School has been tough lately. It hasn't been a priority with other seriously more important things going on. So now we find ourselves behind with two options: Double up and work really hard or go past our ending date of May 28th. I'm not really okay with the first option and I'm REALLY not okay with the second option.
I'm tired. I want a break. I want to really clean my house. I want to clean out the garage. I want to purge my scrapbook stash. I want to transfer this blog over to Tumblr. (scared about that one.) I want to... Oh nevermind. It will keep.
I've struggled with this calling more here lately, and I think I do every year at this time. The kids are done with school. They want to be outside. Or at the pool. They want to be playing. They really don't want to be sitting at the table learning.
And honestly, I don't want to be teaching. I just don't.
I always re-evaluate every year whether not this is for us. I always pray, "Okay, Lord, is this what you'll have us do for another year?" This wasn't my idea to begin with, and I really do want to make sure I'm staying in His will here. Honestly I can't imagine sending my kids off to school (not that there's anything wrong with that.) But if He says to, I will. And I joke that maybe this will be the year that He says, "Okay."
I know, though, that this is right for us. I can see down the road and see tons of reasons why it's right for later too. That's encouraging. And I know that He called me to do this, and He very simply will enable me to do it. And do it amazingly well to His glory.
And He's allowed me so very graciously to see some reasons here lately why this is so important. The kids and I were in the van the other day, on the way home from the park with friends. Zane asked me how God made the world. I replied, "He spoke it into being" without really thinking. Zane said, "He what?"
So I tried again, explaining that God said, "Let there be light, and there was light. God said, Let there be land, and there was land..." etc.
Zane's reply? "Oh, so God does automatic stuff."
Huh.
Yeah, buddy. He does.
This lead to a pretty cool discussion about creation and God in general. And then, a week later, Zane reminded me that God does automatic stuff. Really cool. Of course he also then told me that Jesus fell off a tree so we could go to heaven, but we're working on that.
Laney is the one who is really challenging me, though. Asking me if God wants us to be happy. Asking me hard questions about what she hears in church. Asking me to explain things, and not wanting to hear pat answers. But you know what? I don't want to give pat answers.
Because here's the thing. This homeschooling thing is most important to me for one reason. I get to pour the Word over my kids all day long. That is all I care about. Yeah, I want them to learn other stuff too, but I really just want them to have a heart for God and want to walk in His ways all their lives.
I think that's the joy/challenge of homeschooling for me. They are always here. ALWAYS. So we have time for the discussions to flourish. For them to pop up. I can weave Christ into any sort of situation or conversation. And I'm not saying you have to homeschool for this to happen. I'm just saying how it works for us. This is basically the reason I homeschool. Kind of.
And they keep me right. There is no better motivation to stay right before God than 3 little people looking at you all day long. They watch me. They hear me when I don't think they do. They see how I spend my time and my money. They see what's important to me. More than anything, they hear less of what I say and more of what I do. That's freaking scary. It's up to me to be what I say I am. I have to walk so closely with Christ that they see Him all over me.
And yes, it should be this way without the kids as motivation. And I would say that I hope it is, but with these tangible reasons, it's more of a motivation.
But I also see this time as a precious commodity. I get them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year (trying not to have panic attack here) to pour everything into them I can. Because I hear rumors that at some point, they leave home. And when they do, I have to trust that they have their own personal desire to follow Christ on that narrow path. Not my desire for them, but their own desire. Oh, Lord, help me do that.
So in the moments that I'm tripping over dirty laundry, missing having lunch with my friends, or telling someone to not knock on the bathroom door for just 30 seconds, I'm asking God to remind me of all of this.
I want nothing more than to have children that seek after Him always and desire to spread the Gospel as far as the ends of the earth. I hope God uses me up making this happen. And I hope He reminds me always that I'm not just teaching them about verbs and multiplication-I'm educating them so they can more effectively spread the Gospel. That changes everything.
I'm tired. I want a break. I want to really clean my house. I want to clean out the garage. I want to purge my scrapbook stash. I want to transfer this blog over to Tumblr. (scared about that one.) I want to... Oh nevermind. It will keep.
I've struggled with this calling more here lately, and I think I do every year at this time. The kids are done with school. They want to be outside. Or at the pool. They want to be playing. They really don't want to be sitting at the table learning.
And honestly, I don't want to be teaching. I just don't.
I always re-evaluate every year whether not this is for us. I always pray, "Okay, Lord, is this what you'll have us do for another year?" This wasn't my idea to begin with, and I really do want to make sure I'm staying in His will here. Honestly I can't imagine sending my kids off to school (not that there's anything wrong with that.) But if He says to, I will. And I joke that maybe this will be the year that He says, "Okay."
I know, though, that this is right for us. I can see down the road and see tons of reasons why it's right for later too. That's encouraging. And I know that He called me to do this, and He very simply will enable me to do it. And do it amazingly well to His glory.
And He's allowed me so very graciously to see some reasons here lately why this is so important. The kids and I were in the van the other day, on the way home from the park with friends. Zane asked me how God made the world. I replied, "He spoke it into being" without really thinking. Zane said, "He what?"
So I tried again, explaining that God said, "Let there be light, and there was light. God said, Let there be land, and there was land..." etc.
Zane's reply? "Oh, so God does automatic stuff."
Huh.
Yeah, buddy. He does.
This lead to a pretty cool discussion about creation and God in general. And then, a week later, Zane reminded me that God does automatic stuff. Really cool. Of course he also then told me that Jesus fell off a tree so we could go to heaven, but we're working on that.
Laney is the one who is really challenging me, though. Asking me if God wants us to be happy. Asking me hard questions about what she hears in church. Asking me to explain things, and not wanting to hear pat answers. But you know what? I don't want to give pat answers.
Because here's the thing. This homeschooling thing is most important to me for one reason. I get to pour the Word over my kids all day long. That is all I care about. Yeah, I want them to learn other stuff too, but I really just want them to have a heart for God and want to walk in His ways all their lives.
I think that's the joy/challenge of homeschooling for me. They are always here. ALWAYS. So we have time for the discussions to flourish. For them to pop up. I can weave Christ into any sort of situation or conversation. And I'm not saying you have to homeschool for this to happen. I'm just saying how it works for us. This is basically the reason I homeschool. Kind of.
And they keep me right. There is no better motivation to stay right before God than 3 little people looking at you all day long. They watch me. They hear me when I don't think they do. They see how I spend my time and my money. They see what's important to me. More than anything, they hear less of what I say and more of what I do. That's freaking scary. It's up to me to be what I say I am. I have to walk so closely with Christ that they see Him all over me.
And yes, it should be this way without the kids as motivation. And I would say that I hope it is, but with these tangible reasons, it's more of a motivation.
But I also see this time as a precious commodity. I get them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year (trying not to have panic attack here) to pour everything into them I can. Because I hear rumors that at some point, they leave home. And when they do, I have to trust that they have their own personal desire to follow Christ on that narrow path. Not my desire for them, but their own desire. Oh, Lord, help me do that.
So in the moments that I'm tripping over dirty laundry, missing having lunch with my friends, or telling someone to not knock on the bathroom door for just 30 seconds, I'm asking God to remind me of all of this.
I want nothing more than to have children that seek after Him always and desire to spread the Gospel as far as the ends of the earth. I hope God uses me up making this happen. And I hope He reminds me always that I'm not just teaching them about verbs and multiplication-I'm educating them so they can more effectively spread the Gospel. That changes everything.
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