Ah, sweet blog...

...quite honestly, I haven't missed you.

At all.

I hate to say that, really. We've done a lot of thinking together. You've been far more patient than any human could ever possibly have been. You've allowed me to type, delete, re-write, think aloud, process aloud, pour out my heart and soul, and provided a safe place for me to do so. 

And I so appreciate it. 

But here lately, I've found a new friend.

Pen and paper.

We used to be the best of friends. Then technology introduced a newfangled friend; you. But this old friend and I got reacquainted. And I sometimes wonder if the new that we abandon the old for is really all that better for us. I certainly fell back in love with the simplicity of a pad of paper and a pen. We spent many early mornings and many late nights and fleeting yet significant moments in between communing together. And they have served me so well.

It was with trepidation that I thought of you, dear blog. I wasn't sure how I felt about you. 

I thought that maybe we could be more casual acquaintances, with my passing through occasionally to post pictures of all the great things we do in our fun little world and update you with the plethora of cute things my amazingly perfect kids say.

Because sometimes this seems like a one sided, quite lopsided actually, relationship. Yes, you are patient but you are also noncommittal, perhaps even blase. Blood, sweat and tears have poured out here and sometimes all that passion feels unrequited.

So maybe the release is itself the means and also the end. 

Or not.

I glanced longingly at my yellow legal pad and my at the moment favorite pen when I felt a post welling up in my heart and mind. To say that it's a topic, and a post, that I'd so love to avoid is an enormous understatement. But it will have to come out. And it will do so here, not ensconced in the privacy and intimacy of my legal pad.

And that's okay, if that's how God so chooses to use me at this moment. He's quite unconcerned about my comfort, and this is even okay with me. I supposed there's a time for my wrinkled, well scribbled in legal pad and there's a time for this sweet blog.

I hope I remember how to blog. It's been a little while. It's most likely like riding a bike. You never forget how to...