also the greatest challenge I face. It's just hard a lot of the times. Of course God is faithful in helping me in my struggles, but honestly, there are times that I want to just say, "Heck, this is HARD." without following it up with some grandiose statement of faith.
I think I had also get these ideas in my mind that not all moms struggle like I do. It's hard to share our problems or issues because of a plethora of reasons. So I was looking for some encouragement from a mom who had 5 kids, and pretty much raised them on her own. Surely there were some lessons that I could learn from her-some practical advice worthy of putting to use here.
This is from her book, It's My Turn.
"Dear Journal,
Reading again from Exodus 33:12-16. This job of training five little grahams to be good soldiers of Jesus Christ is too big for me, who am not a good soldier myself. Feeling particularly distracted (or should I say overwhelmed and confused) this morning, I have been looking to the Lord asking, "Where, from here?"
Bill will be leaving soon for the San Francisco meeting. And I almost have a sinking feeling. Not altogether a left-behind sort of feeling, but a swamped, knowing that all the things I have depended on other to do, I shall have to do myself.
And things have not been going smoothly. There is a terrible amount of fighting amoung the children, ugliness and back talk from GiGi, and peevishness on my part backed by sporadic, uncertain discipline.
I am not walking in the Lord's way at all. I am doing what I feel like doing rather than what I ought to do. These verses hit me hard: "She who is self indulgent is dead even while she lives" (1 Timothy 5:6 rsv), and "The fruit of the Spirit is... self control" (Galations 5:22, 23)
Self-indulgence is doing what we want rather than what we ought. I had always thought of self-control applying to tempter or to drink. But what about the almonds in the pantry, the ice cream and chocolate sauce, the candy which I know will add unnecessary pounds and make my face break out? What about controlling my tongue? My tone of voice? Standing up straight? Writing letters? All these and more more need controlling.
And I don't look well to the ways of my household. Regular family prayers at supper table. Children's clothes kept mended and neat and organized. Getting ready for Sunday on Saturday. Well, there's no use going into it all. It just boils down to the fact that I am not being a good mother.
So I took it to Him this morning. I want above everything to be the kind of person He wants. If He had His undisputed way in me I would be. Everything would solve itself. The place to begin is here, the time to begin is now. And as I reread Exodus 33:12-16, the phrase that jumped out at me, which I had never noticed before, was: "Show me now THY way."
P.S. I could not help but chuckle when I read a quote from Mr. Abba Eban in the London Times (June 13, 1980): "...Israelis are not renowned for any spontaneous tendency to agree with one another."
(Neither were little Grahams.)
Oh, isn't it refreshing, to see how motherhood affects even those we think probably has it all together? And I am inspired by the way she sank into the Word. I mean who turns to Exodus to look for reassurance for parenting worries? Unless you already know what's there. (Actually it makes great sense, on second thought. Moses was parenting all those Israelites, really.) We HAVE to be in the Word. We can't rely on His promises unless we know what His promises are and where they are. I am recommitted to turning to the Word for any and all times that I feel off balance. Oh the joys and balms for the soul that are there.
Okay, one more and I'm done.
" 'There is no situation so chaotic that God cannot from that situation, create something that is surpassingly good. He did it at the creation. He did it at the cross. He is doing it today. ' Bishop Moule
It was early in the morning in another country. Exhausted as I was, I awoke around three o'clock. The name of someone I loved dearly flashed into my mind. It was like an electric shock. Instantly I was wide awake. I knew there would be no more sleep for me the rest of the night. So I lay there and prayed for the one who was trying hard to run away from God. When it was dark and the imagination runs wild, there are fears that only a mother can understand.
Suddenly the Lord said to me, Quit studying the problems and start studying the promises. Now God has never spoken to me audibly, but there is no mistaking when He speaks.
So I turned on the light, got out my Bible, and the first verse that came to me was Philippians 4:6: "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God." And verse 7: "And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Or as the Amplified Version has it, "Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything by prayer and petition [definite requests] with thanksgiving continue to make your wants known to God..." (my italics).
Suddenly I realized the missing ingredient in my prayers had been "with thanksgiving." So I put down my Bible and spent time worshiping Him for who He is and what He is. This covers more territory than any one mortal can comprehend. Even contemplating what little we do know dissolves doubts, reinforces faith, and restores joy. I began to thank God for giving me this one I loved so dearly in the first place. I even thanked Him for the difficult spots which taught me so much.
And you know what happened? It was as if suddenly someone turned on the lights in my mind and heart, and the little fears and worries which, like mice and cockroaches, had been nibbling away in the darkness, suddenly scuttled for cover.
That was when I learned that worship and worry cannot live in the same heart: they are mutually exclusive."
Tears of joy, giving God thanks for allowing this precious woman to bless and encourage me. I love you, Ruth.
I've talked with so many moms here lately that are struggling, myself including. Motherhood, although the greatest blessing, is also the greatest challenge I face. It's just hard a lot of the times. Of course God is faithful in helping me in my struggles, but honestly, there are times that I want to just say, "Heck, this is HARD." without following it up with some grandiose statement of faith.
I think I had also get these ideas in my mind that not all moms struggle like I do. It's hard to share our problems or issues because of a plethora of reasons. So I was looking for some encouragement from a mom who had 5 kids, and pretty much raised them on her own. Surely there were some lessons that I could learn from her-some practical advice worthy of putting to use here.
This is from her book, It's My Turn.
"Dear Journal,
Reading again from Exodus 33:12-16. This job of training five little grahams to be good soldiers of Jesus Christ is too big for me, who am not a good soldier myself. Feeling particularly distracted (or should I say overwhelmed and confused) this morning, I have been looking to the Lord asking, "Where, from here?"
Bill will be leaving soon for the San Francisco meeting. And I almost have a sinking feeling. Not altogether a left-behind sort of feeling, but a swamped, knowing that all the things I have depended on other to do, I shall have to do myself.
And things have not been going smoothly. There is a terrible amount of fighting amoung the children, ugliness and back talk from GiGi, and peevishness on my part backed by sporadic, uncertain discipline.
I am not walking in the Lord's way at all. I am doing what I feel like doing rather than what I ought to do. These verses hit me hard: "She who is self indulgent is dead even while she lives" (1 Timothy 5:6 rsv), and "The fruit of the Spirit is... self control" (Galations 5:22, 23)
Self-indulgence is doing what we want rather than what we ought. I had always thought of self-control applying to tempter or to drink. But what about the almonds in the pantry, the ice cream and chocolate sauce, the candy which I know will add unnecessary pounds and make my face break out? What about controlling my tongue? My tone of voice? Standing up straight? Writing letters? All these and more more need controlling.
And I don't look well to the ways of my household. Regular family prayers at supper table. Children's clothes kept mended and neat and organized. Getting ready for Sunday on Saturday. Well, there's no use going into it all. It just boils down to the fact that I am not being a good mother.
So I took it to Him this morning. I want above everything to be the kind of person He wants. If He had His undisputed way in me I would be. Everything would solve itself. The place to begin is here, the time to begin is now. And as I reread Exodus 33:12-16, the phrase that jumped out at me, which I had never noticed before, was: "Show me now THY way."
P.S. I could not help but chuckle when I read a quote from Mr. Abba Eban in the London Times (June 13, 1980): "...Israelis are not renowned for any spontaneous tendency to agree with one another."
(Neither were little Grahams.)
Oh, isn't it refreshing, to see how motherhood affects even those we think probably has it all together? And I am inspired by the way she sank into the Word. I mean who turns to Exodus to look for reassurance for parenting worries? Unless you already know what's there. (Actually it makes great sense, on second thought. Moses was parenting all those Israelites, really.) We HAVE to be in the Word. We can't rely on His promises unless we know what His promises are and where they are. I am recommitted to turning to the Word for any and all times that I feel off balance. Oh the joys and balms for the soul that are there.
Okay, one more and I'm done.
" 'There is no situation so chaotic that God cannot from that situation, create something that is surpassingly good. He did it at the creation. He did it at the cross. He is doing it today. ' Bishop Moule
It was early in the morning in another country. Exhausted as I was, I awoke around three o'clock. The name of someone I loved dearly flashed into my mind. It was like an electric shock. Instantly I was wide awake. I knew there would be no more sleep for me the rest of the night. So I lay there and prayed for the one who was trying hard to run away from God. When it was dark and the imagination runs wild, there are fears that only a mother can understand.
Suddenly the Lord said to me, Quit studying the problems and start studying the promises. Now God has never spoken to me audibly, but there is no mistaking when He speaks.
So I turned on the light, got out my Bible, and the first verse that came to me was Philippians 4:6: "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God." And verse 7: "And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Or as the Amplified Version has it, "Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything by prayer and petition [definite requests] with thanksgiving continue to make your wants known to God..." (my italics).
Suddenly I realized the missing ingredient in my prayers had been "with thanksgiving." So I put down my Bible and spent time worshiping Him for who He is and what He is. This covers more territory than any one mortal can comprehend. Even contemplating what little we do know dissolves doubts, reinforces faith, and restores joy. I began to thank God for giving me this one I loved so dearly in the first place. I even thanked Him for the difficult spots which taught me so much.
And you know what happened? It was as if suddenly someone turned on the lights in my mind and heart, and the little fears and worries which, like mice and cockroaches, had been nibbling away in the darkness, suddenly scuttled for cover.
That was when I learned that worship and worry cannot live in the same heart: they are mutually exclusive."
Tears of joy, giving God thanks for allowing this precious woman to bless and encourage me. I love you, Ruth.
satan ate my blog
So I had the chance to go to my first Secret Church last November. It was on Spiritual Warfare. I had listened to some Secret Church online, so I basically knew what I was getting into. I don't think I was quite prepared, though.
Off we went, and it wasn't very long before my brain came to a screeching halt. Pastor David said something that didn't sit right with me, so I had to look it up. Now normally, when I pause Pastor David on my computer, I research what I need to, and then hit play and resume where I left off. Uh, yeah, not at Secret Church. Once I got back with the program, he was about 4 pages from where I left off. I looked at my friend who was with me, and we almost lost it. Several people asked me later if I liked it, and I answered like this: "Um, well....."
I did like it, but it was almost too much information for me to take in at one time. I rather think I would like to listen at my own pace. Pause, research, ponder and then resume. Heck, I get lost in a one hour sermon with my questions and needs to dive into "that" further. Can you imagine me in a 6ish hour sermon? Brutal.
Normal people don't have these troubles, I'd like to add.
Another Secret Church is coming up, and No, I haven't decided if I'm going yet. ;) I'm praying over that one. But YOU should definitely go. Here's the link:
So anyway, the last Secret Church was on Spiritual Warfare. Here's the link if you want to give it a whirl. Go ahead. You can pause it when you need to:
http://www.brookhills.org/media/schurch/angels-demons-and-spiritual-warfare/
It was good for me, because this is an area where I actually, definitely don't spend a lot of time thinking. Maybe that was why I was so overwhelmed. I still want to go back and do more research on what I heard. See if I can get answers to some of my questions. But it did teach me to think differently about things that are happening in my life. To recognize that way more happens than I realize it does in the spiritual realms. To pray differently.
Back to yesterday. I have been really struggling with my blog lately. Honestly I just haven't felt like sludging through what's in my brain enough to make sense of it to get it all out. But Saturday morning, God very pointedly told me to get my Leviticus post out. He reminded me that I just need to obey Him, even when it comes to a silly little blog. And He let me see this time why it is so important to obey. I was blessed by my obedience. Tremendously.
He reminded me that I had a couple of other posts to get out too. I will obey, but I'm not gonna lie. It's kind of hard to put yourself out there like this. It's not easy. I also know that my God LOVES "not easy." And I'm glad.
And so I was working on this blog yesterday, and suddenly, it went all wonky. It was unreadable. I fiddled it with it as much as I could, but it stubbornly refused to correct itself. I waited until this morning, to see if it would correct itself overnight (!) and it didn't. The first thing that flew out of my mouth this morning was, "satan ate my blog."
Now I don't know if he really did. I don't know if he really cares about my blog at all. (Someone wrote a piece last week called, "God doesn't care about your blog." That has rang in my head all week.) But I think that I'm getting to a point in my life where not much is going to go unnoticed by satan. And I'm cool with that. I know that I'm under the hedge of protection of my Savior who has already written of satan's destruction. I know that whatever comes to me, God has allowed. So I'm good with that.
But, it made me reflect on that Secret Church and what I learned there. And maybe this wasn't exactly the take away, but I need to see everything in my life through spiritual glasses. Yeah, maybe my silly little nothing of a blog just had a glitch that made it unreadable. Or maybe, just maybe, because the inexplicable way that God keeps using this thing, maybe because of my obedience to God with it or just because, satan decided to try to mess it up. At least I need to be open to that possibility.
And I need to go get out my Secret Church notes. And review all 783 pages of them. Seems like it might be a good time to do so.
Off we went, and it wasn't very long before my brain came to a screeching halt. Pastor David said something that didn't sit right with me, so I had to look it up. Now normally, when I pause Pastor David on my computer, I research what I need to, and then hit play and resume where I left off. Uh, yeah, not at Secret Church. Once I got back with the program, he was about 4 pages from where I left off. I looked at my friend who was with me, and we almost lost it. Several people asked me later if I liked it, and I answered like this: "Um, well....."
I did like it, but it was almost too much information for me to take in at one time. I rather think I would like to listen at my own pace. Pause, research, ponder and then resume. Heck, I get lost in a one hour sermon with my questions and needs to dive into "that" further. Can you imagine me in a 6ish hour sermon? Brutal.
Normal people don't have these troubles, I'd like to add.
Another Secret Church is coming up, and No, I haven't decided if I'm going yet. ;) I'm praying over that one. But YOU should definitely go. Here's the link:
So anyway, the last Secret Church was on Spiritual Warfare. Here's the link if you want to give it a whirl. Go ahead. You can pause it when you need to:
http://www.brookhills.org/media/schurch/angels-demons-and-spiritual-warfare/
It was good for me, because this is an area where I actually, definitely don't spend a lot of time thinking. Maybe that was why I was so overwhelmed. I still want to go back and do more research on what I heard. See if I can get answers to some of my questions. But it did teach me to think differently about things that are happening in my life. To recognize that way more happens than I realize it does in the spiritual realms. To pray differently.
Back to yesterday. I have been really struggling with my blog lately. Honestly I just haven't felt like sludging through what's in my brain enough to make sense of it to get it all out. But Saturday morning, God very pointedly told me to get my Leviticus post out. He reminded me that I just need to obey Him, even when it comes to a silly little blog. And He let me see this time why it is so important to obey. I was blessed by my obedience. Tremendously.
He reminded me that I had a couple of other posts to get out too. I will obey, but I'm not gonna lie. It's kind of hard to put yourself out there like this. It's not easy. I also know that my God LOVES "not easy." And I'm glad.
And so I was working on this blog yesterday, and suddenly, it went all wonky. It was unreadable. I fiddled it with it as much as I could, but it stubbornly refused to correct itself. I waited until this morning, to see if it would correct itself overnight (!) and it didn't. The first thing that flew out of my mouth this morning was, "satan ate my blog."
Now I don't know if he really did. I don't know if he really cares about my blog at all. (Someone wrote a piece last week called, "God doesn't care about your blog." That has rang in my head all week.) But I think that I'm getting to a point in my life where not much is going to go unnoticed by satan. And I'm cool with that. I know that I'm under the hedge of protection of my Savior who has already written of satan's destruction. I know that whatever comes to me, God has allowed. So I'm good with that.
But, it made me reflect on that Secret Church and what I learned there. And maybe this wasn't exactly the take away, but I need to see everything in my life through spiritual glasses. Yeah, maybe my silly little nothing of a blog just had a glitch that made it unreadable. Or maybe, just maybe, because the inexplicable way that God keeps using this thing, maybe because of my obedience to God with it or just because, satan decided to try to mess it up. At least I need to be open to that possibility.
And I need to go get out my Secret Church notes. And review all 783 pages of them. Seems like it might be a good time to do so.
Monday, March 1, 2010
I'm scared
And I hate to admit it. But I am. And I'd like to add that this will probably be my most popular blog post ever. It's gonna be awesome.
So last week, Francis Chan posts a video of Christian missionaries being persecuted in Orissa, India. I read that there is a small chance that the persecution is actually political and not religious, but nonetheless, Francis Chan got a lot of people thinking, talking and praying.
Since I am currently obsessed with Ruth Bell Graham, I'm reading every book I can get my hands on about her. She grew up with her family in China where her father was a doctor/missionary. She writes of all that their missionary friends went through. The persecution, the death.
I was already thinking about this after reading Ruth's book, and then the Chan video happened. I've been thinking about this for a long time, really. I've blogged before about how easy we have it in this country when it comes to religious persecution. We know nothing of religious persecution. We have NONE.
I mean my faith costs me SO little. It costs me nothing. I've actually sat in church and though about how easy it is to worship in this country. I sit there and think about men coming in the sanctuary with machine guns. I think about what it it were dangerous to come to church. What if it could literally could cost me my life? Would I go? What if they dragged my pastor out and killed him? Or others worshiping there? I know I'm not the only one who thinks these things, and doing so definitely doesn't make me a better person. Let me just get that out there.
So after reading about this religious persecution last week, I had to go back over all this in my mind. Ask myself some hard questions.
Would I die for Christ? Absolutely. Oh please, kill me now and I'll open my eyes and see Jesus. Despite my misgivings about Heaven, seeing Jesus is something I think about often. I just can't wait to see Him. So yes, kill me dead, please.
But what about torture? Physical torture? Would I ever renounce Christ because of physical torture?
And what about my kids. Kill my kids, sure. They'll see Jesus too. But what if I had to watch someone torture my kids? That would be the worst. I just can't even imagine.
But it happened to some of Ruth Graham's friends. This century. In China.
And why do I need to think about this anyway? I don't know. I think for me, it seems as though I've drawn a line in the sand with how far I'd go to serve Christ. Kill me, fine. Kill my husband, fine. Kill my kids, good. Torture me, my husband or my kids? I don't have an answer.
I've thought a lot about Jesus in the garden too. He didn't want to go through with it. He asked for the cup to pass from Him. I think that it was the separation from God that was the thing he feared the most. The wrath from God for the sin He carried. I wonder, though, if the physical agony he knew He was going to endure made him fearful before hand. I mean he was fully man, and fully God. Did the man part fear the physical part of the process He was going to go through?
Now I know that there are things that God gives us the grace for only once we get there. Not that I think that torture would be easy by any stretch of the imagination. It's horrific, and that's why it's used. I do know if that's what God has called me to, He'll get me through it.
I think too that this is all just how God is sizing me up a little. Seeing just how serious I am about what I'm willing to give up. I'm so fine with giving up my home, my car, my country even. Actually, if I got to give up those things, I'd be ecstatic. But giving up physical comfort and security seems to be a sticking point for me, and it seems to me to be a serious flaw in my Christian character. I'm having trouble reconciling the part of me that says, "Oh yes, Lord, use me greatly. Just don't let me be physically compromised for You."
Doesn't that make God sick? That my love has limits?
I am still praying this out. I also know that God loves me, in spite of my faults. I really want to get to the point where I can say that I'm so in love with the God I serve that I don't care what happens to me this side of heaven. I'm not there yet. And I'm desperately sorry for that.
So last week, Francis Chan posts a video of Christian missionaries being persecuted in Orissa, India. I read that there is a small chance that the persecution is actually political and not religious, but nonetheless, Francis Chan got a lot of people thinking, talking and praying.
Since I am currently obsessed with Ruth Bell Graham, I'm reading every book I can get my hands on about her. She grew up with her family in China where her father was a doctor/missionary. She writes of all that their missionary friends went through. The persecution, the death.
I was already thinking about this after reading Ruth's book, and then the Chan video happened. I've been thinking about this for a long time, really. I've blogged before about how easy we have it in this country when it comes to religious persecution. We know nothing of religious persecution. We have NONE.
I mean my faith costs me SO little. It costs me nothing. I've actually sat in church and though about how easy it is to worship in this country. I sit there and think about men coming in the sanctuary with machine guns. I think about what it it were dangerous to come to church. What if it could literally could cost me my life? Would I go? What if they dragged my pastor out and killed him? Or others worshiping there? I know I'm not the only one who thinks these things, and doing so definitely doesn't make me a better person. Let me just get that out there.
So after reading about this religious persecution last week, I had to go back over all this in my mind. Ask myself some hard questions.
Would I die for Christ? Absolutely. Oh please, kill me now and I'll open my eyes and see Jesus. Despite my misgivings about Heaven, seeing Jesus is something I think about often. I just can't wait to see Him. So yes, kill me dead, please.
But what about torture? Physical torture? Would I ever renounce Christ because of physical torture?
And what about my kids. Kill my kids, sure. They'll see Jesus too. But what if I had to watch someone torture my kids? That would be the worst. I just can't even imagine.
But it happened to some of Ruth Graham's friends. This century. In China.
And why do I need to think about this anyway? I don't know. I think for me, it seems as though I've drawn a line in the sand with how far I'd go to serve Christ. Kill me, fine. Kill my husband, fine. Kill my kids, good. Torture me, my husband or my kids? I don't have an answer.
I've thought a lot about Jesus in the garden too. He didn't want to go through with it. He asked for the cup to pass from Him. I think that it was the separation from God that was the thing he feared the most. The wrath from God for the sin He carried. I wonder, though, if the physical agony he knew He was going to endure made him fearful before hand. I mean he was fully man, and fully God. Did the man part fear the physical part of the process He was going to go through?
Now I know that there are things that God gives us the grace for only once we get there. Not that I think that torture would be easy by any stretch of the imagination. It's horrific, and that's why it's used. I do know if that's what God has called me to, He'll get me through it.
I think too that this is all just how God is sizing me up a little. Seeing just how serious I am about what I'm willing to give up. I'm so fine with giving up my home, my car, my country even. Actually, if I got to give up those things, I'd be ecstatic. But giving up physical comfort and security seems to be a sticking point for me, and it seems to me to be a serious flaw in my Christian character. I'm having trouble reconciling the part of me that says, "Oh yes, Lord, use me greatly. Just don't let me be physically compromised for You."
Doesn't that make God sick? That my love has limits?
I am still praying this out. I also know that God loves me, in spite of my faults. I really want to get to the point where I can say that I'm so in love with the God I serve that I don't care what happens to me this side of heaven. I'm not there yet. And I'm desperately sorry for that.
Zoo!
It was a great day at the zoo!
The lion was close to the fence! It's the closest we've ever been to him, and even though he was asleep, it was cool to see him this closely.
This white tiger was very agitated, which made me very sad, but it was cool that he came up to the glass.
This guy was pacing too, and so he got very close to the glass. It was a tad un-nerving to have him so close! And cool.
Zane's face kills me.
Spider monkey. ;)
These Speckled Langurs were so neat. This guy was videoing them on his phone, and then playing it back for the monkey. The monkey really watched it. Wild.
Laney made a sweet friend!
The two boy monkeys fought and fought and the boys thought it was hilarious. The girl monkey sat calmly by. Just like at my house!
The first time Zane and I went across this bridge, I dragged him literally screaming at the top of his lungs. The next time, I held his hand as he yelled, "DON'T GO SO FAST..." The next time, he went behind me, and then he got brave and started running across it all by himself.
I think there is a serious spiritual lesson in that, but I'm too tired to type it all out. Just live bravely. :)
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Why Leviticus?
This is a blog post that got away. I really, really thought I wrote this last year. I went back and looked even, thinking that I wrote it already. And it wasn't there. So much like you think of a really good retort a day later to someone who catches you off guard, this is my, not NO really, I thought that LAST YEAR!
Oh well! It doesn't matter, really. But, I do realize that I need to get these suckers out when I first feel them writing themselves in my head. Now the two other posts I have rolling around in my head are going to have to come out too! woo hoo!
So anyway, last January, 2009, God impressed upon me to start reading the Bible through. No problem. I got my little "read through the Bible in a year" Bible and got started. It was all good, until I got through Exodus. God again impressed to me that this was great. Now I should study through the Bible.
Um, yeah. Okay. I got LOTS of free time. I actually do love to study God's Word, but I'll admit, it's not always the very first priority of my day. I got a little stressed, wondering when I was going to find this time. I knew I was supposed to get up at 6am and study the Word.
Um, okay. I'm trying to obey happily, but I was still dealing with Zane at various times during the night at that time, and sleep was something I longed for and dreamed about. God asking me to give more of that up seemed a little harsh. But I obeyed. And boy was I blessed. So here I go, studying in my own non-theologically educated way. And I was good during Genesis and Exodus. I learned things I never knew, meditated on what I learned, and was just steeping in God's goodness through His Word.
And I then I get to Leviticus.
Good grief.
I skimmed through it, shaking my head, wondering WHY in the HECK I needed to know all this stuff. I reread it, trying not to skim through it. I would read a passage, realized I day dreamed all the way though it, then reread it. Ugh. It was hard.
So I was walking one morning, after reading it yet again. I came to love my early morning walks, because they because a time of reflection and conversation with God about His Word. So really, honestly, I was just asking Him "Why Leviticus?" There is so much detail. The detail. Oh the detail. I see the Bible as precious real estate. It just seemed like a lot of time and space was dedicated to this book when I would have liked to have seen some other stuff in there more than this book of Leviticus. I mean REALLY.
So God, in His infinite grace and patience with me, listens to me rail on and on about this book. About my frustrations with this book. All my why's and good griefs and UGH's. Then, I hear it. I hear God say, "You want to know why Leviticus? You want to know why? I'll tell you why..."
So I started to get a little nervous. As I imagine Moses realized, once he asked God to show him His glory, when He realized God was going to actually do it, though, "Uh oh." I thought, "Uh, maybe I shouldn't have questioned God, the creator of the Universe, about what He decided to put into His Word."
But God was kind. He said, "You want to know why Leviticus? I'll tell you why. You read it. You read every word. You think about what it was like to live under that law. You think about the people that lived under that law. You think about the priests that obeyed that law to the letter. About the people that needed that law. Think long and hard. Then, think more...
Then. Think. About. Jesus."
I do think I literally stopped in the middle of the street. Paused in the middle of life.
Jesus, in one fell swoop, wiped out the book of Leviticus. Much like the curtain was torn, so was the book of Leviticus. He. Wiped. It. Out.
I was blown away. That's why Leviticus. So that while read in the shadow of the cross, the book of Leviticus takes on a whole new meaning. It means a lot to me now. Jesus died, in part, to wipe all of it away.
And that's why it remains, planted firmly in the Old Testament that I adore so very much. To always remind me of not only why Jesus died, but of what he wiped away when He did. Much like my God, the crucifixion is much deeper, much more complicated that I make it. It's not just "Jesus died so I could go to heaven." I cheapen it when I reduce it to that level. There's so SO much to it. What Jesus gave up, what He washed away, what He wiped out. How He did it and why. It's just so much. So heavy and precious.
So as we study the book of Leviticus in church now, am reminded of these amazing precious things that God revealed to me over a year ago. I am so thankful for God's teaching me through His Word. I stand in awe of Him and His Word.
Oh well! It doesn't matter, really. But, I do realize that I need to get these suckers out when I first feel them writing themselves in my head. Now the two other posts I have rolling around in my head are going to have to come out too! woo hoo!
So anyway, last January, 2009, God impressed upon me to start reading the Bible through. No problem. I got my little "read through the Bible in a year" Bible and got started. It was all good, until I got through Exodus. God again impressed to me that this was great. Now I should study through the Bible.
Um, yeah. Okay. I got LOTS of free time. I actually do love to study God's Word, but I'll admit, it's not always the very first priority of my day. I got a little stressed, wondering when I was going to find this time. I knew I was supposed to get up at 6am and study the Word.
Um, okay. I'm trying to obey happily, but I was still dealing with Zane at various times during the night at that time, and sleep was something I longed for and dreamed about. God asking me to give more of that up seemed a little harsh. But I obeyed. And boy was I blessed. So here I go, studying in my own non-theologically educated way. And I was good during Genesis and Exodus. I learned things I never knew, meditated on what I learned, and was just steeping in God's goodness through His Word.
And I then I get to Leviticus.
Good grief.
I skimmed through it, shaking my head, wondering WHY in the HECK I needed to know all this stuff. I reread it, trying not to skim through it. I would read a passage, realized I day dreamed all the way though it, then reread it. Ugh. It was hard.
So I was walking one morning, after reading it yet again. I came to love my early morning walks, because they because a time of reflection and conversation with God about His Word. So really, honestly, I was just asking Him "Why Leviticus?" There is so much detail. The detail. Oh the detail. I see the Bible as precious real estate. It just seemed like a lot of time and space was dedicated to this book when I would have liked to have seen some other stuff in there more than this book of Leviticus. I mean REALLY.
So God, in His infinite grace and patience with me, listens to me rail on and on about this book. About my frustrations with this book. All my why's and good griefs and UGH's. Then, I hear it. I hear God say, "You want to know why Leviticus? You want to know why? I'll tell you why..."
So I started to get a little nervous. As I imagine Moses realized, once he asked God to show him His glory, when He realized God was going to actually do it, though, "Uh oh." I thought, "Uh, maybe I shouldn't have questioned God, the creator of the Universe, about what He decided to put into His Word."
But God was kind. He said, "You want to know why Leviticus? I'll tell you why. You read it. You read every word. You think about what it was like to live under that law. You think about the people that lived under that law. You think about the priests that obeyed that law to the letter. About the people that needed that law. Think long and hard. Then, think more...
Then. Think. About. Jesus."
I do think I literally stopped in the middle of the street. Paused in the middle of life.
Jesus, in one fell swoop, wiped out the book of Leviticus. Much like the curtain was torn, so was the book of Leviticus. He. Wiped. It. Out.
I was blown away. That's why Leviticus. So that while read in the shadow of the cross, the book of Leviticus takes on a whole new meaning. It means a lot to me now. Jesus died, in part, to wipe all of it away.
And that's why it remains, planted firmly in the Old Testament that I adore so very much. To always remind me of not only why Jesus died, but of what he wiped away when He did. Much like my God, the crucifixion is much deeper, much more complicated that I make it. It's not just "Jesus died so I could go to heaven." I cheapen it when I reduce it to that level. There's so SO much to it. What Jesus gave up, what He washed away, what He wiped out. How He did it and why. It's just so much. So heavy and precious.
So as we study the book of Leviticus in church now, am reminded of these amazing precious things that God revealed to me over a year ago. I am so thankful for God's teaching me through His Word. I stand in awe of Him and His Word.
Monday, February 22, 2010
The last recipe
Whew. I loved the new recipe week, but I'm glad it's over. I'm adding all the recipes into the rotation, and I'm glad to be back to the same old boring stuff this week! Here's the last one, though:
http://www.realsimple.com/food-recipes/browse-all-recipes/pan-roasted-chicken-lemon-garlic-green-beans-10000000780291/index.html
This one was good. It was nice to have it all in one dish. I absolutely adore garlic, so that was a huge plus. The green beans did get a little burned on the bottom, so that was weird. I also didn't cook it as long as I was supposed to, becuase we had chicken tenders instead of breasts. The kids also werent' crazy about the green beans, but I really liked this dish. I'll hang on to it, and maybe just make the kids some mac and cheese and broccoli, but then that defeats the purpose of having everything in the same dish.
Oh well. It was good, and it would make a good "take to someone who just had a baby meal."
That's it. I'm going to rest this week, and then try this again. It was really great to eat some new stuff.
My next goal? Cook with curry. I know I'm the last person in the world to cook with it, but I'm going to try it. Hopefully the kids will be on board... :)
http://www.realsimple.com/food-recipes/browse-all-recipes/pan-roasted-chicken-lemon-garlic-green-beans-10000000780291/index.html
This one was good. It was nice to have it all in one dish. I absolutely adore garlic, so that was a huge plus. The green beans did get a little burned on the bottom, so that was weird. I also didn't cook it as long as I was supposed to, becuase we had chicken tenders instead of breasts. The kids also werent' crazy about the green beans, but I really liked this dish. I'll hang on to it, and maybe just make the kids some mac and cheese and broccoli, but then that defeats the purpose of having everything in the same dish.
Oh well. It was good, and it would make a good "take to someone who just had a baby meal."
That's it. I'm going to rest this week, and then try this again. It was really great to eat some new stuff.
My next goal? Cook with curry. I know I'm the last person in the world to cook with it, but I'm going to try it. Hopefully the kids will be on board... :)
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