The week in pictures - July 2nd - July 8th

The girl kid was scratching a kitten's belly when the kitten decided that her nose was a perfect prop for her paw.

Jess left her sunglasses in the door of the van. I left them there for awhile, so I could pretend she would be right back. 

We got to Skype, so that's good. 

I printed a picture of Jess and the girl kid. She carried it around with her for awhile. She even stuck it on the computer screen while she played on the computer. 

For the first time in a year and a half, the girl kid ended up at the doctor. 

She was a little nervous. 

Thankfully no treatment was needed, except rest.

Since I don't usually make the week in pictures, I decided to add this. 

Since she was sick and we were sequestered, I bent the rules and let people have their electronics even though it wasn't the weekend. 

I would like to say I have no idea where she gets this attitude, but that would be a small lie. 

I also got to snuggle her more, which was good. 

Grown up kids don't always like to snuggle as much as the smaller ones do.

She hung out with Kitty a lot too. 

There was lots of rule bending for the sick kid. 

One morning we decided to bathe the kittens. 

This face says it all. 

It didn't go so well.

It didn't go well at all.

They recovered though.

And I love picking up my phone and finding 20 pictures like this of the kittens. 

More clouds. I'm beginning to understand my love of them. 

I think it has to do with the wilderness. 

I'm still processing this. 

My new favorite picture. 

We found a rainbow one day. Never fails to cheer my heart. 

The middle kid and I accidentally hung out with a kitten one night while we watched television. 

The Fourth of July. 

We stayed home, as per my request. 

The kids were excited about shooting fireworks in the driveway. 

A little nervous too. 

It didn't last long. The man shut us down. 

Which was fine by me. 

Thankfully, sparklers were more fun anyway. 

Even the baby kid did them.

I was proud. 

After watching one too many episodes of "Duck Dynasty," the girl kid said she wanted to cook "like Miss Kay." 

The middle kid made the "Skate Park of Danger."

Good job, buddy. 

I found this in a drawer in my desk. 

It's me, in 1979.

And yes, the church I grew up in had orange carpet and pews. 

Nothing says "It's the 70's" like burnt orange and lots of it. 

One way to do the Great Commission

"...And Jesus came up and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. “Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

We knew this day was coming. The day we had worked for, prayed toward, anticipated and dreaded all that the same time. 

I knew when I woke that morning that God was going to show Himself faithful. He had before, and He would again. 

I also knew this was going to be a hard day. 

The first mercy I noticed that day was that instead of the literal 100+ degree temperatures we had been having for several days in a row, we instead had pouring rain. This provided its own challenges, but nearly anything is better than blistering heat.

I made my way to the home where Jess was staying. I backed into the open garage to ready the van for loading her bags. I climbed out of the van and opened the door to her standing in the kitchen brushing her teeth. She didn't say anything, but she didn't have to. 

Her eyes said it all.

I smiled and clicked into business mode. We loaded her bags and started making our way to the airport with her friend following us through a torrential downpour. 

We pulled off the interstate and as we waited for the red light, this is where we were at:

We aren't ever far from laughing, no matter how close to tears we are. This look was followed by both. 

We pulled up to the airport, and I hopped out to go secure a cart to load her bags onto. I was directed to the carts by a nice employee but after walking the long sidewalk to where the carts were kept, I realized I had 3 of the 4 dollars it cost to rent a cart. I made my way back down to where Jess waited and the same employee stepped into my path and pointed into the airport, saying, "Just go in there and grab one of those carts."

Thank you, Lord. A free cart.

Mercy number 2.

I hurried into the airport where the cart waited and nearly smashed into Jess' friend's fiancé.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, a bit incredulously.

He had a flight that morning for work.

Of course he did. 

He unloaded her bags from the van onto that cart like they weighed nothing. We laughed (marveled) at God's provision. 

Mercy number 3. 

After the sweet friend rolled the bags into the airport, loaded them each onto the scales and back onto the cart, we thanked him for doing Cross Fit so faithfully. And thanked God out loud for the provision of this strong back to handle this baggage for us. 

Speaking of baggage, Jess had 5 bags, each which could only weigh 50 pounds each. We had struggled here so much, weighing the bags at home, trying to figure out what to take, what to leave, what to ship later, what to donate, and how to get it all to Africa. 

We knew that we were close on the weights of the bags, but also knew that we had done the best we could. 

As sweet friend swung each bag to the scale, we held our breath. Each bag weighed at least 2.5 pounds over the weight limit. 

The two kind employees that were helping us smiled and shook their heads, quickly motioning the bags off the scale, overlooking the extra weight.

They allowed Jess approximately 13 pounds of extra baggage on that flight. That is huge. 

I cannot even explain how huge. 

Mercy number 4.

We worshipped Him for that one right there in the middle of the airport. 

This luggage had literally caused Jess to lose sleep in the week of preparation before she left. And the Lord covered it.

We also knew that the cost to get all of this luggage to Africa was going to be about $500. This grieved Jess greatly because it was money she felt could be used for better purposes. 

We prayed about it, and the Lord provided the money for her to be able to pay the fees. 

Mercy number 5. 

She told the airport employee that it was going to be $500. The lady looked at Jess for a second and said, "That sounds like a lot of money. I'm going to talk to my supervisor, and I'll be right back." 

Jess waited.

The lady came back and said brightly, "That will be $300, please."

Jess said, "But I checked on the website beforehand, and it said it would be $500."

The lady said again, "That will be $300, please."

I think she was smiling too.

Mercy number 6. 

My heart just sang in praise to Him. He had so clearly gone before us and paved the way with this luggage, that silly as it seems, had given us so much trouble. I got lost in prayer and praise to Him, trying so hard to keep up with thanking Him for all the ways He had provided for us so far.  

More friends had arrived, and more strong backs loaded the baggage onto the conveyer belt that would take it where ever it needed to go. 

We were laughing and actually having fun now. I think I even forgot why we were there for a moment or two. Jess is blessed with amazing friends. 

The baggage is DONE! 

But then the fiancé had to leave to catch his plane. She had to say good-bye. She would miss the wedding of one of her closest friends to this sweet man. 

As I watched her my breath caught in my throat. It came crashing back back why exactly we were here, and I wasn't ready to say good-bye. 

After wiping away tears, we looked up to find that more friends had arrived at the airport. We started smiling and laughing again, taking some pictures and moving toward a section of the airport where we could just sit and chat for awhile. 

And we did. Talked, laughed, organized ourselves on Voxer so that we could all keep in touch throughout the day. The team from Africa started texting and sending pics of themselves getting ready to greet her on the other end. It was all fun and we were all enjoying ourselves...

Then a friend said we should pray over her, and as his voice started praying, I felt the panicky feeling that the end was nearing. His prayer was precious and each time his voice caught, tears threatened to spill. When he finished praying, he pulled out his wallet and got out all the money he had. $8. We all started laughing and crying at the same time. $8!?!?! He said, "Maybe you can buy a snack at the airport with that..." But he insisted she have it. 

We kept laughing until he said, "Okay, I think we should head that way..."

Jess stood up and my heart sank. 

It was time.

No matter how many years you prepare to say goodbye, there really aren't words to describe how hard it is.

It's really easy to say you'd give it all up for Christ until you actually do.

We waked toward the gate in silence, and one by one each of us said good-bye. 

There aren't words for that. 

All I could do at that point was stand there and keep taking pictures~

We waited for her to get through security and watched for her at every step. 

We literally cheered her through the security checkpoint. She was sobbing and we were too. The kind couple behind her spoke encouraging words to her, and the lady said about her tears, "You just let it all out, dear." Her husband said, "I hope you have as good a welcoming committee on the other end as your send off team here." 

It was all a little much. 

We cheered and yelled words of encouragement and love to her as she emerged from security. She paused to get her backpack on and then waved good-bye.

We stood and watched her until she was out of sight. 

We all turned and walked out of the airport.

I would like to emphasize how faithful God was that day.

I also cannot overstate how hard it was too.

It's been a hard almost two weeks. 

I've cried more than I have in a long time. 

A gentle email came from a sweet friend on staff at our church. She asked me how I was doing. 

Silly.

But I confessed how sad I was. How conflicted I was by my selfish emotions at not wanting her to go and not knowing what I was going to do without her here. 

This faithful woman of God reminded me of Acts 20, when Paul left the Ephesian Elders. He said: 

...I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace...

This is definitely the commitment Jess has to God's calling on her life.

But the last verses of this chapter make me weep:

When he had said this, he knelt down with all of them and prayed. They all wept as they embraced him and kissed him. What grieved them most was his statement that they would never see his face again. Then they accompanied him to the ship.

It was hard to say good-bye not knowing if I would see her again. I was so thankful for the reminder from my friend and from Scripture that weeping and sadness were definitely okay. 

(One of the things I've always loved about Paul is his weepiness.)

It's hard on my end to miss her so much. I keep finding new ways and new times and new places to miss her. It's so hard to have to depend on shaky internet to communicate. There are days I can't reach her. I have new ways to trust Him with her safety. It's hard working around an 8 hour time difference. It's hard knowing that she's tired and not feeling well and overwhelmed and sad and not be able to be there to help and/or encourage. I have to watch each and every word I say or type to her. That makes it hard to encourage her. My kids miss her too. 

It's so hard on her end now too. I looked at her sweet face on the computer, and I couldn't help but think about what life was like with a newborn. She is exhausted, not feeling well, not sleeping well. Her hair was a mess, she doesn't wear makeup anymore, she doesn't wear cute clothes anymore, and though these things seem almost silly, they are a huge adjustment. Add to that a different climate, different time zone, different food, culture, no home, few belongings, sickness and persecution and discrimination, it's not an overstatement to say that she's fighting for peace.

Fighting hard. 

Even in the deepest knowledge that you are absolutely and perfectly where God has called you to be, there are no guarantees that it's going to be easy.

 In fact, we never thought it would be.

Easy, that is. 

There is a fierce determination to walk in obedience. And there is more mercy and grace in this place for her than most of us will ever know.

I won't go into detail about what she has already experienced in the way of the reason she is there, but I will ask you to pray, and pray often. As much as He brings her and her team to your heart.

I also cannot help but confess that this whole experience has changed the way I view things. It's becoming harder for me to see and process the way we do things and talk about things. I'm praying and asking God to show me what in me needs to change, and I am becoming more aware of how different we are than Christians in other parts of the world. 

I hope, and pray, it's making me more bold in my faith, less concerned about what people think and more committed to offering myself in service to Him in spreading this gospel. 

I am also fully aware that not everyone is called to move to Africa. I know without a doubt that not everyone is called into full time missions. I know that not everyone needs to go to a far away place to share the gospel. In fact, there is great damage being done in His name by people who really need to stay home instead of going.

That said, the Great Commission is a command given by our Savior to tell this gospel. Everywhere. How people can debate that absolutely astounds me, by the way. 

 I am praying that He will continue to work in me as I learn more and more how to do this. 

The word "go" in the verse that started this post is the Greek word πορεύομαι which is the verb "poreuomai."  People will tell you that this verb means "as you are going." There is truth to this. Obviously we are to speak this gospel to anyone in our paths as we go through life. 

The actual definition of this verb is:

 travel, journey, go, die.

I won't say that this doesn't make me catch my breath.

This is the other part of this command. Not just "as you are going" but travel. Journey. Go. And die if necessary. 

And as not all of us are called to GO far, like Jess, did how will we know if we are called unless we ask? 

And wait for an answer?

Jess didn't just happen to go to Africa. It was an 8 year process that took more hard work than I have seen anyone exert in a long time. It took prayer, planning and willingness. I could fill volumes with things I saw in her that she worked hard at in this process and all that He did in her and through her as a result.

So yes, let's share this gospel as we go to work and the park and oh please, as we go to church. Let's live in the gospel, reminding ourselves of it daily. Let's teach it strictly to our children. Let's live it out in faith out of love to Christ who saved us from separation from God through His death on a cross out of love and obedience to His Father. 

Let's do that as we are going. But let's GO there too. To the hard places. Let's offer it all to God and see what He does. What He says. 

He may say, as He has to me for now, to stay. 

Or He may say, as He did to Jess and others, to GO. 

And go far. 

And give it all.

I have seen this passage no less than 10 times in nearly every place I have turned these last 2 weeks. Each time I read it, I feel the sadness of her leaving and at the same time rejoice in her obedience. And it leads me to pray for those who may be wrestling with the difficult yet beautiful calling of our God to GO with this message:

...the word of faith we are proclaiming: That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. As the Scripture says, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.” For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

And this makes me celebrate in the midst of my sadness:

How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!”

Romans 10

I am so proud of Jess. I am so proud of her for doing what's right and for doing what is so hard. I'm so thankful for a church and for a body of Christ that supported her and sent her out so well. I'm thankful for an organization that prepared her well and sent her out well and is supporting her well. (I can't believe I'm about to say this but) I am thankful for a domination that has fought for a long time for what is right, no matter how flawed it is and no matter what issues there are. 

and

I may never hug Jess again.

But now, more than ever, I am aware that 

He is worth it all.

Family Heirlooms

Our dining room table belonged to my aunt. The chairs that we use now are the ones that were in the house I grew up in. Mom gave them to me when we inherited the table. 

She had kept two of the chairs to refinish and use in her home, but she called me one day and told that I could come get the chairs since she had decided not to use them. 

When I got to Mom's house, she asked me to help her move some furniture to the garage for the Salvation Army to come pick up.

As we began moving the furniture, I noticed a chair in the corner. I asked her about it, and she reminded me that it was my great-grandmother's chair. Mom was sad to let it go, but just didn't have a place to put it. 

It took me back a bit.

My great-grandmother was Mary Louise. She had four children, including a set of fraternal twins, one of which was my grandmother, my mom's mother. 

She was an incredible lady. When my great-grandfather died suddenly, my great-grandmother was overcome with grief. They had such a sweet relationship. Throughout her life, most every time she spoke of him, she cried. She never stopped missing him. 

After he was gone, she decided she needed a new space in her home-a space that didn't remind her of him. 

She purposed a small corner of her bedroom as a television nook. She put a chair in the corner and an old black and white television on the dresser, and after a long day at work and an evening of puttering around the house, she would settle herself in her chair. She had a stock of magazines and books near by, but the television played on.

I imagine the noise comforted her. 

It was a family joke that we could usually find her napping in that chair later in her life. 

I stood in my mother's garage this day and decided I simply could not let that chair go to the Salvation Army.

My mom and I wrestling that chair into the back of my minivan already full of other salvaged goodies from her garage was a sitcom in and of itself. 

We laughed so much.

But we did it.

We have strong women in our family. 

Later I backed the van into my own garage and wrestled the chair out of the back of the van. 

It was covered in a blue slipcover that my great-grandmother had hand made meticulously. I felt badly about taking it off, but the treasure in the original fabirc that I found underneath made me terrifically happy. 

I rearranged what used to be the breakfast nook of our home that has since become the "office." 

I made my own reading corner. 

I found a handmade wooden what is probably a plant stand at my favorite thrift store for $5. 

It's perfect for my books.

I found a new rug at the same thrift store and soon it was a cozy little nook perfect for settling in with a stack of books. 

(This pic was taken before the table find.)

I try so hard to hold loosely to worldly possessions. I honestly don't care much about stuff, and most everything in our house I thrifted, received as a hand-me-down or bought right after we married out of necessity.

But it's things like this chair that I do love so dearly. I sit in it and hear the music of the springs singing and rub my hands on the slightly stained arm rests, and I just feel happy and close to my sweet great-grandmother. The desk that the computer is on was my great-grandfather's.

More heirlooms.  

Then there are other things, like...

My other great-grandmother's purse.

She kept it packed with tissue paper and in a plastic sleeve. In the purse is still a powder puff and when I picked it up, the powder got on my finger. Sweet reminder. 

My great-grandmother helped make the dress, along with my great great-grandmother, my grandmother, and I also, got married in. She also made this robe. 

I love the audacious flowers she embroidered. 

I found this matching gown in a vintage clothing store about 15 years ago. The gown is from the 50's.

They are packed away in my closet for now. 

My dad made this napkin holder when he was about my daughter's age. It's precious to me for several reasons. 

These are the things I hold dear. I want to hold them loosely, though.

 Truly, I do.

I think these thoughts are fresh in my mind and heart after helping a friend pack up her world to move across the sea. There were mementoes packed to help her when she's sad and/or lonely, and I was glad there were. 

I also found myself asking, "Could you leave most all of it behind?"

I don't think it's wrong to love these things that are dear to me. I would leave them behind if necessary. 

(I think. No, I would. I mean, wouldn't I? Oh yes. I would. Of course. All of them? Can I keep the napkin holder?)

Anyway...

For now, I'm absolutely thrilled with my little nook. I think of my sweet Mary Louise whenever I sit there, and I'm so thankful that Mom kept that chair in her basement until the day it could come live at my house.

The week in pictures - June 25th - July 1st

This picture just made me happy. 

Can you spot the kitten? The girl kid did this. 

Fresh new legal pads make me so happy. I can't wait to see what the Lord is going to show me as I scribble in these pages. 

The baby kid "camped out" on the futon in our room one night. I came in to find the girl kid loving on him. Given their relatively volatile relationship recently, this made me especially happy. 

Perhaps they'll end up friends in the end after all.

Or maybe not. These days, I'm not sure. 

Spent a long time on the porch with this sweet lady one night, taking about the Word and everything else too. 

We are pretending that her departure date isn't looming. 

Science center with friends. 

This just made me happy. 

My ocd wishes I had gotten the panes of the window exactly straight, but that's just silliness.

Or not...

The middle kid came flying in the house one morning excited and worried because a kitten was in the tree.

Despite my assurances that she would come down when she was ready, he tried to rescue her. 

She flatly refused to be rescued. 

(No, I do not see the life/spiritual lesson in this for me. Thank you for asking, though.)

And I'd like to point out that she came down when she was good and ready.

Okay, so maybe she fell out of the tree a little, and would have avoided a scary-ish fall had she accepted the help she was offered. 

I still do not see the connection between the cat in the tree and me. 

So there. 

Saturday morning game of Monopoly.

I don't play, by the way. Never have,  and I have no interest in starting.

My family thinks this is unusual.

I'm okay with that. 

Can I just say that the amount of work it takes to move out the country is mind boggling. 

And doing it by yourself is even more mind boggling. 

The good-bye tour continued with a Flip Burger picnic. 

And true to form, we laughed. 

A lot. 

Some of us are not so serious when we're saying good-bye. 

(It's hard to be serious when you're holding a bag of home grown tomatoes.) 

I'm not going to talk about this good-bye. 

I'm just documenting it. 

I just need a reminder that this lover of winter made it through this heat. 

Yep. 

Sisterly love. 

My goal was to send 66 cards overseas with my friend. I wanted initially to choose a favorite passage of Scripture from each book of the Bible, but the Lord had other plans.

I ended up going through my journal from the last year and a half and writing cards filled with things I've learned.

Or tried to learn.

That was humbling. 

The hubs took the girl kid across town to a spend the night party and came back home to get the boys and take them to a movie. 

There were a little excited. 

(They are sitting in the booster seats that had to go in Hub's car.)

If the shoe (er, glasses) fits... 

Last day at church. 

Tomorrow is the Departure Day.

That day is going to require an entire blog post of its own.