Good morning, Sunshine!

(This is for you, my precious red headed wonder. I love you! ;) )

For nearly all my life, I've known that getting up early and spending time with God was essential to the well being of my faith. I'd say that in the last 8 years that I've really gotten my spiritual act together, (or started really trying to) I have really felt that desire for the first time. And honestly, for the last 8 years it's been nearly impossible to get up early. I'm not lying. Especially with Zane, I was lucky to get maybe 4 hours of sleep a night. I was a walking zombie. Truly.

BUT, I gave God the first fruits of my night. As soon as the kids were in bed, I dived into the Word. No cleaning, no t.v. watching, nothing. It really helped that Allen gets home so late, because it was a completely quiet house, and I dedicated that time to the Lord. And oh my word did He bless it.

I realized as I spent most of my time at church in the nursery that I was solely responsible for my spiritual walk. It wasn't some preacher's job to get me to be Christ-like. It was my job and mine alone. Maybe it's not so hard for some, but for me, and my horrible sinful longings, I needed to dedicate a lot of time to God and His Word. I would record sermons from people, read books, read the Word, do Bible studies, talk with friends, whatever I could to grow myself. And God blessed it. I grew spiritually without a church. Not the people. I wouldn't live a day without my friends, but I grew without the instruction of a church. Not fun, but again, God blessed it.

(I know my friends are glad the Joyce Meyer days are over. I quoted her so much, I could actually hear the eye rolling when I'd toss back out what I'd learned that week. God bless her. She really did help me out for a while. And I do admit to saying, "Run to the throne, not the phone" when we were talking about how you immediately react to tough situations last week. Hey, it's a good reminder for me...)

SO, now that I have 3 pretty grown up kids (SWEET HALLELUJAH) God impressed it on my heart that He wanted to start spending some really quiet time with me in the morning. I was okay with that. One of my favorite series is the Yada Yada Prayer Group series. The main character starts her day out early in the morning with her Bible, her recliner and her cup of coffee. While reading those books, I would think, "Oh, I want that." I really wanted that.

So when school started, I started setting my alarm for 6 am. The coffee is on a timer, and it's ready when I come down the stairs. I get a cup, curl up in my corner of the couch, get snuggled up with Bella, and we go before the Lord.

I'm just gonna say that what God is doing in my life through this time is nothing, and I mean nothing, short of a miracle. I am reading and learning things that I use in my day. I mean like they are there for me in the morning to use so clearly during the day. I'm reading scriptures that come back to me through things I'm reading, people I talk to and sermons too. I promise you, that even during a question and answer session at church on Wednesday night, our pastor read a passage I had read one morning. I think I even said, "Of COURSE you're reading this..." out loud. It was one of those coughing and covering it up moments. Not embarrassing at. all.

So I now set my alarm for 5:50, because I was losing some getting-my-coffee-letting-Bella-out-to-pee moments and wasn't getting started until 6:15. I go until 7 when it's time for me to walk/run. I am now fantasizing about getting up at 5:30 to have more time. Isn't that just crazy? It is crazy.

I'm going to bed at 10 now, and if I could just go on 7 hours of sleep a night, I could pull off getting up even earlier. I consider it a true character flaw that I need 8 hours of sleep a night to function correctly. Especially since I went without sleep for so many years. Maybe that's why I need so much now? I don't know. I'm working on it.

But for now, I'm loving the quiet gray of the early morning. I love seeing the sun come up. I love communing with God before anything else enters my mind. I really see now why Joshua, Jesus and others got up early to spend time with God. It's just precious. PRECIOUS. I can't even put it into words. I'm more in love with Him now than I've been ever.

And He's walking me through some lonely, shady paths that haven't been trodden much. It's a precious journey, and He's taking those steps with me in the early morning hours before the world is even awake.

This Lady Makes Me Laugh

http://thecreativejunkie.com/2009/09/15/kurt-cobain-is-alive-and-well-and-living-in-my-daughters-armpit/

Overthinkin' at the gym

A couple of weeks ago, on a Saturday, I awoke to a rainy morning. I love rainy days, so that was no problem. The one problem was that I've gotten kinda addicted to my morning walks. Now that Zane goes with me, yes GOES WITH ME, they aren't exactly the intimate walks with God that they used to be. Now it's kinda like my talking to God on the telephone with Zane constantly interrupting. That's okay, though, because I figure that's just where I am right now.

So after getting a little antsy about missing my walk, it occurred to me that maybe I should go to the Y to walk on the treadmill. I don't like treadmills, and honestly had only been on a treadmill one other time in my life. I figured that I'd give it a try given that I needed to get out of the house and this was a free thing I could do. Free was good. Exercise was good. How could I go wrong?

I poked in my head in and checked with Allen. He was cool with it, and I asked him again how to work the treadmill. See, I was a little nervous. He laughed and said, "Um, you kinda get on it and turn it on..." He saw the look on my face and assured me that I would be fine. I get really nervous about this sort of thing. The ultimate in silliness. What if I get in there and can't get the thing on and everybody is looking at me and I still can't figure it out? It's like being in 6th grade all over again!

So I headed out, only partly daunted, to the Y. On the way to the cardio room, I stopped by the bathroom. I stood, frozen, in the bathroom lobby, because it occurred to me that I could go into the "adult only" locker room. I stood there for a moment, relishing in the face that I could actually venture where I had never ventured before. I am sad to report that the adult locker room is MUCH nicer than the family one. Not that I can blame the Y. My kids are also on a continuous path of destruction, though mostly unintended, to cut a swatch through the world. So I figure the Y is only protecting some investment. I mean, they even had a massaging recliner in there. They were living in up in style over there. Oh well.

After exploring the bathroom further, it was time to go meet the beast. I entered the cardio room trepidatiously. I approached the last row of treadmills, which was empty, and cautiously stepped on. Sure enough, there was a huge ON/OFF button. So I pushed it. Easy enough. No need to flee in embarrassment. I got going a little to get warmed up. I got my music going. I increased my speed a little more and a little more. I got a little incline going. I was starting to get comfortable. I still had to clutch the handrails, convinced I was going to somehow fly off the back of the thing and smash into the mirrored wall behind me. But I was getting comfortable.

Then, it happened.

I realized that I have gym neurosis.

It should have been expected, really. I'm a weirdo. Why would I not be weird at the gym?

As I studied the two people walking in front of me, I realized I needed to see their speeds of how fast they were walking. I had to be sure I was walking faster than they were. Why? Who the heck knows? I also realized that I didn't want to walk on that row of treadmills, because I wouldn't want people looking at my butt while I was walking. Like they would. Then, even though I was the only person on my row, a nice man came and got on the treadmill right. next. to. me. UGH. So then I had to study his workout progress. I kept up with him until he started to run. Then I gave up on that. Oh but I that didn't keep me from trying to see/hear what was on his iPod.

Then, even though we were the only two on our row, another nice man came in an got on the treadmill right next to me on the other side. REALLY? Now I was a little annoyed. I felt a little claustrophobic. And I had another speed to keep up with. Luckily he was a runner and put me in the dirt very soon. So I was back to keeping ahead of the two other walkers in the room. I got a little worried about the amount of sweat falling on the various parts of the treadmill, but was tremendously relived to see that when you are done, you get one of this little antibiotic wipie things and you wipe down the top part of your treadmill. That made me feel so much better. I did wish that I had wiped mine off before I got on it, just in case the person before me didn't do such a great job.

I also got fascinated with this one girl who, when she ran, never ever put her heels down. She ran entirely on her tiptoes. I know this because I studied this for quiet a while. I was mesmerized. Then I wondered if I could ask her to put her heels down so I could stop looking at her feet and wondering about this. It wasn't like I had a whole lot else to do. Then I forced myself to stop thinking about that and move on. That can be done occasionally. And luckily she didn't run for very long. And how could you, when you're only running on your tiptoes?

There are lots of televisions on the wall, but without the earphones, you can't hear anything on them. That's really frustrating, although I'm not putting on those headphone thingies. The very nice people at the Y assured me that they disinfected them, but I'm not sure there's a level of disinfection that I'm comfortable with when it comes to copious amounts of sweat. I stayed obsessed with the workout numbers on my treadmill panel. There's way too much information for a person like me who loves numbers and measuring and all that stuff. I hate that you see how many calories you are burning. On one hand, it's nice because it's a great motivation to keep going. On the other hand, it's depressing how far and fast you have to go just to burn off one Cliff Bar you had with your coffee that morning.

So I turned my focus to my music. I started worshiping and praising God, just like in the mornings in the neighborhood. I'm quite sure my neighbors think I'm crazy, walking about, swinging my hands in the air and pumping my arms up and down. I guess I just look crazy, but I don't care much. I did care on the treadmill, although I did get a few clandestine hand raises in. That took me through the end of my workout.

I went back the next day, and found that I had to get on the exact same treadmill. We had a history, he and I. It was another good workout, and I was surprised how sore I was from the day before. I guess I get a much better workout on the treadmill that sauntering about my neighborhood. It was a great way to spend some alone time, and I do want to go back and do it again more regularly. I just don't want people to get on those treadmills right next to me. :)

r

Happy Anniversary!

We had a great 14th anniversary! It was on a Wednesday, and to say that we were exhausted would be a huge understatement. We decided, undaunted, that we were going to have fun anyway! My sweet sister, Anna, came to babysit the kids. Allen surprised me with roses, which was very sweet. I loved them!

We went to one of our favorite locally owned Italian restaurants, Joe's. It's so good. The sweet matriarch takes care of you as soon as you walk in. While we were waiting on our table, she gave us some "Italian Water." This was red wine, Sprite and lemon slices. It was soooo good! She carried around a pitcher and didn't let our glasses get too empty. Also, while we were waiting for our table, one of Allen's friends from high school came in. She's a wine rep and had come to bring some wine. She brought us some samples of things to taste, which is why I have two glasses in front of my on the table. ;) The food was good too! My favorite part was when "Mama" danced a traditional Italian dance with a waiter who was playing the harmonica. The entire restaurant was laughing and clapping. It was so sweet and fun that I laughed until I nearly cried. I so wish I was Italian!!!

After dinner, we went to Book-A-Million and browsed around for a bit. We then gave into our fatigue and went home. It was a sweet night and a great dinner. When we got home, we got another present. Zane had woken up, and Anna had gotten him back to sleep! That was huge! It made me very, very happy!

My gift from Allen is one of my favorite ever. I admit that I found it, quite by accident, on Etsy, but he took care of ordering it and getting it here! When we were dating, I would read poetry to him. ee cummings is one of my most favorite poets ever, mostly because he breaks all the rules, and one of my favorite poems to read to Allen was "i carry your heart." It became "our poem." It surprised us greatly to learn that one of our favorite guitarists, Michael Hedges, actually recorded it as a song with David Crosby singing. Our dear friend Jon sang it at our wedding. So my bracelet is a sweet reminder of our courtship and our wedding. It was a perfect gift!

It was a great anniversary, and I am praying it's a year of our marriage the glorifies God greatly.

i carry your heart with me - ee cummings


i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you


here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart


i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PqSZzmUMHM&feature=PlayList&p=85BDEA4979685ADA&index=0&playnext=1


(You Tube video of Michael Hedges singing our song!)

The Epic Beach Slideshow! Finally!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

New laundry strategy

I really hated my old laundry method. I would do laundry all day on Monday, pile it up on our love seat, and there it would sit until I could have wine/laundry/movie night. I really did like wine/movie night, but when the return to school began to near, I knew I wasn't going to have time for all that. So I decided to try something new. Besides, I hated looking at all that laundry until it could get folded. Worse yet, the boys would pretend it was a mountain and climb it, knocking stuff down and strewing it all over the living room. Quick way to make Mama go crazy.

I waited until the laundry was all piled good and high. Probably 2 weeks worth. Then, what I did was wash a load during the day. I'd hang up what I could and then dry the rest. Then, while the kids were in the bath, I'd take this one load upstairs, fold and put it away. It literally takes about 10 minutes to fold and put one load away. The kids are playing in the bath, so it's the perfect time.

I did this every day for about 10 days. And amazingly I caught up on the laundry. Once I was all caught up, I did a load every 2 days. The hamper was always empty, I always had bras to wear (the thing I run out of first. Wait, was that tmi? I doubt seriously that I have a single male reader of this blog. And isn't it common knowledge that all women wear bras? Oh well...) and I wasn't stuck to a pile of laundry for an hour or longer. That was the very best part.

Laney is old enough now too that I just stick her folded laundry on her hamper in her room. She puts it away. Jude can too, but I usually do his and Zane's myself. Some days, that's just easier. Soon they are all going to put their own stuff away. Man, I love big kids.

Anyway, a load a day. Whew. Little ways to make my life easier!

Let's Eat!

So here is how the menu turned out for this week. I know there is lots of chicken on there, but we ate lots of ground turkey (ie, Nachos and burgers) at the beach because that was easier stuff to cook than other stuff. And there are two fried items because summer seems like it's coming to a close, and I want to eat our "summer" foods a lot this week. See, I'm weird with food. I overcame the "soup is only for fall/winter" this year thanks to my beloved Heather, and that expanded my recipe base tons this summer. Allen was glad too. He loves soup. But I still have some weird food things that remain. Fried green tomatoes just feel mostly like summer. Fried okra too. Good grief... So, here it is, in all its glory:

Monday: The rest of Sunday's lasagna
Tuesday: Crock Pot whole chicken with new potatoes and carrots. Also fried okra.
Wednesday: Homemade Chick-fil-A soup with the rest of the chicken and the stock from the Crock Pot.
Thursday: Salmon Croquettes, fried green tomatoes and baked yellow squash. Brown rice, too, for the kids.
Friday: Homemade chicken fingers, organic boxed Mac and Cheese and steamed frozen broccoli.
Saturday: Homemade chicken wings and Alexis frozen waffle fries. Sliced carrot sticks are the veggie ;)
Sunday: The much anticipated chicken picatta. I'm scared. Hold me.

That's it. I spent approx. $140.00 at Publix, which is more than I usually spend, but I bought the chicken fingers and the wings, which I usually don't buy, along with a coupole of other meats for breakfast or "reserve." I also splurged on some yummy chips and caramel popcorn stuff that we love. I wasn't ready to completely give up the vacation eating just yet!

I have budgeted $150.00 a week on groceries (well, 4 weeks' worth) but I try to stay close to $100 because I usually hit Costco once a month and Whole Foods once a month. I also don't mind going over budget a bit since we aren't eating out at all. Well, actually we may run by the Chick on Friday, but that's it!

Whew! Off to cook up my soup!