Thank you, Pop

This post is for my great-grandfather, Alexander Levette. He was born May 16, 1903 and died November 14, 1972. In 1938 he enlisted in the United States Army, and soon fought in World War II and became a prisoner of war. My great-grandmother had four children at the time, but went to work to support the family. She didn't know if he was dead or alive, when one day, she received a phone call where he simply said, "I'm alive," and the phone went dead.



"Pop" died when I was only 6 months old. I have always regretted that I didn't get to know him. I remember standing in my great-grandmother's house, looking up at all the medals, awards and photos that lined the walls, thinking about him. He was remembered so well by his wife and children. The stories about him were tender and precious. I loved him even thought I didn't know him-so much so that I gave my youngest son his name. My great-grandmother lived long enough to know that Zane was Zane Alexander, and I'm thankful for that.



As I reflect on how much freedom has cost so many families since our country was founded, it seems overwhelming. And I want to teach my children that the men and women who have lost their lives didn't do so so that we may pursue the American dream, but did so that we may worship our God freely and openly and proclaim the Gospel both here and abroad.



I also thank God for the women who He has brought into my life that showed me just how much it costs a family to have a father (or a mother) who is in the military. Few of us can understand what exactly they give on a daily basis. It leads me to pray for all the military families both in our country and those who are serving in other countries.



It's a lot to think about and pray over today, but it's worth it. And quite honestly, it's the least I can do as I enjoy the freedoms they worked, and continue to work, so hard to ensure.

I can't stop thinking about this

Once again, Jon Acuff rocked my world. I can't stop thinking about this post, or two quotes I'll highlight:

http://stuffchristianslike.net/2009/04/532-arguing-about-why-bad-things-happen-to-good-people/comment-page-1/

"Here is the question I felt like God asked me:

'Do I have the right to crack the vessel if breaking it is the fastest way to share with the world what I have poured into it?' "

You may have to read that again. Or more.

And here's the paragraph that I've tried to express {in my own words} over the last few months as friends and I have encountered things happening in our lives and in the lives of ones that we love:

"The question is not, 'Can I trust a God that allows bad things to happen to good people?' Although that’s tempting to get stuck on. Sometimes when we say, 'How can I serve a God that would allow bad things to happen,' we miss what we might be really saying. I think what we mean is, 'I could only serve a God that is good or loving according to my own personal definition of what those words mean.' But that’s kind of terrifying to me. I don’t want to worship a God who’s power is limited to my ability to understand it or who’s goodness is limited to my ability to define it. I get 'good' and 'bad' wrong all the time."


I've said it over and over again. I don't want to serve a God I can understand or make sense of. Then He wouldn't be God. I always think of Isaiah 55:8-9


For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.


I like that. It gives me peace. I'm glad I don't always understand what's going on.

Quintessential Zane

The other day I was running late getting ready and realized I was really going to have to get a shower. As I was trying to get it all together, I heard the boys fighting, and as usual, Zane yelling and crying. I flew into the boys' room to find out what was going on. Jude wouldn't let Zane put his car in the Lego box with Jude's car. {rolling eyes}

I said, "Jude, look buddy, I have to jump in the shower, so can you just please work hard for me to keep Zane happy for just a minute so I can do that?"

Jude wasn't too happy about that, but there are just some times that I cannot possibly remedy the fact that he is the middle kid stuck being responsible for Zane.

As I was hurriedly trying to get ready, I heard Zane screaming again. I went and found him with a very aggravated, "WHAT NOW?"

He looked up at me, red faced, tears streaming down his face and howled, "Jude's not keeping me happy...!!!"

Stinker.

It's so funny how God works...

I woke up rather somberly today. I wasn't depressed or anything, but there are a lot of people who today are facing huge, real challenges. They specifically asked for prayer today for things going on. I knew that today I would need to be quiet, peaceful and prayerful.

My Bible study time was difficult, as my mind kept wandering to these people. I was actually glad when it was time for me to go pound the pavement, so I could just pour out my thoughts and prayers before Christ. I grabbed Fluffy and my music, and we headed out.

I didn't get very far before it started raining. I ran the dog back home, because no matter how cute she is, wet dog is not a pleasant smell. I took off my music so I wouldn't ruin my phone, and then, it was just me, the quiet and the rain.

Oh my gosh.

God very literally rained down on me. It was like every drop of rain was a tiny bit of Him, and in every drop He sang out one of His promises, His words and His song.

I love you.

I have redeemed you.

I have chosen you.

I have called you by name.

You are mine.

I am gracious.

I am compassionate.

I am slow to anger.

I am rich in love.

I am good to all.

I have written you on the palm of my hand.

I see all that happens to you.

I am with you.

I will never leave you.

I will never forsake you.

I am orchestrating everything in your life for one good purpose.

I am worthy of trust.

You can't comprehend my love for you.

Do not fear.

I am with you.

Don't be discouraged.

I am your God.

I will strengthen you.

I will help you.

I am upholding you with my righteous right hand.

I care for you...

Each drop was a tangible drop of His love.

I am very aware of the powerful, mighty God I serve. I fear Him. I stand in reverence of Him. He is jealous. His voice is like rushing waters. He is too enormous and complex for my mind to comprehend.

But this morning, He allowed me to just feel tiny drops of His love. Quite the opposite of the glory He showed to Moses, this was the sweet, gentle caress of a God who is tenderly caring for His child. It was almost too much to bear. That rain fell on me, and I could almost hear Him audibly whispering over me.

Wow.

I have walked in obedience to Him, trying my best to not question Him, resting in the knowledge of His sovereignty. I got to a point where I started trusting that He may or may not ever reveal why He tells me to do what He does. But this week? He's allowing me to see tiny glimpses of what He's doing with that obedience. And it's no understatement to say that I'm blown away.

I want to sit, alone and quiet, in reflection and praise. And I can't. But in the midst of the (not so) precious storm that my life is at the moment, I can stay quiet in my spirit with a running dialog that praises Him and thanks Him for all that He is doing. (...and I can burst into tears a random moments throughout the day, overwhelmed with all of this. I have turned into the biggest crybaby you have ever met. It's the payback for making fun of certain friends all these years...)

And today I am so thankful, that in spite of all the huge things He's doing in my life right now, He allowed something very common like rain to break down His love into tiny droplets that so communicated all that He is to me.

I am just in awe. And I had to share.

My favorite jewelry

Lisa Leonard is my favorite jewelry lady. She creates amazing things. Sponsor a child right now, and get a free necklace. It's a win/win situation.

http://www.lisaleonardonline.com/inspired-designs/faith-hope-amor.html

"How to Change Your Mind" - Hilarious

Or is it?


How To Change Your Mind...

THE LONELINESS OF THE CHRISTIAN

This made me cry. Not that I am this person, but I do want to be this consumed with Christ. I have had these feelings, and I guess I'd be honest and say that I wish this was true about me all the time. And I know people who are here, and this gave me a new way to pray for them. It's just precious, and I needed a place to save it.

THE LONELINESS OF THE CHRISTIAN

by A.W. Tozer

The loneliness of the Christian results from his walk with God in an ungodly world, a walk that must often take him away from the fellowship of good Christians as well as from that of the unregenerate world. His God-given instincts cry out for companionship with others of his kind, others who can understand his longings, his aspirations, his absorption in the love of Christ; and because within his circle of friends there are so few who share his inner experiences he is forced to walk alone. The unsatisfied longings of the prophets for human understanding caused them to cry out in their complaint, and even our Lord Himself suffered in the same way.

The man who has passed on into the divine Presence in actual inner experience will not find many who understand him. He finds few who care to talk about that which is the supreme object of his interest, so he is often silent and preoccupied in the midst of noisy religious shoptalk. For this he earns the reputation of being dull and over-serious, so he is avoided and the gulf between him and society widens. He searches for friends upon whose garments he can detect the smell of myrrh and aloes and cassia out of the ivory palaces, and finding few or none he, like Mary of old, keeps these things in his heart.

It is this very loneliness that throws him back upon God. His inability to find human companionship drives him to seek in God what he can find nowhere else.